had to laugh at this..

Winkfish · Jan 23, 2011

zeehag said:
we are identical twins of different parents separated at birth...

My favorite is, "We went to different schools together."

bruce1309 · Jan 24, 2011

or...where am I when I need myself?

Ctskip · Jan 24, 2011

Some people go through life never finding out their mate was not the perfect fit. They just seem to stumble through life.
For most,it takes a few abnormal predicaments to come to that conclusion.
For others they seem to understand it rather quickly.
The real question is how much of yourself are you willing to sacrifice to save a relationship?
I believe we all sacrifice some, while for others, it seems they don't sacrifice at all.

Everything take work if it's going to be worth while.

Keep it up,
Ctskip

WayneH · Jan 24, 2011

Winkfish said:
My favorite is, "We went to different schools together."

I like "My brother from a different mother."

Sailm8 · Jan 24, 2011

I'm very lucky to have found the perfect partner and best friend. I am the dreamer and she is the practical one. A perfect fit for sharing adventures. 42 years and still going strong.

David in Sandusky · Jan 27, 2011

The Admiral and I both love being on the boat. Sailing, anchored, at the dock - whatever...

I have observed that some of us drive our partners away from our boats. Also that each of us is quite different from the next.

seadaddler · Jan 27, 2011

Found Her

I got lucky the second time around right place right time and I saw fireworks when we met on a ski lift in Vermont,I learned to be a good skier real fast chasing after her,18 years and she still lights my fire.
Nick

Bob Mack · Jan 27, 2011

Zee:

Have been watching your "quest" and have appreciated your good humor and also appreciate the difficulty in trying to find a partner and/or crew.

Back about 12 years ago I still had my boat and was recently divorced from my wife of 21 years. As always, the reasons were complex, but amongst other things she had a speech defect and had become incapable of using the word "boat" with out linking it to the adjective "F#*KING".

I was enjoying my freedom and as I often said "living under a bridge". I acknowledged how low my odds of finding the right partner was. I basically convinced myself to not try looking and enjoy my time. I especially avoided any on line searching.

I managed to meet my now partner of 12 years, right across the bar at my favorite "Sailor Bar". She had been going there for 20 years as well, and we'd never run into each other. It's been a great partnership. Turns out she had sailed for 20+ years, had her own sailboat, and our abilities, limitations, spare parts and skills were a surprisingly good match. And as our favorite haunt just became a casualty of the economy, after 50 years, I guess we'll just have to stay together.

Without being too serious, the points being: 1: Never look too hard, 2: Remember there are other ways you might just run into someone with our shared unusual obsession besides going on line.

Best of luck and fair winds.

Bill Roosa · Jan 27, 2011

Working on it

I have to agree, it takes work. It took a lot more work with my first wife. Not so much with the current one.
For those of you who are struggling I found a book that might be helpful. It is called "the languages of love." Don’t remember the author. Apparently everybody has a language of love. Touching, words of appreciation, gifts, quality time.... there are seven as I remember. Now if you are a toucher and your partner is a words of appreciation you are going to be giving them a back rub (what you would want in that situation) instead of talking to them about it. They will be unsatisfied with the back rub and wonder why you don't just talk to them....... You are speaking different languages.

I think this is why some couples seem to just have no problems and others have to work at it a lot. Couples that speak the same language just feel loved the same way they show love so it just falls into place. Those that are speaking different languages just set themselves up over and over again.

I currently have a wife that has the same language as me and I cannot tell you how much less stress and more fun it is with her. My first wife and I did not speak any language in common and it was a real trial for even the small things.

FWIW

catsailor · Jan 27, 2011

My wife, whom I love very much, is not a great out-door activity partner for a number of physical reasons. That my earlier activites included rock and ice climbing, and sailing a beach cat in too much wind.

However, she learned early on that if she let me go off on my own or with climbing buddys for a certain amount of free time each week, I was MUCH easier to live with. Now that I have a more sedate boat, she joins me much of the time.

If the activity is wild sailing, I'm better off alone or with a sailor. If it quite exploration, my wife and daughter are far better choises.

Compromise.

LuzSD · Jan 27, 2011

I am one of the lucky ones too; I married a man who has taught me a lot about forgiveness and moving on. We are very different but we enjoy that … he can live vicariously through me and vice versa. I am more outgoing; he is reserved but loves to be part of what I stir up. If one of us gets excited about something, the other jumps too, in support of the other. That is our give and take but it is effortless and such a joy to have such a peaceful and happy existence. This is both of our 2nd marriages (but we are 33 years together!) and I am not sure if we were a perfect match or we learned to be better partners from our previous disasters. I think the key is to enjoy each other’s differences and not make an effort to change the other to be more like ourselves. I love that he looks and responds to the world differently than I do.....it gives us something to talk about and I constantly learn from him.

We came into sailing together with no experience and discovered and became passionate about it together. It has been a blast.

Last comment........ Someone else mentioned that one is dreamer the other practical: my parents described it at one was the balloon on a string, and the other was the brick at the end of the sting. The brick allows the balloon to bob and dart into lots of fun areas, but never gets lost. I love that description, the perfect match.

Ctskip · Jan 28, 2011

We are looking forward to your adventures. How about a few pics of the vessel and crew. Be safe and be sure to let someone know your travel plans. One can't be to safe in todays market.
be safe

Keep it up,
Ctskip