Ouch! Sorry to hear of your damage and your wife's burns.:cry:
We stopped using alcohol a number of years ago after having two very seasoned alcohol stove users start fires though none were as bad as yours. They can be highly reliable but anytime you have to pour a fuel on a boat it makes me uncomfortable..
Fires near or on the stove is why the ABYC requires an LPG solenoid cut off switch not located over or behind the stove. Trying to reach over a fire is never fun.
As for extinguishers one of ours is mounted to the starboard bulkhead opposite the stove, which is on port. I wanted it far enough away from the stove that I could get to it if a flame ensued at the stove. Not very pretty but functional.
I hope all goes well with the insurance adjuster. At least the damage does not hinder sailing and while I am sure it does not smell good and is not pretty to look at at least you can still sail!
You can try
PureAyre to minimize the charred odors. I use it in the fire place in the off season and it works really well at keeping that smokey smell at bay.