Fool's errands

[Stephenbinion]

Fools Erands

The Communications Chief in the Marine Corps is usually a Gunnery Sergeant (E7). The radios were all named things like PRC-77. It is pronounced ***** seventy seven. We sent guys to get the PRC-E7 from the Comm Shop.

If the trucks light switch was switched to "Blackout" the horn won't honk. "Boot, go to the motor pool and get me a can of Beep"

Batteries were named BA3030 or BA100. Send a guy to Supply to get a dozen BA Eleven Hundred Novembers. He would then write BA1100N on the form. They always got "We ain't go no #$%%ing balloons Boot."

Guy gets sent to get a Blank Firing Adapter (BFA) for the main gun for an M1 Abrams tank. After being gone all day he shows up for final formation and the Platoon Sergeant wants to know where the heck he had been. "Squad leader sent me to fetch this" Handing the Platoon sergeant a cap off a fireplug with the letters "BFA M1A1 Abrams" hand stenciled on it. Squad leader got to carry the BFA for the rest of the week. Platoon Sergeant checked regularly to see if the Squad Leader had it.

 

[purcellr]

Re: Fools Erands

As a junior enlisted guy in the Navy Hospital Corps I was sent to the lab for a box of fallopian tubes. Needless to say they were out of stock.

 

[Roger Keele]

Where are all the Navy guys on here... didn't you ever get sent for a gallon of bulkhead remover???

 

[Ross]

Have you ever been asked to find a pussy stretcher? It is a board about this long and this wide that is used when you carry a sick cat to the Vet.

 

[Allan12210]

When I was a research chemist, we used to have the receptionist get on the PA system and page Dr. Leary to the Acid Lab. We were so childish.

 

[rpwillia]

The Baltimore Sun

..., and when under way, you always post a mail buoy watch Joe S

Years ago , some guys at Naval Intelligence got this reporter from the Baltimore Sun to write a whole long story about submarine ops and slipped in a story about the mail buoy watch and how it was vitally important. Seems it was a bit of a payback for a hack job he had done on them the year before.

 

[Carver13014]

Back in Scouting days I was asked at a campout to find a bacon stretcher - my friend was asked to find a left-handed smoke shifter.
An hour later my friend came back emptyhanded.
I, on the other hand, found someone who had made a bacon stretcher out of a piece of lumber and a few binder clips, just for such a situation.
My many thanks to the guy out there, many years ago, who saved my bacon..

Back in my boy scout days we sent someone out for a smoke bender. This request usually ended up as empty handed as you were. But one time, one of the scouts came back with a 6 foot piece of round stove ducting with a 90 degree elbow on it. He stood in front of that fire for quite a while, smoky tears running down his face with this thing hoisted into the smoke trying to "bend the smoke". Funny as hell!

 

[zeehag]

there is always the neck tournequet for medical folks, the water for the radiator in an aircooled vw and muffler bearings and their grease and the headlight lube kit.....

 

[deepfreezesailor]

A fellopian tube for the transmitter. Do they even have tubes anymore?

 

[Pompier]

How about the key to the sea chest?

 

[delliottg]

As an electrician in the USN we'd frequently get some nug sent back to us looking for Sound Powered Phone batteries. We'd inform them that those were kept in the Damage Control Assistant's office (halfway back towards the bow and three decks down through tight hatches), the DCA would tell them that he no longer stocked them because of fire hazard in the confined space and they were now being kept by the hull techs (damage control guys) back in A-gang (right next to my shop), who'd send them to the bosun's locker (all the way at the other end of the ship). Each shop had it's own excuse why they no longer had them. The slower guys might be gone all day being sent on a tour of the entire ship.

New engineers would be sent to the fire rooms for a "BT Punch" (Boiler Tech), who would promptly punch them in the chest.

My dad & older brother were both USN before me, so I had a pretty good idea of what I was in for when I got on board ship, so I'd just disappear for a couple of hours when I was sent on those type of errands.

Nugs would also be told they had to break all old light bulbs before they were thrown over the side because as they got closer to the magnetic field of the earth by dropping through the water, they would come on and illuminate our submarines. The real reason you had to break or puncture anything that would float was because the Russians would trail behind our formations, collect our trash and try to gather intelligence from it. The spooks on board always had sink bags with lead weights to guarantee their stuff would sink (after being shredded & sometimes burnt).

My dad was a soda jerk and got send all around town for a "counter stretcher", the various places he got sent to all had similar stories why they no longer had it, so you need to go to so & so's place, I lent it to them.

 

[rock20042]

Back in my day, along with "muffler bearings", was "a can of compression". All the local auto parts dealers got tired of us real quick...

 

[frelichth]

Fool's Errand

Back when I worked for the carnival, we were setting up the ferris wheel and one particularly dull individual kept getting in the way. We noted there were a significant number of lamps out on the wheel. We sent this person to parts for a dozen fallopian tubes.

 

[Smoke Eater]

That can of propeller pitch thinner was always a good one when I was still flying a lot.

"Go fetch me twenty feet of wing chord" was another.

 

[BobW]

In my day in the Army, we would send the new guy for a ST-1 kit (spelled STONE) or an ID ten T card (spelled ID10T).

Seems some things never change!

Cheers,

Bob
s/v X SAIL R 8

 

[Alan K]

Asking the bar waitress for a "pitcher stretcher" is good for a few laughts!

 

[cvsailor]

BT punch

I was all too serious when I reported to my ship. The sent me to the boiler room to see Boiler Tachnician 2nd Hollifield for a number 5 BT (Boiler Technician) punch. The man was huge! He decked with a chest punch that took my breath away. It took me quite a while to figure out what happened.

We sent a lot of new guys looking for bilge rats on the ship.

Good times!

Joe

 

[Nik]

Don't forget...

To have a few Zigman valves and Shoe stoppers along.

 

[barcode readers]

Stupid terms

I am doing some work this week for a Coast Guard Warrent Officer and we were talking today about errands that the new guys are sent on. Most I have heard; A bucket of prop wash, a hundred yards of shoreline. A half gallon of prop pitch, but a new one for me was, a can of magnetic bearing grease.
Let's add the others that I know are out there.

keys to the sea chest. I too have spent years in the Coast Guard. I lost the keys to the sea chest once and sent many a seaman to go and find them.

 

[Dave Groshong]

We'd send recruits on Navy ships to the Hull Technician's shop to get an HT punch. All the guys in the shop were pretty big and they would all punch the poor kids arm.