Dumb and dumber

[Dave Showalter]

An "Out of Boat Experience"

I have sailed mostly Hobie 16's & 18's all my adult life. After my kids left home and my wife had screamed at me for the last time " I HAD FLYING HULLS" I sold my Hobie 16'. I wanted a small but fast boat I could set up and sail by myself so I bought a Laser. Bad move! I weight 270 and am 6'2. I shoved off and climbed aboard. That was a trip in itself. I had never been on such a timpsy little sucker in all my sailing years. Before I could react I was overboard and it was sailing off by itself. My only hope was to grag the rudder and let it drag me along. It was great. Here I am body surfing behind a Laser. I finally guided it back to shore without any damage to the Laser or myself...well there was my pride as people on the shore watched me make an ass out of myself.I sold it immediately and am now the proud owner of a beautiful Javelin. By the way, I have not had the opportunity to sail the Javelin yet and can't wait to try this little honey out. After all I have read about the Javelin on this website I am sure I will love it.

 

[Pete Steinmetz]

Head or foot - What's the difference

On our first time out the winds were around 16 knots. We cleared the harbor and I immediately cut the engine and proceeded to raise the sails. Our "Sommerhaus", a C22, swung off the wind and I had a heck of a time getting the main up. Once up, I couldn't seem to control it with the main sheet and realized the boom was attached to the backstay. That fixed, up went the jib. Did you know that when you put the jiib on upside down, it gets real hard to trim. I had the head at the tack and the foot up the stay. Needless to say the sheets where hard to reach. My wife tried to get the sail down, but my daughter was clinging to the jib sheet screaming "We're going to drown! I know we're going to drown". Once I convinced that she had to let go of the sheet before the jb could be put on correctly, my wife came to the rescue and reminds hardly at all (100 times...maybe). As we finally got things in order I scanned the shore with hopes that no old salts were watching our dismal performance.

 

[Phil Steinsiek]

Stuck in the mud

A couple of seasons ago we were heading to one of the docks in Fossil Bay in Sucia Island State Park our Hunter 25. Our depth finder had stopped working so we were taking it slow when we came to a stop. After a bit of laughing we managed to get the boat backed out of the mud and tried again from a different angle but with the same result. By this time there was a crowd on the dock and we were all laughing. Again we backed the boat off the mud and decided to hook a buoy instead. The depth finder was quickly fixed after that.

 

[Alan Johnson]

It's always the simple things

On the third or fourth time out on my Oday 25, after an afternoon of great wind, I returned to the marina. The wind died within about 300 yards of the dock. No problem, crank the engine and cruise in. I had planned to do that anyway. The sun was down, and we were late getting my 13 year old son's friend home. Fortunately his mother understands tacking into the wind. (that was one of the dumb things that day, but it's a different story) The engine, however, would not turn over. I was convinced that I had a major repair problem, in addition to the immediate problem of getting to the slip. My quick thinking wife called the dock (it was closing time) and a guy came out to tow us in. The next day I checked on the boat and found that the gas line was disconnected. DUH! Always check the simple things.

 

[Steve Steakley]

Never leave your Sheets in the cleet

After renting a Hobie 16 in Mexico I had to have one. On My fourth outing at Lake Travis here in Austin, Texas I was single handing as my wife watched from the shore. The winds died and I beached the cat forgetting to uncleat the jib sheet. I told my wife that we should just call it a day and she said to come up and enjoy some lunch she brought and maybe the winds would pick up again. Well they did and as I was enjoying a cold one and a great sandwich, my wife said..here comes some wind...and there went my Hobie 16 right off the beach, at 52 years of age I sprinted down a rocky area leaping over vegitation and small rocks, Dove into the water and swam like an olympic swimmer (just slower). A kyaker caught my Hobie but it was dragging him...fourtunatley the park rangers on patrol in there powere boat spotted the run away Hobie and stopped it...they did however wait for me to swim about 2 hundred yards to get to the boat, by the time I got there I could hardly get on board...I sailed right back to the beach and dropped the sails and drank another beer while I recovered from the swim...Sail# 71607

 

[Brian Bailey]

Storm Watch

They say never run from the storm. Well one time I thought I had plenty of time to turn around and make it back to port. Nada. The sheet hit me so hard all i could do was jump back and forth across the narrow ICW marker 42 and kept running aground. The irony, I was on a first (and last)date with someone. Never again. I have learned to read the weather and will not make an attempt to go out even if I'm encouraged by a being to do so. There is always another time

 

[Barry C]

Dare We Ask

Dumb or Dumber is a question best left unanswered. For as sure as the wind will rise again qualifying past acts as dumb or dumber, the Gods will introduce you to the inevitable dumbest

 

[Eric C Lindstrom]

Ran out of diesel ...

Twice.The entire story can be found at the link below. A simple trip from New Jersey to Central New York pretty much speaks for itself.Learn from my mistakes.

 

[Ed A.]

I know about the tether too.

While single handing a race boat back home i too took the dive. I had the autopiolt set and the remote controll in my shirtpocket. The boat was motoring off at about 6 knots in calm conditions. I felt the urge and went to the stern lighten the pressure in the bladder. As i held on with one hand to the stern rail i hit a boat wake i think, and over i went, i grabbed the rail and tucked into a ball, my head went compleatly arround the rail and back in the boat and my body almost followed. by now im hanging wiht my shoulders and head on the boat and body extended out behind, whith both hands ont he stern rail. teh wire to the autopilot is now wound arround the stern rail and pulling tight against my shirt pocket keeping me from pulling myself back aboard. finally the shirt ripped and i was able to drag myself back aboard under the sternrail. This is not the reccomened boarding technique. I took all the skin off my back as i wiggled back on board, but the thought of the boat powering away was motivation to hang on.I later learned that the majority of boaters found after drowning have there zippers down.The bad news was that i wet my pants anyway!Im now a confirmed member of the both the teather and the pee bucket clubs!

 

[Mike]

Tack or Top

Well, the same guy who posted the story of the anchor going overboard has another little tale that brings a smile to my face. Nothing life treatening, but funy and embarrasing nonetheless. When I first bought my Catalina 22, we decided to take it out in a smaller confined bay in some light to moderate winds to try her out. We hoisted the main first to see how she sailed under the main alone. After a traveling upwind at a rather slow pace, I suggest we hoist the jib. So, my buddy goes below, grabs the jib and starts hanking it on. I'm in the cockpit delighted to be sailing my new boat, keeping an eye on things. So he finishes hanking the jib on and returns to the cockpit. After completing a tack, with more room to work with ahead of us, he hoists the jib, but something just didn't look right. With many on lookers passing by in their boats, including the previuos owners in their power boat, the jib was hoisted upside down, which made our seamanship skills look quite questionable. My firend is no dummy, and he has plenty of sailing experience, so what happened? Apparantly, the previous owner marked the Head of the jib with a "T", which my friend thought meant tack, but apparantly it meant Top....

 

[Steve Lohbeck]

I'm afraid I damaged some brain coral

The first time I sailed down to Key west down the ICW, I was so used to just navgating by watching the channel markers (laziness) that when I left Biscayne Bay ( out in Hawks channell outside), I just headed for the first green marker without looking at the charts. Well sure enough, I got out somewhere in John Pennycamp Park , way outside the channell ( a few miles) and sure enough ran right into a beautiful brain coral that was just a couple of feet below the surface. Luckily I didn hole the boat, but I sure took out a chunk of coral that I have been feeling very guilty about ever since. I finally made it back to the channel, weaving in and out of very visable coral heads. No real damage to the boat but it could have been a real disaster. Believe me ....I now always pay real close attention to the charts, the compass and any other means of navigation I have available, no matter where I am sailing.

 

[John H. Lynn]

Face to face to a northeaster

I departed Port Everglades during a lull in a northeaster storm about 0100 hours and headed towards Bahamas, West End. About two hours out, the storm kicked back up. It was a rough ride that took 21 hours to reach West End.

 

[Mark Gibson Hunter22]

Also Kissed the Dock

The first time, the VERY first time we put our boat in the water, we were coming into the slip just a little too hard and hit the dock.Broke the bowlight into a few dozen pieces but that was the only damage. No one died and the boat still floats, so, I guess it was a good weekend after all.

 

[James- last name withheld to maintain some dignity]

I can only choose one?

Picking just one dumb experience is difficult for someone like me... yet the following stands out->January in N. Georgia (Lake Hartwell)on my friends newly acquired catamaran. We waited for a solid blustery day w/ winds ~15-20+ air temp ~45-50F during the day. Given the cold, we opted to wear shoes and sweatsuits. Neither of us had any experience with catamarans and I was elected to pilot. My friend was adament re: flying a hull so we tore out to the middle of the lake away from the shelter of the bay near the launching area. I also sheeted the sails tight and cleated the main. The last thing I remember (5 minutes into the sail) was my friend saying- "looks like we are going to get into some wind!" seconds later we were flipped into the ice water, sheet still cleated in about 60' of water. Another minute later, we were pitch-poled ~200 yards from shore. 1/2 hr later it was getting dark and we retrieved the life preservers that were conveniently (NOT)tied to the tramp (under water) and swam to shore... the story unfortunately isn't over, but I'll condense it here... we made it to shore, the temperature plummeted and found out we were locked out of my friends truck! We were lucky enough to find a pair of fishermen that helped us right the cat (at night) and we managed to break into the truck. Hypothermia is quite real and quite dangerous (and painful when you warm up an hour or so later) We now use sailing gloves on the mainsheet in challenging conditions and wear wetsuits and life preservers in the winter.... Then there was the time I hit the bridge in my 26' Columbia... but that's another story ;-)

 

[Mac Smith]

I failed to disconnect the shore line too!

I was showing my 27 Morgan to the buyer, going on the sea trial, when I heard a "POP" behind us, and realized I had not disconnected the shore power. I was not going to say anything, but the buyer saw it. The main terminal was below the lazaret, so the wiring broke at a previously electrical taped area. We sailed on, and I was very nervous, coming back in I bounced us off of 2 boats, and the dock. The guy still bought the boat! I simply told him, he could never have a worse day on the boat, even if he tried!

 

[Walt Allensworth]

We kept drifting into the dock...

Many years ago we rented a Endevour 33 from CYOA out of St. Thomas. After a few days of cruising we eventually found ourselves in Virgin Gorda and got a slip for the night. After carefully and cleanly pulling into the slip without banging anything my wife jumped off onto the dock to tie-up the bow. Even though there was little wind that day, the boat kept drifting into the dock. She would push it off with a great heave and try to tie the bow off, but it would drift right in again before she had a chance to tie it off. I got a little impatient and started calling (she said yelling) up to her, asking what the problem was. She was struggling like mad, and things were pretty frustrating for her without me adding pressure to get it done RIGHT NOW. After a minute or two more of this nonsense she was at the point of exaustion and I was getting pretty impatient. At that point, for some reason I happened to look down at the gear-shift lever and noticed that we were still in gear. Oooooooops. Man, was I red-faced. Twenty years later my wife still like to tell this story on me.Oh... also... I liked the upside-down jib story. In 1977 I helped sail the R/V Westward, a 127-foot gaff-rigged schooner from Woods Hole to San Juan. As I remember, the Westward had 4 jibs. Flying jib, jib tops'l, a regular jib, and a forward stays'l. Somehow we managed to get the jib tops'l on upside-down and the Captain didn't notice it for a whole week.

 

[patrick]

I was wondering where they might find me

last summer , while out for a play in my hobie 16 I decided so sail around Sapelo and Blackbeard islands -what would end up being about a 30 mile trip, port to port. coming out of doboy sound the wind picked up a bit and shifted more southerly. sweet, a tailwind. i stopped on the beach before entering the ocean to loosen the rig a bit to accomidate the increasing wind. once off the beach i was flying -that thing really moves out, espically compared to my 78 H25! though its not quite as stable.... as i was crossing the shallows off blackbeard the ocean became increasingly angry, the now southeast gale was blowing into an ebbing tidal current in shalow water. result- 5 foot, close interval, pitching waves. as i came down the back of a wave the bows dug in and the boat catapulted me into the water. i surfaced to find the boat on its side, no problem i thought, i'll just grab this righting line...then bam! the mast popped out of the base. mabye the rig was a little too loose. so here i am alone, nobody knows where i am, the tide is screaming out (we have 8 foot tides), it's 4 hours till dark, 5 hours till the tide changes, and i have no mast or motor. i had to get the mast up (this usually takes two people on land!) after an hour of severe beating i destroyed my step link, made another out of rope, broke a rudder with a falling mast, and had a VERY loosely rigged mast up. as i went to raise the main (now missing 2 battens) i was horrified to realise that the halyard clip was at the top of the mast! I'd have to sail to the beach under jib alone. (hobie jibs are really small) by this time i couldn's see the white of the beach, (about 3 miles out) it took another hour to get to the beach where i could tip the boat and got the rig straight. now i had to get home (another 7-8 miles) as i was cruising up the very shallow and narrow channel of mud river at low tide the wind, which had been steadily shifting, finally came into my face. now i had to tack with 1 rudder and a compromised rig in a narrow channel (hobies can be a pain to tack even when set up properly). As darkness fell the wind died. now three miles from my house at which point the gnats realised they had a free meal on their hands. i would have paddled but the now incoming tide was aginst me at this location and i had lost my paddle in the ocean. I tied the boat to a channel marker (icw) and wrapped up in my sail to escape the flies and prepared myself for a long night oh yeah, i ran out of water when i flipped and lost it. thank god my uncle had been fishing earlier and spotted me on his way home. as i was towed in it hit me as to just how serious that situation was! Always tell someone where you are going, have some form of communication, TIE your paddle on, carry an anchor, and do whatever applies to you to make your trip safer. because when it rains...it POURS!

 

[Robert B.]

This past weekend

I pulled a good one this past weekend. I was working on my boat doing general maintanence. I had opened my coning hatch and was crawling around inside greasing the steering pedastel, cables, etc. I was there by myself and was just enjoying the nice day and being on the boat. Next thing I knew, the lid slammed shut and the lock hasp fell locking the lid. I was locked inside, in the dark, with no one around to hear me yell. I looked around for tools that I could use to unscrew the hatch hinges or anything. Nothing. After a few minutes, I realized I still had my cell phone in my pocket. I called a friend who drove over and let me out, but not before giving me a hard time about it first.

 

[alex jomarron]

Pull harder!

All we had done up until now was motor the boat around. It was time to really sail her. We had all the confidence that the ASA's Basic Keelboat certification supplied. We convinced ourselves that we knew what we were doing. So we untied the mooring line and motored out of the harbor. I pointed Calgon's bow into the wind as my wife clambered above the cabin to raise the main. As she is yanking on the main halyard with all her might, she's yelling, "it won't move!" I yell, "pull harder!" After nearly a minute of this, I realize that we never untied the main from the boom. Laughing we untied the main, raised it, unfurled the gib, cut the motor and we were actually SAILING! We laughed at how fortunate we were that we didn't invite anybody to come witness our inaugural sail.

 

[T. Brennison]

Crusing Spinnaker

My first crusing spanniker was bought for my Hunter 36 around 1981. The first time I hoisted it was beautiful! There we were, in about 5-7 kts of wind running downwind. We were exuberant! Then the wind started picking up. I think I left it up too long. Finally, it dawned on me that the sail needed to come down. So, I went up on the foredeck, and as my wife began to ease up on the halyard, I started gathering it in. Guess what? Yep, the wind billowed it right back up. I became completely wrapped in the sail. Cocooned, one might say. I could see straight down only. And all I could see was water! The sail had carried me over the rail. Fortunately my wife didn't consider the insurance coverage on me right away and put the helm over to bring me back aboard. After we got back to port several days later, the first thing I did was to order a sock. Don't leave port without it!