Dumb and dumber

[Dan]

done lots of dumb things but,

the dumbest I believe is one day after racing with a friend on G Cat all afternoon and drinking far too much the night before, we are sailing into shore, Im standing on the starboard hull holding onto the shrouds. for some unknown reason (still unclear to this day) I stepped off the boat and we were still atleast 300 yds from shore. I mean just stepped off, as if the boat had beached. the good news is everyone on the beach thought I did it on purpose. DUH, what was I thinking?

 

[Paul]

Half sunk

Went sailing off the beach and after some time, my 14 ft day sailer was wallowing and sluggish. Sailed back to the beach, and when I try to drag the boat up on shore, I discovered that I had left the hull drain plug open and the hull was half full of water. This was my first experience with water ballast. Eventually bought a Macgregor.

 

[Dale Wilson]

Indoor plumbing

Being the proud owner of a new (to us) sailboat with a real head I tried pumping it out at the pump out station. No go. I turned valves, pumped more, turned other valves, pumped more, nothing. So having read all the articles about plumbing problems I approched the head with a screwdriver and started to unscrew the clamp around one of the hoses. Found out that I had pressurized the hose with my pumping and it erupted with a vengence. After I cleaned up the head and myself I sat down to think trough the plumbing system. My wife thought it was all pretty funny.

 

[Gil C. - the Wanderin' One]

Sure! Dredge up all those bad memories...

Yeah, OK - I've done a lot of dumb things on my boat. Made about all the mistakes I can think of, but the worst one was trusting unproven crew. It's like this, see, one beautiful afternoon at my club, all our boats were getting ready to start the weekly race. You know how it is, everyone is setting up sails and sailing every which way waiting for the starting gun. Well, I had four crew and I on my boat. Two guys were new to my boat. I was assured by one that he was very experienced in sailing and racing, so I but him on the starbord rail to watch for other boats. My son was on port. My 150% blocked my view on either side when at the wheel. The other two were on the bow setting the whisker pole. I was on port tack when I heard STARB-!!CRUNCH!!-ord. Yep, I hit a friend dead center. Went thru the hull, house, and right into his cabin. Almost sank his Ranger 23. The first thing I said was,,, well nevermind what that was,,, but the second thing was "Is anybody hurt?" Thankfully, no one was injured. There were 5 on my boat and 3 on his, and that accident still happened. As the Captain (skipper) we are responsible for what happens on our own boat, even stupidity like believing what unproven people say. Obviously, I should have put my son on starbord side, and watched more closely myself.

 

[henkmeuzelaar]

Mercifully, Phil deep-sixed all pre-1999 stories

Since these were my most fruitful years (if not in making dumb mistakes then most certainly in reporting them ;D)I was only able to find the description of my first big-boat landing, now almost 30 years ago (see link).Have fun!Flying Dutchman

 

[Ron Thom]

A Little Too Clean

It all started when I decided to clean up the engine compartment. When I bought Seascape (81 Catalina), she was in pretty sad shape having been neglected for some time. I had already repaired several systems and sanded and finished the entire interior. Although the engine (5411) ran well, it was pretty grubby. I decided to take off the air cleaner and clean off all the gunk that was clinging to the sides of it. Once off and apart, I noticed there was no kind of filter material inside the body of the air cleaner, just the wire mesh ring that was floating around inside. This didn't surprise me at all when I thought of some of the other things the previous owner(s) had done or not done when it came to the general maintenance of poor old Seascape. Once I had cleaned the entire air cleaner, I fashioned a new filter out of some bilge absorbent material I had and placed it on the outside of the metal mesh ring. I know, I know, the local engine shop was not open on Sunday and I wanted to finish the job. I put the two halves of the air cleaner back together sandwiching the new 'air filter' in it's rightful place. I started the engine and it purred like a kitten.Four days later while motoring out past the breakwater, the engine made a funny 'clank' sound and belched out a big cloud of white smoke. It stayed running but had little to no power. Thinking the head gasket had finally blown, (I was advised that it may need replacing when I had first purchased the boat), I limped back to my berth and called the mechanic. When I called him the next day, he told me he found the problem and had never in his life seen anything like it. When I asked him what it was he said there was some kind of material that had been sucked into the intake manifold and choked off the engine. It was way up the intake, right to the valves! I had a funny feeling I knew what the material was. I told him what I had done and he just laughed and said that was probably what he pulled out of the intake. NOW I needed a new head gasket for sure!The end result was I told him to go ahead and re do the head while it was apart. Four springs, two valves, a head gasket and a handful of bits and now I have a nearly new engine! Oh yeah, my homemade air filter only cost me $1548.00 .....pretty dumb!Cheers from a smarter, but poorer boat owner.Rons/v Seascape

 

[Ron Thom]

A Little Too Clean

It all started when I decided to clean up the engine compartment. When I bought Seascape (81 Catalina), she was in pretty sad shape having been neglected for some time. I had already repaired several systems and sanded and finished the entire interior. Although the engine (5411) ran well, it was pretty grubby. I decided to take off the air cleaner and clean off all the gunk that was clinging to the sides of it. Once off and apart, I noticed there was no kind of filter material inside the body of the air cleaner, just the wire mesh ring that was floating around inside. This didn't surprise me at all when I thought of some of the other things the previous owner(s) had done or not done when it came to the general maintenance of poor old Seascape. Once I had cleaned the entire air cleaner, I fashioned a new filter out of some bilge absorbent material I had and placed it on the outside of the metal mesh ring. I know, I know, the local engine shop was not open on Sunday and I wanted to finish the job. I put the two halves of the air cleaner back together sandwiching the new 'air filter' in it's rightful place. I started the engine and it purred like a kitten.Four days later while motoring out past the breakwater, the engine made a funny 'clank' sound and belched out a big cloud of white smoke. It stayed running but had little to no power. Thinking the head gasket had finally blown, (I was advised that it may need replacing when I had first purchased the boat), I limped back to my berth and called the mechanic. When I called him the next day, he told me he found the problem and had never in his life seen anything like it. When I asked him what it was he said there was some kind of material that had been sucked into the intake manifold and choked off the engine. It was way up the intake, right to the valves! I had a funny feeling I knew what the material was. I told him what I had done and he just laughed and said that was probably what he pulled out of the intake. NOW I needed a new head gasket for sure!The end result was I told him to go ahead and re do the head while it was apart. Four springs, two valves, a head gasket and a handful of bits and now I have a nearly new engine! Oh yeah, my homemade air filter only cost me $1548.00 .....pretty dumb!Cheers from a smarter, but poorer boat owner.Rons/v Seascape

 

[DD]

Bad omen for first sail on new boat

When we went to tow our new boat home from an out of state lake, pulling into the marina we passed an elderly gentleman lovingly putting about the hundredth coat of paint on an old wooden 15ft. sailboat. The paint was all that was holding the thing together. Asking about him, we found out that he's been sailing that old boat on the lake for 27 years. After our test sail, securing our new boat for the ride home, the old man passed us backing his boat down the slipway. We heard a crash and turned around to see the underside of his car, front wheels high in the sky, with trailer attached, floating down on some poor guys nice new Mac. The old man is sitting stuned in the car, and his boat is just so much flotsam drifting out into the lake. Seems he hit the gas instead of the brake. No one was hurt, but that was the last time he ever went sailing. Just sad.

 

[Steve Zweigart]

Puzzles and Solutions

I must say the most embarassed I was on my new-to-me Mac25 last summer was when I found a boarding ladder in the compartment (actually the bilge) below the seat where the galley is normally located on the port side just in front of the cockpit. The ladder was about three feet long and 10" wide with two large hooks at the top. The hatch opening was about 8" by 10". I could figure out no way that the ladder was placed in that comparment, nor could I find a way to get it out. Tried everything...left hook first...right hook first, twist it, try to turn the corner into the area where the keel cable was located...no avail. I even called the previouis owner, who said he'd had the same experience until he gave up. Finally bought new ladder and used an electric saw to cut each step in half on the one in the hatch so that it could be forcibly removed. Was very proud of myself for finally getting it out. Then, about a half an hour later, I discoverd the compartment under the seat directly toward the bow from the one where the ladder had been located....you know. It was about a foot wide, two and a half feet long, built like a fiberglass tub. A REMOVABLE fiberglass tub, which, when removed, opened up HUGE access to that whole side of the boat. Live and learn.

 

[Ben]

just a few...

I'm still new at the game and haven't had time to do anything horrible yet (yeah, I know, just wait!) but there's a few things that stick out in my memory. Before I had my own boat, I was sailing an Flying junior dinghy, and like someone else mentioned, I began to wonder why my feet were getting so wet. I hadn't closed the drain. Also went out one time and couldn't figure out why the boat would only sail sideways. Gee, I guess it helps to put the centerboard down.Oh, and speaking of dinghies, I've also learned the importance of an auxiliary. Went out with a friend on a Sunfish in the Bohemia river during a summer afternoon. Got about a mile away from the dock when the wind died. Sunset was not far off, and with no motor and no radio the decision was made that we would have to swim back and tow the boat behind us. I suppose it's a credit to my swimming that we made it halfway back before her father arrived home, and took pity on us by coming out with a skiff to tow us the rest of the way back.I suppose the dumbest thing I've done with my Capri was my first choice of docks. A friend was living at a waterfront house at the time we bought our bought. He offered us the use of his dock, and I checked out the water depth beforehand. It appeared to be at least 4 feet deep. So we motored our new boat down from Baltimore (13 hours of 2-stroke noise is not on my list of favorite things, but there was no wind that day). We arrived after dark, and managed to find the dock by means of cell phones and flashlight signaling. Coasting up to the dock, the boat came to a halt 10 feet short of it. We'd run out of water.So much for my free slip. We anchored the boat overnight, and made some hasty calls the next morning to local marinas. I guess I should have done a better check on the water depth, huh?

 

[Dan McGuire]

Hard to Decide

It is hard to decide. I have done three dumb things, which I would consider worthwhile. I ran the mast into an overhead power line while taking the boat out of the water. I drifted over a half-mile while asleep at anchor. And then there is the one, which I will describe.Just about every year we go to Panama City for a couple of months. Occasionally we take our 15 foot catamaran since my wife refuses to pull our other boat. I pull our fifth wheel trailer.I beach the catamaran on the bank behind our campsite. This is a small lagoon about 1/8 mile by one mile with an opening to the ICW through a small outlet about 20 feet wide. It was a great day for sailing the cat with winds gusting to about 25. The transit through the opening out of the lagoon was easy for once. Usually between the winds and the tide, I have to walk the cat through the opening.Out in the ICW the winds were screaming and I was moving at what I can only describe as a spectacular speed. I was chasing porpoises and having a great time. After a tiring hour or so I went back into the lagoon. Usually the winds drop off in the lagoon, but they held and I decided to continue to sail. I was down in the end of the lagoon in the middle when one of the pontoons started to sink slowly and I could not make it to shore. The cat sunk so that the good pontoon was just above the water. I got off and tied a line to the cat and tried to drag it to shore. The sunken pontoon was acting like and an anchor and I could not move it. I went back to the campsite and got a longer line and my wife. I attached the longer line and with both of us in the water up to our neck, we could not pull it out. It was this time when my wife mentioned that there are alligators in the lagoon. I told her I had never seen one. She said look at the sign-"Beware of the Alligators”. We both made a hasty retreat to the shore. I later pulled the cat out with a power boat and repaired a six foot long crack in the hull. I was back in the water in two days.We checked with the campground hosts and was told that there were alligators in the lagoon and one had been seen in the last few days.

 

[Steve Kamp]

Jib became a flag

While still very new to launching my 260 (third launch) I stepped the mast, pinned the forestay and furler, launched the boat and had a good day on the lake. It wasn't until returning to the launch ramp that I discovered that I had turned the furler base 180 degrees from normal position and could not furl the jib using the furling line. As there was a fair crosswind blowing at the ramp I had to release the sheets and the furler line, letting the jib fly to the side while I rolled it up by hand on the furler track. Steve Kamp

 

[Bobby McCullough]

So that is what the jib was for!

I took my little dinghy out in Feb. 2 years ago for a little frostbiting. The wind really kicked up so I furled my jib hoping to help depower my boat. Unfortunately, that just makes it unstable and within seconds of the next gust I am swimming in 46 degree water. Thanks to a winter regatta that was going on, and a losing sailor who pealed off to help me out, I survived. Lost a mast (bent) and rudder (those gudgeons won't hold me!)and some pride as well.

 

[Frank Hopper]

spring lines sprung

I cross my dock line at my slip to create a spring line action. Bow boat cleat to aft dock cleat, aft boat cleat to forward dock cleat. When backing out in te presence of a lot of people I let go the aft boat lines and forgot the forward boat lines. That meant I got completely out into the channel between docks before my boat suddenly yanked back into the slip to everyone's glee.

 

[Wayne Eisel]

new math

I had just bought my new/used Monark 14 dinghy. The monark has drop boards under the seats, and no center trunk. The boat had much more experience than I did as I proved by taking it out in 20 knots, cleating the sheets, and not locking down the boards. I quickly capsized in a gust. The boards retracted into the hull, and the boat quickly turtled. Unable to get at the boards to right her, I had to rely on the kindness of a passing stinkboater to right me. I did too many things wrong at the same time and the math got me.

 

[Roy Pederson]

A Key to Good Sailing

We lived at the time on the Sacramento River about 10 miles downstream from the City of Sacramento. We were going to take our boat out for a day sail on the lower river delta - about a 25 mile drive to where we put the boat in the water. We got there and launched the boat and parked the truck and trailer. Got back to the to power away from the dock at the launch ramp and discovered that I had left the ignition key at home. So much for that day sail. The kind man at the ramp felt so sorry for us that he refunded our 5 bucks launching fee.

 

[Pirate]

List is too long ...

Where to start ..?Hitting the San Mateo bridge ... hitting the Bay Bridge ... running aground countless times in Redwood Creek ... How about moving the boat from Redwood City to Antioch and taking a detour so my Dad could see White Slough ... turned the corner in the Sacramento River channel, Dad was driving ... I didn't check the compass bearing ... sailed into a basin on a falling tide ... saw that I had run the batteries down since I forgot to switch from "Both" when I shut the engine off ... called Vessel Assist ... VA tried to tow us out OVER a sand bank ... spent the night hard aground ... VA didn't show up for the next high tide as agreed ... spent the rest of the day high and dry ... had the Coasties take my crew off that afternoon (Dad was out of meds) ... VA didn't show for the next high tide ... the anchor rode chafed through and set the boat toward a rocky shore ... tossed the lunch hook out as a last resort ... managed to use the tide, current and wind to bounce the boat over the sand bar ... set the jib and sailed the damn boat off and into the marina ...29 hours aground ... 1 bent rudder ... two lost anchors ... lesson learnt: double check the helmsman ... even if he's ex-Navy and your father.

 

[Anonymous]

How does one hit a 20,000 pound red can buoy...

on a clear sunny day doing seven knots on a starboard beam reach, and this was after doing several bow sweeps, in the middle of the Strait of Georgia no less? My story (and I'm sticking with it), the buoy was submerged and popped up just before I smacked it dead on with our 25,000 pound boat, just like those submerged sonar release mines of WWII.A

 

[alex jomarron]

will it go round circles

I have 2 sad to say. Both occurred last season, my first as a sailor.My wife and I were completing a Lake Michigan crossing at night and I saw the ferris wheel at Navy Pier and used it as my bearing. I placed a waypoint for the middle of the channel on the my GPS. As I was approaching, my wife said shouldn't we be heading to port? I said, no this appears to be the way, questioning the accuracy of my waypoint. When I saw the upper half of a dinner ship I realized I was heading for the breakwater. With 50' to spare I gybed and followed the GPS. My wife loves to remind me of that. 2nd was my first attempt to singlehand. Everything went fine until I came up to the mooring bouy to end my adventure. I came up to it and thought I put the tranny into neutral. I went forward to secure the bowline and to my amazement the boat began a slow arc approaching another boat. I went to the cockpit and put the boat into nuetral narrowly missing brushing my mooring neighbor's boat. That's been a secret until now.......

 

[G.F.Kellor]

Wilderness 'mis' adventure

It was last Oct 27th. Hadn't been to our 'favorite' mountain lake all summer. The weather report was for another week of 70 degree temperatures. Thought: "Well, it's my last chance this year, I better go while the gittin is good." Threw the camp gear in the wagon and hooked the boat and trailer to the hitch. 4 hours later I was at the ramp! Total isolation! Perfect! NOBODY around. The campgrounds had been closed for weeks... The lake is at an elevation of 5414 ft. above sea level, one of the three purest lakes in the world and is designated wilderness on the north, west and south sides, and the second largest natural lake in the state. It wasn't the first time I was the only person on the lake. Had a nice sail to a cove at the north end of the lake and spent the night there. The next day I sailed to an island at the south end of the lake... Spent the night on the small, somewhat sheltered beach on the island. That night, 'old man winter' began to practice for his seasonal performance....wild blowing that I thought would rip the boom tent from the boat. All night, with rain and sleet. Woke up to ice on everything and the lake socked in with clouds! Walked to the north end of the island to see what the lake looked like in the direction I'd have to go to get back to the ramp. Socked in! Should I wait out the storm?? Violated the second law of wilderness travel; stepped ON something I should have stepped over or around. First law, don't go alone in wilderness.Slipped and dislocated my left arm at the elbow. Now what? Don't know how much damage. Pulled it back in joint, wouldn't stay, something wrong. Gotta get out of there. Go back to boat. All lines, everything frozen. Manage to pack up gear and stow away. Massage all knots and lines so they will work.. turn boat into wind, raise sail push off and drop CB and rudder. Manage to hold tiller with bungee stretched across cockpit (crude tiller/tamer) sit on main sheet while adjusting tiller...and sail into clouds heading north. Don't know when to turn NE to ramp. Then clouds break just enough to recognize mountain landmark and turn toward it. Get out into lake to catch more wind and let sail out all the way. Riding swells and surfing down and plowing thru next one with bow and deck totally submerged....cold and wet. Came out of clouds 100 yds from jetty at the ramp! What luck!.. Fun getting boat on trailer and mast down with only one arm. Drove home, unloaded, drove to hospital, xrays showed bicep torn from lower arm bone. Required surgery following day....still recovering. Dr. and therapist recommended that I don't snowboard this winter.... if I'm obedient, I might be able to sail next summer.