Methods of measuring keel depth
Dear sailor: If you are looking at a vessel which is currently in the water, there are many methods of accurately calculating the vessel's draft without having to bear the expense of having the vessel hauled. 1. Obtain surplus trained Navy dolphins, and train them to read measuring tapes. 2. Obtain measuring tapes that are rust proof! 3. Moor the boat in water marked on your chart as being 4.0' mean low water. Live on the boat for a month, marking the times when the keel touches bottom. Repeat for 3.5' charted depths and so on until you have ascertained your keel's depth. 4. Sail the boat in a hurricane under all sails, and when the boat is turtled over, crawl up on the overturned hull and measure the height of the keel to the marked waterline. 5. Attach a skyhook to the top of your mast and as a blimp passes over, fish the skyhook to the blimp's landing wheel. As thje blimp's foward intertia hauls your vessel over onto her beam ends, quickly lean over and measure how far the keel extends below the hull before your vessel sinks. 6. Hang bait off the side of your vessel and observe the movements of the fish to determine how they are swimming in and under the hull. Depending on the species of fish and the prevailing tides, water temperature, salinity, and phase of the moon, your calculations will give you an answer to a accuracy of 5%, give or take 95%. 6. Hire a consulting firm to interview every sailor in the lower 48 States and filter out those persons who own vessels matching yours. 7. Finally - consult your local window dealer. Life's short, and humor is dessert to life's dinner! Good Luck. Captain Nauticator
