Discrestion is...

kloudie1 · Mar 19, 2012

Indeed I have, Ken.. but it took a while for me to develop that wisdom.. Mostly the problem is cleaning up after sea-sickness.. everyone is usually fine but a nubie gets kinda torqued up by the conditions and the heeling and stuff...

Rob2435 · Mar 19, 2012

Saying "No" is one of the hardest things I have to do on my boat. I fight the decision every time and a few times I should have stuck with my original gut feeling and said "NO".

Winkfish · Mar 19, 2012

Better to have regretted not having gone out than to have regretted going out.

06HARLEYULTRA · Mar 19, 2012

Stick with your "gut". If your not feeling it...don't go. I do the same with motorcycling.
I think Kloudie1 nailed it....Wisdom.

Bob J. · Mar 19, 2012

Ya know, I spent years going out fishing in conditions that sane people would have stayed home. Many times up in the tower when the waves were at eye level I muttered the words WTF.

When I took a keel boat course, the last day it was basicly gale conditions. We were on the boat for 3 hours reviewing stuff & taking tests. The instructor had a lot of real blue water experince & said if ya'll want to go out to complete the course, we'll go BUT in conditions like this it's not about fun, it's about survival.

Thinking back about that statement those where some real words of wisdom. We declined to go out & a couple of weeks later had a great day sailing around Boston Harbor. With the stuff I've run into offshore fishing most of my adult life, I now understand why sailboats stay put put when the flags are starched. So don't ever feel sorry about going out in questionable conditions.

LuzSD · Mar 19, 2012

My captain and I used to push ourselves thinking we were always on the edge of wimping out....... either going out when maybe we were questioning our wisdom, or just going with a main....that type thing..........but almost each and every time we had a discussion about our concerns, we got into trouble when we did not heed our instincts. For the past couple years now.....if either feels we should rethink, we do. And, always start conservative. We might be listening too hard to that inner voice but its a lot easier to ramp up than to ramp down. This includes telling friends we are doing drinks and lunch instead of sailing!

kenn · Mar 19, 2012

kpgraci said:
Anyone [ever] tell your guests 'No'. Easy in a gale, but what about conditions that are challenging but OK and you're just not feeling it?

Small boat or not, you're the captain, and the safety of your passengers/crew is in your hands. If your gut says no, that's the call. No need for agonizing over it.

I'm happy to report that the situations that made me nervous a few years ago are now within my comfort zone.

Tom J · Mar 19, 2012

Nothing wrong with hanging out in the cockpit for lunch and a beer. Maybe anchor out somewhere nearby. A sail should first of all be fun, especially if your guests aren't sailors. A well-meaning guest can get in the way when all hell starts to break loose. And we want their experience to be a good one, right?

Ray Bowles · Mar 19, 2012

A corralation to your dilemma is "when you first think about reefing is the time to reef." If you think, for whatever reason, you are not up to going out you probably should not.
Yes, I have cancelled the party for guests before. I really did not want one of their first adventures on a sailboat to be a life and death question in their mind. When we had our IP38 it was a different choice altogether.
Ray

Benny17441 · Mar 19, 2012

I would not want to spoil the sailing experience for a first timer. If the person is not a sailor he will take your word for it that conditions are not good if you say so. It is wise choice not to go if you feel the boat may require your full attention as having to take care of the boat and a sick crewman at the same time may prove a disaster. We like to go out on brisk weather days just to practice, hone our skills and maintain self confidence.

Joe · Mar 20, 2012

Absolutely.......... If it looks like the conditions may scare my guests .... then the trip is cancelled.

I can't guarantee they'll like sailing and have a great time, or promise they won't get seasick, but scaring the crap out of an innocent person who trusts your judgement is just bad Karma.....

Here's an example of choosing to avoid the fear factor ....I invited Sumner and Ruth to go sailing in the ocean for their first time. This was few years back and we had been planning the outing for months, they had to postpone once already.... so we felt compelled to try going out when we finally hooked up.... But wind and waves were a little too strong that day.... Ruth was very uncomfortable...and rather than have an unpleasant experience that might do damage to a new sailor's confidence.... I chose to turn back and enjoy their company in the marina and later at dinner..... One of my better decisions... look what they've done since then!

And here's the kind of thing you have absolutely no control over:

A number of years ago a gal I was dating brought a couple who were visiting her from Germany down to the boat for an afternoon of sailing. The guy was a photographer, his wife, a veteran FLIGHT ATTENDANT for Luftansa...... you know, long trans oceanic flights, based in exotic locales like India and Singapore..... Anyway, it was a warm, sunny day with light winds and a perfecly calm sea.... Perfect! but NO! Can you guess who got so seasick that within a half hour we ended the sail and turned for home? You're right, the world travelling flight attendant...... go figure. What happened later... we stopped dating but stayed friends..... later on she married a guy with a Swan 46 and asked me if I'd like to crew......... I jokingly asked her if she wanted me to wear a white jacket when I served the drinks (I was a bartender at the time) and I guess she didn't think it was funny (germans have no sense of humor) so.... there went my chance to sail on a Swan.

Sailm8 · Mar 20, 2012

Had a member of marina take his new wife out for a first sail. The conditions were far from optimal and many more experienced sailors never went out. Bottom line hi scared her so bad she never came back. He is now on wife #3.

I'm proud of the fact that my wife and I have been able to introduce several people to sailing who have gone on to own their own boats. We sailed in ideal conditions and had wonderful times. We call it the "fun factor". If either of us is not having fun, it's time to go home or stay in.

Bill1565 · Mar 20, 2012

I'm with Frank, If it's not fun, no need to do it. Life is short

Crazy Dave Condon · Mar 20, 2012

When I first started selling sailboats, I had a sailor from heck who brought his bride with him. I was causious as the weather was deterioratiing but he advised he sailed offshore in heavy seas. He heeled way over thinking this was the way to sail by getting the main into the water. Needless to say he scared the blank blank out of his wife who became sick and scared. I told him not to do that again. Did he listen, no.

I took the tiller over from him furling the jib in and then dropping the main. He advised he would not buy the boat. Nothing was said until we got back to the dock. After tying offl, he was told I would never sell a boat to him as he did not demonstrate safety. Further, he barked at his wife and she started crying. At that point, I had it with him and blessed him out for putting his wife in harms way and I would nolt be surpised his wife divorced him. I walked away to finish closing the boat and going home.

Several years later, I meant that same couple. I was surprised he walked over and apologized. My blessing out made him think what he ahd done and changed. They were a happy couple with a small baby and asked what I would suggest in way of a sailboat which his wife had recondsidered. Although we became long time friends, the decision rests with the skipper for the safety of the crew and friends. If the weather is not pleasant to go out, stick with what the most are staying. Say no to going out in rough seas.