Good thread. Fun comments.
Go big or go home is definitely netting the choice to go big. After all, we wouldn't have earned the right to own the boat in the first place (and have that pretty thing w tan lines lying on the bow) if we were the kind to go big. So here goes....
Here's my take, based on a few patterns in the suggestions so far:
1) "Power up the sails to punch through chop". Here some folks have recommended "loosening" sails. Seems to really be saying increase in draft to create more drive. Common at lower speed and winds with chop, this is equivalent to using low gear in the mud: Loosen outhaul, move jib car forward, loosen backstay. This is the wrong strategy with mounting winds. We are going to power through that chop w speed and momentum, not drive. Using low gear will reduce hull speed and increase heel. Wife will be decidedly unhappy! If you chose this you should have gone home and bought a 4x4.
2) Reduce heel to improve performance (and comfort. Here we seem to be debating reefing and/furling or switching to smaller sail. Ie: reducing sail area. Some folks have also suggested falling off to a reach. All good here. Any more than 20 deg heel and we are spinning our wheels, and if we can tackle the route w a more favorable point of sail (more speed for same deg of heel), we're winning. We can even make a show of reducing sail and changing course as a response to the conditions to prove to the wife we have her comfort and safety at heart. Brownie points earned. Unless of course we make her help with/do the sail change or reef. Some guys just never learn.
3) Flatten sails to increase speed. A different version of "powering up to punch through chop", but using speed instead of drive. Good move. Recommendations here focus on blading out the sails: Moving jib car back, tightening outhaul, halyard and backstay. Can use these tactics in combination w #2 above. By she won't notice these, just see us grunting as we haul on ropes while she holds our beer. Maybe our manly grunts will impress her. Downside is we are going faster, which she may or may not like. Would be a shame to waste all that grunting. Course it's the right thing to do (a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do) and helps reduce heel (more brownie points).
4) Spill wind. "If in doubt let it out" is a great rule, except when deployed in pursuit of a lubberly outcome. Flapping anything never impressed the wife.
5) Twist (not directly mentioned). Someone incorrectly suggested moving the traveller to windward. You zigged when you should have zagged and caught a bullet there sailor (but don't worry, she won't notice your mistake). Leward if you please Mr. Zag in mounting winds. Unless... You are trying to increase twist, by also sheeting out, which can be helpful in spilling wind off the top of the main, but only if you keep the vang loose, otherwise your just luffing the main since if the boom can't rise, you won't get twist. Same goes for the jib: jib car full back, slight ease of the sheet, loosens the upper leech. Course you'll be impressing yourself with fancy sail trim, and she won't notice at all, just that your geeking out on your "other girl", instead of keeping her happy cracking jokes and telling her how hot she looks w sea spray on her as you bury the rail.
Bottom line gentlemen: If you go big, with high value passengers on board, just remember: If she feels sexy you score. If she feels comfortable you win. If she feels safe you're home free. Adjust your sails accordingly.
