Hello all, I am hoping to receive some shared opinions regarding the following.. My wife and I are in our early 40's. We have two kids that we homeschool. Do you think it wise to go cruising for 4-5 years now with the cash we have? or to wait till we are financially independent? If we go on an extended cruise now, when and if we come back we would be starting over. If we wait for retirement that day may never come, at least not while we are still agile..In about 9 years the kids will probably be on thier own, but I think it mabe hard for me to "abandon" them at that point as they would probably still benefit with some "help" from us.. Opinions???
Cruising Now or Later
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Go now!
I have a couple of reasons you should go now. Go while the kids are young and still like to be around you guys. As they get older ie. teens they do not like to be around mom and dad very much unless your handing out money. The kids start costing alot as they get older and need cars, gas and insurance, date money, prom dresses then you can't afford to go. In my case my 14 year old son was normal one day and then the next day he came down with a rare blood disorder and died after spending 8 months in the hospital under going a bone marrow transplant. His hospital bills were almost $1 million dollors and we had a 1/2 million limit. Now I am starting all over financialy. We have another son that is a senior in HS and we plan on going in a couple of years when we get the kitty up.
I have a couple of reasons you should go now. Go while the kids are young and still like to be around you guys. As they get older ie. teens they do not like to be around mom and dad very much unless your handing out money. The kids start costing alot as they get older and need cars, gas and insurance, date money, prom dresses then you can't afford to go. In my case my 14 year old son was normal one day and then the next day he came down with a rare blood disorder and died after spending 8 months in the hospital under going a bone marrow transplant. His hospital bills were almost $1 million dollors and we had a 1/2 million limit. Now I am starting all over financialy. We have another son that is a senior in HS and we plan on going in a couple of years when we get the kitty up.
Never a Good time
There is never a good time to go cruising. There will always be good reasons not to go!!!! You will never have the perfect boat and you will never have enough money. If you raise the kids they will need help with school or the grandkids. If you have enough desire, now is the time to go. If you have less desire it can wait. Your call. tom
There is never a good time to go cruising. There will always be good reasons not to go!!!! You will never have the perfect boat and you will never have enough money. If you raise the kids they will need help with school or the grandkids. If you have enough desire, now is the time to go. If you have less desire it can wait. Your call. tom
Not never just excuses
Make the decsion to go if that is what you want. Many cruise with kids. The comment that it is never a good time is just an excuse. The decsion must be made to go or not, but once it is made make the best of it. You can alway change your mind if it is not right for you. But putting it off may create a missed opportunity. We have a crusing friend who raised thier daughter onboard. 16 years she never lived in a house. She will be entering college as a 17 year old. She had awesome exposure to the world, learned more, and is actually ahead of her land based peers. It can be done and is rewarding. We love the life style and will continue. We have to go back after 3 years to replenish the kitty and out we go again. It is an experince of a life time that just cn't be bought in 2weeks a year with a credit card. We meet people, see things, and do things that vacationers just can't even imagine.
Make the decsion to go if that is what you want. Many cruise with kids. The comment that it is never a good time is just an excuse. The decsion must be made to go or not, but once it is made make the best of it. You can alway change your mind if it is not right for you. But putting it off may create a missed opportunity. We have a crusing friend who raised thier daughter onboard. 16 years she never lived in a house. She will be entering college as a 17 year old. She had awesome exposure to the world, learned more, and is actually ahead of her land based peers. It can be done and is rewarding. We love the life style and will continue. We have to go back after 3 years to replenish the kitty and out we go again. It is an experince of a life time that just cn't be bought in 2weeks a year with a credit card. We meet people, see things, and do things that vacationers just can't even imagine.
Listen to the Rhyme
On an ancient wall in China Where a brooding Buddha blinks, Deeply graven is the message, "It's later than you think." The clock of life is wound but once And no one has the power To know just when the hands will stop At late or early hour. Now is all the time we have The past a golden link. Go cruising now my brother/sister It's later than you think. Anonymous Gary Wyngarden S/V Wanderlust h37.5
On an ancient wall in China Where a brooding Buddha blinks, Deeply graven is the message, "It's later than you think." The clock of life is wound but once And no one has the power To know just when the hands will stop At late or early hour. Now is all the time we have The past a golden link. Go cruising now my brother/sister It's later than you think. Anonymous Gary Wyngarden S/V Wanderlust h37.5
Just do it.
Go Dave. 2-3 years will make little difference in your financial lives (leave some money in your 401 K or the stock market) but it will make all the difference in your relationship with your children, now and in the future. I do not speak from experience but from a desire to have done just what you are contemplating, but put off "until financially able" My daughter is in a career of her own now, my wife and I are 70 and will always regret that missed opportunity. We still sail but nothing that strenuous.
Go Dave. 2-3 years will make little difference in your financial lives (leave some money in your 401 K or the stock market) but it will make all the difference in your relationship with your children, now and in the future. I do not speak from experience but from a desire to have done just what you are contemplating, but put off "until financially able" My daughter is in a career of her own now, my wife and I are 70 and will always regret that missed opportunity. We still sail but nothing that strenuous.
Its all about PRIORITIES...
Keeping in mind SAFETY, FAMILY VALUES, SACRED VALUES, and a chance to BUILD some GREAT FAMILY MEMORIES...the venture sounds GOOD if the afore mentioned ingredients are covered, and everyone VOTES yes. Happy Sailing !!
Keeping in mind SAFETY, FAMILY VALUES, SACRED VALUES, and a chance to BUILD some GREAT FAMILY MEMORIES...the venture sounds GOOD if the afore mentioned ingredients are covered, and everyone VOTES yes. Happy Sailing !!
Me too...
I am in the same quandry. I am mid-career with lots of upward mobility. Leaving now would take me off track and once you hit 50 it is really hard to jump back on. Especially if you are in a quickly evolving and changing field. And who knows what there health will be in 10-15 years? A question that I keep asking myself and is changing my perception is whether when the day comes that I am laying on my death bed my thoughts will be of regret for not becoming more successful and financially secure or will my thoughts be regret because I waited and never went out into the real world on my sailboat??? Boy is that a tough one. Especially because, like you, I have a son who I want to provide for. Although no one ever gave me anything and hopefully I am raising a person who is capable of providing for himself. Maybe I will see you out there...I hope so.
I am in the same quandry. I am mid-career with lots of upward mobility. Leaving now would take me off track and once you hit 50 it is really hard to jump back on. Especially if you are in a quickly evolving and changing field. And who knows what there health will be in 10-15 years? A question that I keep asking myself and is changing my perception is whether when the day comes that I am laying on my death bed my thoughts will be of regret for not becoming more successful and financially secure or will my thoughts be regret because I waited and never went out into the real world on my sailboat??? Boy is that a tough one. Especially because, like you, I have a son who I want to provide for. Although no one ever gave me anything and hopefully I am raising a person who is capable of providing for himself. Maybe I will see you out there...I hope so.
Another Thought
Let's see! Forty, Children...What about college! I realing from yet another college bill. My choice is to get my daughter out of school, pay for a wedding, buy a boat, and say to heck with it all. I may have to cruise on a megar budget, but it will be doable in my early 50s. My vote is to be responsible first! Tell the Kidos...no inheritance...I would rather feed the sharks or die in hurricane Zulu, than in a hospital bed. I am forty-eight, counting down 1,459 days, everything is paid for, all I am counting on is keeping my health, everything in on schedule! As of now, I just keep sailing and enjoying life. David
Let's see! Forty, Children...What about college! I realing from yet another college bill. My choice is to get my daughter out of school, pay for a wedding, buy a boat, and say to heck with it all. I may have to cruise on a megar budget, but it will be doable in my early 50s. My vote is to be responsible first! Tell the Kidos...no inheritance...I would rather feed the sharks or die in hurricane Zulu, than in a hospital bed. I am forty-eight, counting down 1,459 days, everything is paid for, all I am counting on is keeping my health, everything in on schedule! As of now, I just keep sailing and enjoying life. David
Same boat here
I'm 37...and with my current lifestyle I don't have a chance to go for about 10 years and who knows what tie-downs I will have then. I'm considering making drastic changes. I have two options to take if I make these changes: 1) Save until Nov and then go for a year by myself to get a feel for it and then come back and start over in getting a kitty again if I want to continue. 2) Save for two years straight and then go for good while I look for a girl who wants to go with. I almost made the decision last weekend but have decided to wait another month. All week though I've been second guessing the wait to decide. The thing that makes it hard for me is it takes very drastic changes to be able to go soon because of my poor decisions in the past.
I'm 37...and with my current lifestyle I don't have a chance to go for about 10 years and who knows what tie-downs I will have then. I'm considering making drastic changes. I have two options to take if I make these changes: 1) Save until Nov and then go for a year by myself to get a feel for it and then come back and start over in getting a kitty again if I want to continue. 2) Save for two years straight and then go for good while I look for a girl who wants to go with. I almost made the decision last weekend but have decided to wait another month. All week though I've been second guessing the wait to decide. The thing that makes it hard for me is it takes very drastic changes to be able to go soon because of my poor decisions in the past.
It's in here.
The answer I mean, it is in the previous posts. Especially "tyhall's" and Louis'. No one can tell you in other words. You have to make the decision based on your very unique situation. My heart goes out to "tyhall". Like his son my First Mate was diagnosed with a blood disorder. This just ten months after retirement. And the fall before the spring when we were going to leave Lake Erie on our H37C. But we still had a nice sailing season. We put a small daysailer on a lake close to the house. We actually sailed more than ever, about three times a week. And we cherished every single outing. Cruising was a dream but for me it is really about time with the family on the water.
The answer I mean, it is in the previous posts. Especially "tyhall's" and Louis'. No one can tell you in other words. You have to make the decision based on your very unique situation. My heart goes out to "tyhall". Like his son my First Mate was diagnosed with a blood disorder. This just ten months after retirement. And the fall before the spring when we were going to leave Lake Erie on our H37C. But we still had a nice sailing season. We put a small daysailer on a lake close to the house. We actually sailed more than ever, about three times a week. And we cherished every single outing. Cruising was a dream but for me it is really about time with the family on the water.
Has anyone read the books "Live Rich
fascinating reads, culmination is that the last cheque that should be written on your bank account is for your funeral... and it should bounce. Largely financial planning and action books but also a good bit of philosophy as well Good reads, both of them D.
fascinating reads, culmination is that the last cheque that should be written on your bank account is for your funeral... and it should bounce. Largely financial planning and action books but also a good bit of philosophy as well Good reads, both of them D.
Live your dream
Dave, Very wise advice in these replies. My two cents is to go and never look back. You can home school the kids on the boat so their education will not suffer. And they will have memories that will last a life time. You and your spouse will also have the chance to grow closer and have experiences that most others can't comprehend. The self confidence and self reliance you and your children will develop will only help out in any future endeavors. My wife and I desperately want to cruise but I have a son and he will graduate from high school in June ’06. As soon as I get him settled in college, we’re out of here. Corporate America will be here when you get back ….. Allan s/v Carrousail
Dave, Very wise advice in these replies. My two cents is to go and never look back. You can home school the kids on the boat so their education will not suffer. And they will have memories that will last a life time. You and your spouse will also have the chance to grow closer and have experiences that most others can't comprehend. The self confidence and self reliance you and your children will develop will only help out in any future endeavors. My wife and I desperately want to cruise but I have a son and he will graduate from high school in June ’06. As soon as I get him settled in college, we’re out of here. Corporate America will be here when you get back ….. Allan s/v Carrousail
It doesn't have to be EITHER - OR
Dave, start (or continue) doing & adding to it! We've been married 39+ years & have 4 kids and have been through 4 RV's, 1 cabin at Tahoe and 13 boats from 10' to 43'. Had to buy small & beat-up, then fixed up, sold & got bigger & beat-up, etc-etc. We had lots ot 2 & 3 week vacations and once a 2 1/2 month trip around the country with all of us in a 22' winnabago. We have chartered, raced 22 to 25 footers, crewed on the Baja Ha Ha for experience and are now getting ready for two weddings in the spring while we finish outfitting our 'new to us' 43ft and will take off this summer after the 2nd wedding. Louis (and others allready said it) It's YOUR priority, whatever you do! Briarpatch said 70 is too old, hope not 'cause this summer I'll be 68, but in the meantime we've had a ball on not too much money, made a lot of memories for us & the kids. David from Texas sounds good to me, be reasonable & responsible AND GO do what you want while you are getting the ducks in a row to take off. We figure one of the costs in cruising will be the airplane tickets home for a "fix" with friends & kids & grandkids. SEE YOU IN MEXICO!
Dave, start (or continue) doing & adding to it! We've been married 39+ years & have 4 kids and have been through 4 RV's, 1 cabin at Tahoe and 13 boats from 10' to 43'. Had to buy small & beat-up, then fixed up, sold & got bigger & beat-up, etc-etc. We had lots ot 2 & 3 week vacations and once a 2 1/2 month trip around the country with all of us in a 22' winnabago. We have chartered, raced 22 to 25 footers, crewed on the Baja Ha Ha for experience and are now getting ready for two weddings in the spring while we finish outfitting our 'new to us' 43ft and will take off this summer after the 2nd wedding. Louis (and others allready said it) It's YOUR priority, whatever you do! Briarpatch said 70 is too old, hope not 'cause this summer I'll be 68, but in the meantime we've had a ball on not too much money, made a lot of memories for us & the kids. David from Texas sounds good to me, be reasonable & responsible AND GO do what you want while you are getting the ducks in a row to take off. We figure one of the costs in cruising will be the airplane tickets home for a "fix" with friends & kids & grandkids. SEE YOU IN MEXICO!
Do it now....
I've never met a couple with children cruising who were not having the time of their life, and whose children were not growing into interesting competent educated adults. (There must be an exception, but they weren't on the Pacific Coast of Mexico when I was there). Most were sailing on a tight budget, aiming for from two to four years before returning to "normal" life. My wife and I did not do it, planning to wait for an early retirement. It came and a family emergency has us on the beach (I hope, temporarily). I can't suggest what is best for you, but this may be the perfect time. Carpe diem. And good luck with the decision. Sanders
I've never met a couple with children cruising who were not having the time of their life, and whose children were not growing into interesting competent educated adults. (There must be an exception, but they weren't on the Pacific Coast of Mexico when I was there). Most were sailing on a tight budget, aiming for from two to four years before returning to "normal" life. My wife and I did not do it, planning to wait for an early retirement. It came and a family emergency has us on the beach (I hope, temporarily). I can't suggest what is best for you, but this may be the perfect time. Carpe diem. And good luck with the decision. Sanders
Making a Change
Not sure who to attribute it to, but a quote I like is "Courage is the ability to change direction, into the unknown." Most of my regrets are the "roads not taken," not the things I took a chance on. We all need to satisfy our own needs for security, but the older I grow, the more I believe chasing the money thing is overrated. Perhaps a bit self indulgent coming from someone with his share of material blessings.
Not sure who to attribute it to, but a quote I like is "Courage is the ability to change direction, into the unknown." Most of my regrets are the "roads not taken," not the things I took a chance on. We all need to satisfy our own needs for security, but the older I grow, the more I believe chasing the money thing is overrated. Perhaps a bit self indulgent coming from someone with his share of material blessings.
Your Kids should be your priority
I bought my first family size sailboat two months ago (a Catalina 34 Mk II), I'm 62 (retired) and my wife is 55. We have kids ages: 36, 34, 23 and 17. I personally didn't think it was fair to ask my kids to be confined on a sailboat sailing for 6 to 10 hours a day when they were young. (Note: My 17 year old is gone all summer with a Drum & Bugle Corps.) If you are planning on helping your kids thru college, it's very expensive. My first two cost; just for tuition and room and board no books or spending money in the early 90's was $54,000. These were state university cost. My 3rd one costs me $50,000. also a state university, and he graduated in 2004. My last one will cost more if she goes 4 years like the others. In my opinion, you started a family, your family should come first. Maybe its going sailing for 3 to 4 years, or maybe its giving your kids the education they may not be able afford without your help. (All my kids were National Honor Society students.) Only you know what is best for your family.
I bought my first family size sailboat two months ago (a Catalina 34 Mk II), I'm 62 (retired) and my wife is 55. We have kids ages: 36, 34, 23 and 17. I personally didn't think it was fair to ask my kids to be confined on a sailboat sailing for 6 to 10 hours a day when they were young. (Note: My 17 year old is gone all summer with a Drum & Bugle Corps.) If you are planning on helping your kids thru college, it's very expensive. My first two cost; just for tuition and room and board no books or spending money in the early 90's was $54,000. These were state university cost. My 3rd one costs me $50,000. also a state university, and he graduated in 2004. My last one will cost more if she goes 4 years like the others. In my opinion, you started a family, your family should come first. Maybe its going sailing for 3 to 4 years, or maybe its giving your kids the education they may not be able afford without your help. (All my kids were National Honor Society students.) Only you know what is best for your family.
It's a personal decision.
I don't think to many people love sailing more than I do but I have reached the conclusion that I do not want to travel the world by sailboat nor permanently live on one. A nice anchorage or spectacular sundown can be enjoyed just as well 10 miles from home just as well as 2000 miles away. It is a personal decision and I would suggest you come up with your 10 best reasons to go sailing for 5 years and your 10 best reasons why you should not do it. then grade each one from 1 to 5 and add the points. Once you have decided wether to go or not, then repeat the exercise for whether to do it now or wait till latter in life. Be honest with yourself and you will be happy with the results. What we do is trailer a 23 feet boat to a choice sailing venue every year for 10-14 days. We have done Long Island sound, Chesapeake Bay, Outer Banks and the Okeechobee waterway. On our plans are Lake Erie and the Ten-Tom Waterway down to Mobile, Alabama. We also have a keel boat which we sail down to the Keys, the Dry Tortugas, the Bahamas as well as the east and west coast of Florida. You can also charter boats in the Caribbean. Have also sailed the Virgin Islands and Puerto Rico. We feel we enjoy the best aspects of sailing without having to do long passages, dealing with foul weather at sea, rationing supplies, water and electric power and living in restricted quarters. But like I said it is a personal decision in which you need to involve your wife and your kids depending on their age. Good luck.
I don't think to many people love sailing more than I do but I have reached the conclusion that I do not want to travel the world by sailboat nor permanently live on one. A nice anchorage or spectacular sundown can be enjoyed just as well 10 miles from home just as well as 2000 miles away. It is a personal decision and I would suggest you come up with your 10 best reasons to go sailing for 5 years and your 10 best reasons why you should not do it. then grade each one from 1 to 5 and add the points. Once you have decided wether to go or not, then repeat the exercise for whether to do it now or wait till latter in life. Be honest with yourself and you will be happy with the results. What we do is trailer a 23 feet boat to a choice sailing venue every year for 10-14 days. We have done Long Island sound, Chesapeake Bay, Outer Banks and the Okeechobee waterway. On our plans are Lake Erie and the Ten-Tom Waterway down to Mobile, Alabama. We also have a keel boat which we sail down to the Keys, the Dry Tortugas, the Bahamas as well as the east and west coast of Florida. You can also charter boats in the Caribbean. Have also sailed the Virgin Islands and Puerto Rico. We feel we enjoy the best aspects of sailing without having to do long passages, dealing with foul weather at sea, rationing supplies, water and electric power and living in restricted quarters. But like I said it is a personal decision in which you need to involve your wife and your kids depending on their age. Good luck.
Leaving it all
I took that wonderful sailor's advice.Sterling Hayden said do it as soon as possible or the rat race will eat you up.My wife and I built a Piver Tri and left LA heading for the Canal in 1969.Daughter celebrated her 5th birthday half way across the Sea of Cortez.I sometimes remark to my wife that it was my folly but I was so obsessed and driven that I could not have stopped if I wished to.Being the wise woman that she is is,she simply says I had to do it,end of conversation.Still remember vividly those days of broad reaching at 18 knts as though to a waltz beat.Fair winds and smooth seas to all!!
I took that wonderful sailor's advice.Sterling Hayden said do it as soon as possible or the rat race will eat you up.My wife and I built a Piver Tri and left LA heading for the Canal in 1969.Daughter celebrated her 5th birthday half way across the Sea of Cortez.I sometimes remark to my wife that it was my folly but I was so obsessed and driven that I could not have stopped if I wished to.Being the wise woman that she is is,she simply says I had to do it,end of conversation.Still remember vividly those days of broad reaching at 18 knts as though to a waltz beat.Fair winds and smooth seas to all!!
Cruising with Children
Read the book "All in the same boat" by Tom Neale. He and his wife discussed at length the live-aboard with children lifestyle. They had two girls born while they were live-aboards until they went off to college. Make sure you read the 2nd edition as it has a follow-up on both children after they went to school. Personally, if my parents had told me now (I'm 41), "when you were 10, we were thinking about buying a big sailboat and going over the horizon to see parts of the world while we home-schooled you aboard," my response would have been "well, why the hell didn't you do it?". My wife and I are currently having the exact same discussion. Good luck.
Read the book "All in the same boat" by Tom Neale. He and his wife discussed at length the live-aboard with children lifestyle. They had two girls born while they were live-aboards until they went off to college. Make sure you read the 2nd edition as it has a follow-up on both children after they went to school. Personally, if my parents had told me now (I'm 41), "when you were 10, we were thinking about buying a big sailboat and going over the horizon to see parts of the world while we home-schooled you aboard," my response would have been "well, why the hell didn't you do it?". My wife and I are currently having the exact same discussion. Good luck.
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