Can't smell the roses??

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Don Bodemann

Can’t smell the Rose? Have you ever asked yourself “What the heck am I doing this for?”? Perhaps you found yourself on a 3 day cruise or 3 weeks, months, years, whatever and realized you were miserable. Maybe everything seemed to be going wrong starting with the weather, and followed by multiple equipment failures. The final blow could be a good case of seasickness. Sometimes we wait all winter long anticipating the most wonderful vacation and when we finally get there, we find the discomforts of living on a small boat sneak up and make us miserable. Sometimes the stress of trying to maintain a packed schedule or trying to cover too much ground (water) in a given period of time can turn a dream vacation into a living nightmare. There is so much to love about sailing and owning a sailboat and so much potential for wonderful rich times on the water and yet many of us “miss the boat”, again and again. We read about the Pardeys or the Mummahs, who live “the dream” on a shoe string budget (at least in the Pardys case) and say to our selves “if they can do it on a shoe string, we should be able to do something similar… at least for a vacation…. right?” For many of us, this elusive “utopia” taunts us year after year. Some give up and buy a Winnebago, while some of the more stubborn types, keep at it. Perhaps this is where the “wenching, and groging” came in. :) Some folks wonder if it is actually possible to get it right before they’re too old to sail? I've confessed to my wife that I have a love, hate, relationship with our boat. Cheryl and I are into our 6th year of sailing and only on some occasions, have we truly enjoyed ourselves. The memory of these those special times is what keeps me keeping on. We have tasted victory, when nature paints a picture that words can’t describe…(and for some reason my 35 millimeter camera can’t seem to capture). When we have felt our souls rejoice at the wonder of creation and the romance that can pervade the sailing experience. The exhilaration we experienced as our beloved "Ursula" plowed through seven-foot rollers in the Atlantic will be remembered fondly. Many of the unplanned lazy weekends on the boat turned out to be wonderful. Even crummy weather has not been able to ruin some of these special times. This past July 4th was just such a weekend. Cloudy skies that threatened to storm followed us up the river. We picked a spot in a quiet cove where we thought we could view some fireworks. As the afternoon passed, more and more boats came and anchored in the now, not so quiet cove (I always enjoy watching other folks anchor, don’t you?). Around 4 o’clock it started to rain. For some reason this didn’t bother us much, as we already figured the day was a waste. I deployed the cockpit tent, grabbed a good book and a cup of “Joe” and settled into the cockpit to relax. Some pleasant folks dingyed by and offered to take a picture of our boat, to which we gratefully accepted. I started to notice all kinds of wonderful smells coming from many of the anchored boats. This made me aware of the one tactical error on our part…we should have brought the grill. Instead we ate munchies and cold sandwiches. I told Cheryl I felt like I was in the parking lot of Giant stadium before a game and this was one big “tailgate party”. A little later, a live band cranked up at one of the coastal homes. The fireworks finally came and I started to realize, this is what it’s all about. We had a magical evening that I will try to repeat. The problem is we can’t seem to make this magic happen? No matter how much we prepare and plan, for some reason we seldom come back from a "planned" cruise saying “Wasn’t that great!” So I’ve asked myself “Do you want to quit?” On a bad day my answer has been “maybe”, and on a good day my answer is “never”. In response to my stated dilemma, Roger Mummah, author of “Cruising Endless Summer –Exumas” has suggested “Cruise training”?? I would like to hear what you think? Don Bodemann
 
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Capt. Marc

Famous Quotes...

"I've worked very hard for a spontaneous vacation" - Martin Harvey- "If it's going to happen, It's going to happen out there" - Capt. Ron- "Attitude= The Difference between Adventure and Ordeal" - Bob Bitchin- See you on the water, Marc
 
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Chris Gonzales

Well put, Don

One of my favorite sayings: Wherever your are, be there. I try to live by it but often fail miserably. Thanks for the great post. Chris
 
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Rob R.

The most elaborate planning...

usually makes for the biggest failures, or at least perceived failures. Would less planning and more spontaneity make the actual act of sailing more fun for you? Maybe more daysailing, and less long trips? Hate to see the spark die in a skipper. Best of Luck - Rob
 
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Tom

I think you found the answer....You just haven't

recognized it....... You even wrote " Many of the unplanned lazy weekends on the boat turned out to be wonderful. Even crummy weather has not been able to ruin some of these special times. " THAT IS SO TRUE..... One of my best memories is of running out of fuel just as I entered the breakwaters of Stamford....At first it seemed like the biggest pain in the A**......but it turned into one of the most pleasant sails that year....We weren't in a big hurry so why call sea tow ---- I just kept the sails up (the winds were very light) and sailed (ghosted) all the back to my slip.....it was shear bliss!.....we all try to cover more ground than we should in a day......we forget that the beauty of sailing is taking it easy and really observing things as we go by..... plan less....go out more...no agenda...just go with the winds
 
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Al S

I don't know maybe its because...

our most recent boat is so new to us that I still get enjoyment out of cleaning her and striving to make her the best boat possible. My frustration is working a rotating shift, including weekends, and not being able to get on her more. All I can say, is there anything else I'd rather be doing? Nah!
 
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Ed Schenck

Is this the same. . . .

Bodemann of "Good Old Boat" fame? What happened to "a bad day on the water is better than a good day . . ."? This will be just my fourth season with a "big" boat and your introspection hasn't happened to me yet. Sure we get disappointed by the weather after the 90 minute drive to the boat. But just being at the marina is better than most things that I can think of. We've had bad experiences like the loss of a rudder but we knew there would be problems with an old boat. I get tired of all the work sometimes but then we sail and :)))). I am somewhat mystified by your post.
 
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Ken Koons

Golfing

Hey it could be worse, you could be golfing.....the bad shots start piling up and the frustration building...the slow players in front of you. The feeling of re-learning the game every spring, playing all year to get your score back to where it was the past fall, and then start over again in the spring. I haven't picked up the sticks in three years, if I have a choice between 5 hours of slow agonizing play on the golf course or 5 hours on the boat, I'll take the boat and relaxation over the golf and frustration.
 
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David Foster

Lucky, I guess...

Both the Admiral and I just love being underway, seeing and feeling the boat, the waves, the wind, and the sights. We also enjoy hanging out at the marina, meeting people, and sharing our stories about sailing and anything else. Being close to the marina, we daysail many evenings after work. I guess another idea is that we never "plan" a trip that forces us to sail all day if we don't feel like it, or the weather is bad, or against us. We laid out a trip to the east end of Lake Erie last month, then realized we were planning 6 all day legs in 8 days! So we decided to take 11 days, and agree that if we liked anchoring in Presque Isle we might just stay there. I think cruising is like camping with really good accommodations. And we get to be on the water, and sail in between. We both enjoy camping, but some folks don't. We have good friends who have really different ideas of relaxing. She is the camping sort like us - this is partly the idea of taking lazy joy in a beautiful day in a beautiful spot without a schedule, or obligation. He will take about an hour of this, then jump up and announce a plan for an activity to fill the morning until lunch. Their favorite vacation is a cruise ship. He starts every day with the ships plan of the day, mapping out his schedule for every minute, and she waits until the urge move her to sunning with a book, or whatever. They are dear friends of some 30 years, and they enjoy talking about their differences, and laughing with us about them. Thanks for the transparent, and thoughtful post, Don. You do know that we all treasure as a member of our community, don't you? It takes all kinds to make a joyful noise. David Lady Lillie
 
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Mike D

Serenity

Don, Nicely done. I think the saying "Ignorance is bliss" applies to me. I truly can say that when we are on our boat, all is well. We love it. Actually, I think that I love it more than the Misses. I think I am in a trance or in some fantasy. It is shear pleasure and appreciation. We have had some bad times but I honestly couldn't remember them. They get washed out in the thoughts of pleasure. I have thought about life without the sailboat. It seems so much simpler at times. I quickly get over it and think that we have been blessed. If we need to part with our boat, so be it. In the meantime however, any thought of life without her seems to be insanity. Mike D S/v Serenity
 
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Larry McKay

Great Post

All I know is,when the wind,weather and water are right ,I forget any bad days that came before---------------"GLORIA"
 
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Jule [and Carl]

The Sun is Always Shinning...

The sun is always shinning! The problem is not all people can always see it. Sometimes it's cloudy, sometimes it's night and sometimes people prefer to look in a deep dark hole instead of up and around. If I was your mother, I'd say, 'Stop your whinning and get on with your life!' But I'm not your mother, so I'll just suggest that your problem is that on a cold rainy day you have no idea how lucky you are to be alive and well and able to enjoy the benefits of a sailboat. When you are sitting in a sail boat, you are not at the funeral of someone you love, you are not in a hospital with a pain which will never end, and you have not lost your ability to hope and dream. If you are not happy with every day which comes, if you can't see the beauty of the sunrise, may I suggest that you are simply not looking in the right direction. You do have so much to appreciate in life, but it is your choice whether you dwell on the good or are dominated by the bad. However, if you are going to allow yourself to be dominated by the bad, please don't come knocking on our door, because depression is a highly contagious disease and we can't afford to catch it! We've got sunbeams to catch instead... You don't have to go looking for what's inside you, and what's inside you is your perspective on life. Enjoy it all! Jule 'Syzygy'
 
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Larry W.

Roses

Sometimes, when you smell the roses its a wonderful fragrance, and sometimes it's a bee up your nose. In order to keep on truckin' you just have to love it, bees and all. I've been at it for 25 years and still get the occasional bee, but when it all comes together, it's worth every cent, cut, bruise and busted knuckle. I'm lucky, my wife more or less agrees with me.
 
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Robert W. Bonney

Thanks, Don

"Life is what happens when you are planning other things." This has always been my favorite quote on this subject. It took a terminal illness (that is no longer terminal due to an organ transplant) to make me understand this. For me, sailing or even just staying at the dock when the weather is bad, or working on my boat is the way to remind myself that all those things at the office are not really as important as they seemed during the week. Thanks for the thought provoking post.
 
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Jim Bailey

Smell of Roses

Don After reading your post, I had to respond. You speak of much, but from what I see, the good far outweighs the bad. Be thankful for all those memories, as there are many people that will never get to experience them. You don't have to look very far to see that. Remember before you had your boat? Remember when you were sitting on the beach watching everyone else on the water, and wishing you were there? Wondering if you would even ever have a boat? I do. I also remember 1:30AM three years ago, being awakened by the worst pain I ever felt, being rushed to the hospital, waiting 12 hours in ER, waiting for a room, being in a fog, and being told that I had the option of 3 months or surgery. I thought of my family, friends, and yes about my boat. And how I wanted to be sailing rather than in that damn hospital. My first question to the surgeon, and cardiologist was, IF I had triple bypass surgery, would I recover enough to be able to go sailing on my boat again? They said yes. I wanted to sail the boat more. I'm here, I'm sailing, (when I can) and I learned, there's nothing like this that will make a person sit up, take notice, "Smell the Roses", and coffee too. Enjoy your boat, and all that goes with it. There may come a day when all you have is those memories of your boat, the fun, good times, and the trials and tribulations. Even those you will find were'nt so bad after all. Life is short. Enjoy it. There are many people that would give their eye teeth to be in your shoes. Good sailing and fair winds to you.
 
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Don Bodemann

Thanks friends!

Thank you all for taking the time to respond. I liked Bob Todd's response “need a bigger boat” the best ;-) (if my H-33 sells, I'll be hunting for that H-37C!), and Jule...ouch! Didn't mean to come across as whining. Just in a bit of a quandary, love sailing and all that goes with owning a sailboat most of the time, but have had little success at enjoying "planned cruises". This year we're going to take a week to hang out on the boat and try the spontaneous approach. We’ll probably sneak down the coast to Atlantic City NJ, but otherwise, no planned cruises. We are in “cruise training”! And yes, I’ll be calling my cup half full and not half empty. Don PS: Yes Ed, it’s me. One of my greatest pleasures (regarding sailing) is still, fixing up a Good Old Boat! Taking old neglected boats and bringing them “back to life” is one of the most rewarding ventures I have encountered.
 
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Ray Bowles

We chose to think of life as an adventure with

some of it more exciting than most. There really aren't bad days, just crappier adventures we must work through, as quick as we can, to have another shot of adventure tomorrow. When we sail, and that's alot, we approach it as a variable number of days to sail. If we planned schedules, times and places we had to make, then it became not much more of an adventure than those crappy ones mentioned before. We simple head in whatever direction required, to sail upwind, as we leave the marina. New books below. Ray
 
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Jule [and Carl]

That said...

That said, you probably are suffering from that good old ill known as 'cabin fever' and not getting enough light because it's January..... cheer up - 'this too shall pass...' :>) Jule, with apologies for the rough words...[just be really glad you aren't one of our kids!]
 
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Roy Mosteller

Food For Thought

A plaque on my bulkhead reads - "Do you realize that if it weren't for sailing, 70% of the earth's surface would be wasted?"
 
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