Can I go with this weekend..?

Tim R. · Oct 4, 2012

Nice. Me too.

Sailm8 · Oct 4, 2012

Sounds like a weekend of fine wine, grilling something special and time in the cockpit (no pun) watching the stars.

Merlin Clark · Oct 4, 2012

A lot of us have gone through that Squidd.
A friend of mine had a sticker next to his companionway that said "Have You Flogged Your Crew Today?" and it worked as a reminder for him to not get excited, the whole point of pleasure boating is the "pleasure" part.
When requesting assistance from the crew, tone and volume are important! The problem with barking orders is no one has to put up with it.
BTDT, got the t-shirt!

Benny17441 · Oct 4, 2012

If you find one that can dive an clean the bottom, that would be a real find!

Ward H · Oct 4, 2012

Pretty cool!
When we started sailing in the spring, my wife said she was along for the ride and I was to do all the work.
On one of the first sails she took over as helmsperson and has driven on every sail since. I'm not allowed to leave her home.
She is as excited about our new boat as I am. She is already asking about sailing to Annapolis and St Mike's.
It's very good to have a wife who wants to sail and I remind myself on every sail that I can change all of that with one careless bark.

Glad you had a great weekend.

shemandr · Oct 4, 2012

Let her drive

Ward H said:
On one of the first sails she took over as helmsperson and has driven on every sail since. I'm not allowed to leave her home.
She is as excited about our new boat as I am.

I've said before, the key to getting your spouse to enjoy sailing is to let her sail. But you won't even get the chance if you scare her or yell at her.

Ward H · Oct 4, 2012

Duplicate post

Tim R. · Oct 4, 2012

Benny17441 said:
If you find one that can dive an clean the bottom, that would be a real find!

Yup, mine does that!

dscribner · Oct 4, 2012

My wife gets ticked at me if I don't want to go out. I rarely raise my voice but occasionally I get stern, so she calls that yelling. I only get angry if she can't figure out how to perform a task that she's done 30 times before, literally. Other than that, she's a real trouper. Does everything from motoring to stepping the mast, to backing the trailer. Once she picked me up at work so we could launch here in Wells, Maine. Truck, trailer and boat are 50 feet long and she has to take the highway. Now, to put things in perspective . . . she's a girlie girl, mostly. 5'-9, 125 lb runner, Betty Crocker, 49 years old.

Ron20324 · Oct 4, 2012

shemandr said:
I've said before, the key to getting your spouse to enjoy sailing is to let her sail. But you won't even get the chance if you scare her or yell at her.

I pre-apologize to my crew, in that I'm not "yelling" AT them, I'm just trying to be sure they hear me, or heard above the wind, or the motor, or some other crew who never pauses between sentences.

Maybe with the wife at home, yell at her there, too, so she does not associate yelling as strickly a "boating" thing:cussing:

Indysailor · Oct 4, 2012

I got into sailing because of my wife, who grew up sailing with her family on their Flying Scot and her own Laser. The two of us played hooky yesterday and went out in the morning, getting back just in time for the kids to step off the bus, about six hours of just the two of us on 12,000 acres of water. While we were putting everything away at the slip before leaving I was struck by just how in synch we are on the boat, leaving and docking under windy conditions, reefing in the morning, then heaving-to later on to take out the reef when the wind calmed down, having a blast, flying along heeled over at 25 degrees on a gusty Autumn morning. There is not a person I'd rather sail with than her.

There are some exasperating moments like this one; we always check the carb on the OB for water before we go out. It takes about two minutes, so I asked my wife if she wanted to do it so that she would know how if she ever had the motor conk out on the lake and wanted to check for water in the lines. She said yes, so I showed her where the screw was on the carb bowl and told her she'd be loosening that to drain it. While I'm turned the other way, pulling out the nifty little funnel/catch I made for this purpose I see that she's already opened it, draining gas all over the inside of the motor.

It seems I neglected to tell her how the bowl drain worked. I didn't get mad, but I'm sure there was a detectible eye roll.

Merlin Clark · Oct 4, 2012

Squidd said:
Yep agree...

Gave her the tiller once and now she thinks she's in charge...can dump on a gust etc..(and cheaper than an auto pilot)..

Now I call her "A Tiller the Hun" ..(ny bunny)

Good one!

Bob S · Oct 4, 2012

Wait till she's yelling commands at you!

I've been lucky too, she panicked our first sail when we healed 20°. Now she's nonchalant in 25-30's but she is still more interested in the destination than the journey.

Stu Jackson · Oct 4, 2012

It's not luck, it's training.

And NOT of The Admiral, either! :cussing:

Once she taught me that being Captain Bligh didn't make sense for either one of us, things have been great!

Scott B · Oct 4, 2012

Why would you EVER yell at your spouse onboard...... seriously.

Sounds like you need to do much more than this ... and throw in a few more weekends of "shopping"

Sounds like a weekend of fine wine, grilling something special and time in the cockpit (no pun) watching the stars.

Joe · Oct 4, 2012

If your wife was driving the car while you were the passenger and you saw an out of control vehicle careening at you that you knew she couldn't see..... how polite would you be when you warned her?

Analyze the situation, and discuss it with her. You were wrong, of course, but she over reacted. I think you've both had time to think about that and hopefully she is a little less sensitve, and you are a little more experienced.... now's the time to enjoy the strengthening of the relationship.....

BUT....... remember Squidd........ one boat, one captain. If your are in charge, you must take the responsibility and act.... feelings hurt or not.... your life may depend on it.

Scott B · Oct 4, 2012

Joe said:
If your wife was driving the car while you were the passenger and you saw an out of control vehicle careening at you that you knew she couldn't see..... how polite would you be when you warned her?

That makes no sense whatsoever in relation to the original post.