An able-bodied seaman meets a pirate in a bar . .

[Bob Todd]

. . . and they take turns recounting their adventures at sea. Noting the pirate's peg-leg, hook, and eye patch the seaman asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"The pirate replies, "We was caught in a monster storm off the cape and a giant wave swept me overboard. Just as they were pullin' me back aboard, a school of sharks appeared and one of 'em bit me leg off.""Blimey!" said the seaman. "What about the hook?""Ahhhh...," mused the pirate, "we was boardin' a trader ship, pistols blastin' and swords swingin' this way and that. In the fracas me hand got chopped off.""Zounds!" remarked the seaman. "And how came ye by the eye patch?""A seagull droppin' fell into me eye," answered the pirate."You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked incredulously."Well," said the pirate, "it was me first day with the hook..."

 

[Gary Wyngarden]

Very good, Bob

Thanks for sharing.Gary WyngardenS/V Wanderlust h37.5

 

[KorculaChris]

Next pub

The pirate then went into another pub with a comely wench in tow. He asked the barmen, with a leer in his one good eye, "Does ya serve wimmin in 'ere? Aaargh."The barman, with a knowing look, answered, "No, matey, you has ter bring yer own!"

 

[Fred Ficarra]

Thanks Bob

Gotta print that one. Still

 

[OldCat]

A whole bunch of 'em. . .

A whole bunch of these type of jokes can be found at the link provided. Lots of good ones. (Though the hook in the eye is the best!).OC

 

[higgs]

the funeral

Bill and Ed were going out for their weekly sail. They unslipped their boat from their river mooring and headed upstream towards the big lake, but had to wait a few minutes at the bridge until its scheduled opening. As they waited, a funeral procession happened to pass over the bridge in front of them. Bill stood up, took off his hat, placed it over his heart, and remained silent until the procession passed over the bridge. Ed was visibly impressed and said, "Bill, I had no idea you were so reverent""Well," Bill said, "Its the least I can do. She's been my wife these past 35 years."

 

[Rob]

One more pirate story

A pirate walks into a bar with what appears to be a ship's wheel attached to the fly of his pants. Most of the folks try to ignore him, but the barkeep finally leans over and says "Is that a ship's wheel ya got there?" The pirate says "AYE, and its drivin' me NUTS!"