How Not To Launch A Sailboat

[Freedom77]

If you want to have a free day of fun, leave your boat at home, and just go to any local marina on a weekend and hang out at the launch ramp. One Sunday afternoon years ago we were pulling Freedom out of the water after a club race at Marina Del Rey, Cal. A pickup pulled into the parking lot pulling a Columbia Sabre. This is a 26 ft fixed keel, narrow beam racer which sits about six feet off the trailer. The "Skipper" got out of the cab wearing a speedo and flip flops. His wife and I assume his daughter got out dressed like they were going to a fashion show, high heels and designer bags included. He spoke to them in what sounded like an Eastern European dialect and they promply got out of the way. He backed the trailer up in preperation to launch about two feet from the water. The Del Rey ramps are fairly steep. He put chocks under the trailer wheels and to our amazement disconnected the trailer. He then pulled the truck forward and, honest to God, tied a piece of what looked like TV antena cable to the trailer and the other end to the hitch on the truck. IT GETS BETTER. He pulled forward to take up the slack in the cable. I assume his intention was to let the trailer sink until the boat came off and then pull forward. During all this time his wife and daughter were standing to one side observing. He then kicked out the chocks. The trailer instantly rolled backwards snapping the flimsy wire. It rolled into the water and boat floated off. COOL. Not once did he ask for any help from any one. NOW FOR THE FUN PART. The docks at MDR are floating concrete. The trailer rolled under the floating concrete dock and jammed. Oh, did I mention the tide was going out. At this point we offered to help and he immediately cast aspersions on our family heritage. We backed off. As the sun slowly set in the west you could hear the trailer being crushed under the weight of tons of floating concrete. I didn't stay to see if the Harbor Master showed up. It's all true and I got witnesses. Fair winds...

 

[Old Skool Neil]

Haven't done it in a while but you're right, it's a great way to spend a morning. I packed a lawn chair, umbrella and a cooler and set up within eyesight of the Dana Point launch ramp, preferably on a big summer holiday. It's hilarious.

 

[Zaphro]

I've got the best slip in the marina, I get to sit in the cockpit and watch the Boat Ramp show all day everyday.

 

[larryw]

Oh, yeah. I used to launch my first sailboat, a Windmill 16, at the Golden Ave. ramp in Long Beach. I wrote up a little piece on one incident and got it into a local rag. The Alamitos Bay ramp is another fun venue.

 

[sailormanbigd]

another one

just tied up to the Anclote river park dock when a new power boat-shiny metalflake bass 18 footer flew in with full power to the dock and shut it down. All the boats at the dock crashed back and forth very hard. My young kids were crying. The lone guy gets out runs up to get his shiny new truck backs in and gets in his boat and guns it onto the trailer. next thing i hear is tires sqeeling and a loud bang you guessed it, he never attached the bow and left his shiny boat on the concrete dock payback never felt so sweet!

 

[rgranger]

My uncle always told me that docking is a spectator sport.

 

[Zaphro]

My uncle always told me that docking is a spectator sport.

The first lesson in boat driving my dad ever gave me was, "Never approach something faster than you are willing to run into it."

 

[KandD]

I spent a month monitoring recreational fishing catch rates, my job was to interview anglers as the pulled their boats out of a marina and take bio data on fish retained. Oh... the stories. If I have a mid-life crisis, I'm going to law school to become a divorce attorney. I'll set up a tent at the edge of boat ramps on the weekend and after a year retire to a luxury yacht.

Some highlights from those 4 weeks:
1) brand new police patrol boat dropped on ramp during low tide by homeland security
2) a guy face-plants into the dock while hopping out of the boat (beyond intoxicated) followed by retrieving the vehicle.
3) Teen fooling around in a dingy (and without regards for safety, getting in the way of boaters) hit a wake and dropped the outboard off the back = good day for me.
4) I was yelled at by a lady for not helping her hold/tie up her boat while the husband got the truck. It ended up turning around in the slip... I'm a biologist, not a dock hand... and she was being a jerk.
5) I was yelled at for keeping the bow of a boat from hitting the dock (apparently holding the bow off was a gesture that I would tie up the whole boat), this was why i didn't offer to help #4, or anyone else.
6)DEA operations

I also learned 90% of boaters don't know how to dock, launch, retrieve, back up a trailer, or tie up a boat.

good times.

 

[Tim R.]

At least he got the boat in the water. I saw a guy leave his boat on the ramp(at high tide) because, out of rage, he gunned the engine while pulling the boat and the boat rolled right off the trailer.

He freaked out and started yelling at all the people waiting in line to use the ramp because some asked him to move his truck/trailer/boat. This was one of these idots who unloads all the crap on the dock, loads the boat on the trailer, pulls the boat out of the water but stays on the ramp to retrieve his cooler full of empty bud light cans and other assorted crap.

BTW, I am not without fault. I once launched a powerboat without the plug in. It is amazing how much faster they fill then drain

 

[PotomacDaysailer]

BTW, I am not without fault. I once launched a powerboat without the plug in. It is amazing how much faster they fill then drain

I can do better than that. One time with my first boat I put the mast up then backed into an overhead line. Bent a beautiful "S" curve into the mast. Cost me $300 in 1975 dollars (and I only made $2 an hour at the time) and a lot of pride. But you'll never catch me failing to look up again.

 

[Bill Roosa]

YouTube has some funny stuff too

nm

 

[kenn]

As a trailer-sailor, and with only 4 seasons under my belt... I have had ...experiences. All were only of the "oops..(scramble) ...phew!" variety, where disaster was narrowly averted, and frankly, my wife and I are now pretty good at it as a team.

I will share one: this year I have been doing a bit more solo-sailing, which means solo-launching. Last month I set up to launch, expertly backed down the ramp, stopped and disconnected the winch line and arranged the mooring lines, then backed down some more, intending to back to just before the boat will float off. Of course I went that bit too far and the boat gently floated off. I had to race back, wade in and with one last lunge, managed to grab the bow mooring line.

Of course several boaters were watching, and came to my aid when the boat floated off, but by then I had it (and a major soaker). They laughed, I blushed. It's all Ok, it was at my club, and the witnesses have been bribed to silence.

I have since made up extra-long mooring lines and one gets tied to the winch post to prevent runaways.

I must say that this year, in our travels we have NOT seen too much launch ramp disasters from others. I have actually been impressed to see some brisk efficient end-of-day haulouts by returning fisher-persons, and even courtesy towards fellow boaters. Must have been a higher class of launch ramp.

Last one - we used to patronize lakeside lodges and inns alot, and one of our favourite pastimes was watching other guests take out rental canoes. The best is when they get into the canoe while it's still beached, then try to push/rock/ooch their way into the water. Priceless...

 

[Tim R.]

I have since made up extra-long mooring lines and one gets tied to the winch post to prevent runaways.

Now you just have to remember to remove that line before pulling the trailer back up the ramp

 

[comfortzone]

An older go-fast bass boat pulled up to the state park ramp quickly because it was taking on water. It had an old Merc outboard (remember the ones that were about 6' tall?) and the operator was in the stern and he had to weigh 350 easy. His skinny partner jumped onto onto the dock with a line and pulled the bow up as high as he could. The boat started to list and kept going, completely upside down. An funnier skit has never been produced by Hollywood.

 

[Joe]

Anyone who would sit at a boat ramp and laugh at people is a very poor human being.

Tell me you were never there at some time in your boating life.

We've all had moments where our inexperience is on display. Then it becomes a great memory and learning experience because we received a helping hand and a word of encouragement from compassionate docksiders.

Wouldn't it be cool to pass that feeling on to others also?

Of course, being a sailor, I reserve the right to mock and deride PWC owners.... aka LAKE FLEAS... they were born to be ridiculed.

 

[Ross]

I once watched as a man with his grandchildren backed his son's 16 something power boat down the ramp. I told him to not back past the marks on the dock that indicate the end of the concrete ramp. He did and dropped the wheels off the edge. Trailer landed on its frame and the boat floated free. Then he tried to pull the trailer out but it was way past the axle so there was no chance. He said now what do I do. I asked one of the kids if he could swim and could he take a line down and pass it under the frame and back up to the boat. He could and did. Then we assembled everyone at the bow and I hauled the line as tight as I could and cleated it then I told grandpa to get in his truck and slowly S_L_O_W_L_Y pull forward. That word wasn't in his vocabulary. I had moved every one back to the stern and told him to try it. He started out and came close to dragging the boat onto the ramp before he stopped.
I didn't stay around to watch hi recover the boat later.

 

[Joe]

That's the spirit, Ross. I'm like you, one disaster assist per day is enough for me.

 

[Hermit Scott]

There is only one thing that could happen that is worse than publicly humiliating yourself, that's when you see all the camera phones coming out. They will have one hand covering their mouths laughing and one hand operating the camera phone.
So that's what I hear anyway.

 

[BobM]

I put on a show this past weekend. For the last hurricane I had stripped off the sails. I knew I had to take my Wife, Niece and her Fiancee' (newly minted) out and that I had to get the sails back on. However, it was quite windy all week (15-20) so I waited until that day to do so when it was supposed to be 5-10. My plan was to get out there early and get it done before my Niece and her Fiancee showed up. Of course my crew had other ideas and we ended up there later than intended. Everyone was aboard by the time I was ready to raise the genoa in about 10 knots of wind...did I mention that my boat loves to sail around on its mooring? I got everything rigged up to pull it up solo and started only to find the halyard wrapped around the foil...okay...stop...unwrap...start over. Tried again and it went up like a charm...upside down...

 

[Brian D]

Ever pulled into your slip and realize you were going a little too fast? Ever put the motor in neutral and then in reverse to attempt to slow down? Ever have you motor stall in reverse as yo were attempting to slow down before crashing into the slip?

I did and it wasn't funny. Totally embarrassed, but no one saw it. I did have to report to the marina office that I rammed and destroyed one of their fire hose boxes.

Oh well...