My worst passenger was my brother. He and his friend Ben had helped me do the bottom paint so I took them on an overnighter as thanks. We were anchored in a nice anchorage with several other boats. I had some high test moonshine on board and my bro drank most of it, and after explaining to Ben and I how stupid we were passed out. Ben and I enjoyed the peace and quiet for a while and turned in.
Around 2am the boat shuddered, I got up to see what was going on. We were in a 40 knot north wind, and dragging anchor. Ben woke up with me and after losing the dinghy and wrapping the dingy rope in the prop we got the anchor reset. Not a pleasant night with a lot going on, and my bro never even flinched. Around 7am I was awakened by my bro whispering in my ear. "are you awake" he said. I said yes. He said "we are out in the middle of the lake, and the dingy is gone". I said "I know". He said "ok" and went back to his bunk. Ben and I got up, made some coffee and figured out our next move. The wind was still at 30 knots from the north, so it was an excellent tack for getting back to the marina. The Great Salt Lake is heavy water and it was whitecaps and sloppy, and we would be sailing in the ditch. We pulled the anchor and got underway after diving the prop and getting the rope cleared.
My brother came up to the cockpit as we got underway. Beam reach running 5 knots, it was a great ride! Ben was at the helm and we were slugging along having a great time. Knowing that my bro was probably hungover, I kept an eye on him. He turned the most beautiful shade of green I have ever seen. He told me he was going below. I said "if your feeling sick you should probably stay up here. And, if you have to puke please go over the side of the boat, not in the head". He nodded to me and went below. 30 minutes later I hear this "thump thump thump thump" from below. I go down to find my bro in the head trying desperately to flush the head. It's a manual pump and he was pumping for all he was worth. I knew that whatever had happened was already done, so I went back up to enjoy the sail. We made it to the marina, and my bro came up as we were dropping sail and getting ready to go in. He told me that the "toilet" would not flush and he was sorry for the mess. I reminded him of what I had asked of him and he just shrugged. I went down to the head to find the worst vomit disaster I had ever seen. I popped back up to the cockpit and told Ben we were heading straight to the sanitary dock so we could pump the head and figure out how to save the boat. It was that bad. Ben is a plumber, so he has dealt with this type of horror before. We get to the the pump-a-head dock and tie up. I grabbed the key and we cracked the cap to the waste tank. When it turned a small jet of the ugliest looking water started to spray out. Ben screamed like a little girl and scared me to death. I asked him "what's your problem? You deal with sh!t water all the time!" and he said "I do, but not pressurized!" As the cap turned it just got worse, and then finally launched the cap on to the dock and the geyser that resulted created the worst sh!t show I have ever seen. Took me hours to clean the dock and gallons of water to clear the boat. We laugh about it now, and Ben still sails with me. My bro has never asked to sail again, and I have not extended him an invitation. He is on my "Blacklist".
