1) There’s a paddle sale at the boat shop… it’s quite an oar-deal.
2) Brenda is home making dinner, when Tim arrives at her door. "Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya." "Of course you can come in; you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband, Shamus?" "That's what I'm here to be tellin' ya, Brenda. When we returned from sailing on my Cal 31, there was an accident. "Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me..." Well, it wasn’t on the boat but on the way home from the dock. We stopped by the brewery for a pint and that’s when the accident occurred." "Oh, no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me..." "I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry." Finally, she looked up: "How did it happen, Tim?" "It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a great swirling vat of Guiness and drowned." “Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me true. Did he at least go quickly?" "Well," began Tim, with head bowed. "No, Brenda... no." "No?" cried Brenda. "Fact is," lamented Tim, "your husband climbed out three times to pee."
