Another Smile ... to get you throught the week ...

[catalanc]

The Mens Help Line

"HELLO, MY NAME IS BOB, HOW CAN I HELP YOU?"

CALLER: "HI, BOB, I REALLY NEED YOUR ADVICE ON A SERIOUS PROBLEM. I
HAVE SUSPECTED FOR SOME TIME NOW THAT MY WIFE HAS BEEN CHEATING ON ME.
THE USUAL SIGNS: IF THE PHONE RINGS AND I ANSWER, THE CALLER HANGS
UP. SHE 'GOES OUT WITH THE GIRLS' A LOT. I TRY TO STAY AWAKE TO LOOK
OUT FOR HER WHEN SHE COMES HOME, BUT I USUALLY FALL ASLEEP.

ANYWAY, LAST NIGHT ABOUT MIDNIGHT, I HID IN THE SHED BEHIND THE BOAT.
WHEN SHE CAME HOME, SHE GOT OUT OF SOMEONE'S CAR BUTTONING HER BLOUSE,
THEN SHE TOOK HER PANTIES OUT OF HER PURSE AND SLIPPED THEM ON.
IT WAS AT THAT MOMENT, CROUCHED BEHIND THE BOAT, THAT I NOTICED A
HAIRLINE CRACK IN THE OUTBOARD MOTOR MOUNTING BRACKET.

IS THAT SOMETHING I CAN WELD, ... OR DO I NEED TO REPLACE THE WHOLE BRACKET?"

 

[Squidd]

Ahhh...
You should have been here last week...

We're still waiting for a picture of this guys crack to determine if he has issues or not...

 

[Ralph Johnstone]

We're still waiting for a picture of this guys crack

Not referring to "plumber's" I hope.

 

[BudGates]

Ahhh...
We're still waiting for a picture of this guys crack ...

Not something I want to see......

 

[Jacktar]

Question is Is she a part owner of the boat and/or motor , if so may want to hold off on actions regarding fidelity until you determine the custody issue before working on the motor.

 

[RussC]

A nice, calm, and respectable lady
went into the pharmacy, walked up
to the pharmacist, looked straight
into his eyes, and said,
“I would like to buy some cyanide.”

The pharmacist asked,
“Why in the world do you need cyanide?”

The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.”

The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he exclaimed,
“Lord have mercy!
I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband
Absolutely not!
You CANNOT have any cyanide!”

The lady reached into her purse
and pulled out a picture of her husband
in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and said,
“You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”

 

[BudGates]

A sailor who just moved into town walks into a bar and asks the bar tender for three beers. The bar tender proceeds to pour three beers and hands them to the new guy. The sailor finds a table, sits down, and proceeds to sip from the three beers each in turn. When he finished he asked the bar tender for three more.

Curious the bar tender mentions that the beer goes flat once it's poured and would stay fresher if he were to order them one at a time.

The sailor replied "One of my brothers is a Marine and the other a Green Beret. Both are stationed in Afghanistan.
When they deployed we all agreed that until they return we would have our beers this way as if we were all drinking them together.

The bar tender acknowledged that this was an honorable tradition so every time he saw the sailor enter he'd pour three beers without any more question. One day when the sailor came in he ordered only two beers. Tears swelled up in the bar tender's eyes as he realized the significance of only two beers and he offered his deepest condolences.

Confused the sailor thought for a minute. When it dawned on him he replied, "Oh, everyone is fine. You see, my wife and I decided to join a church and I had to give up drinking. That hasn't effected my brothers though."

 

[dscribner]

They weren't HER panties