Marriage Saver

Mulf · Jan 2, 2016

We bought the Eartech duplex headsets last spring and they are perfect. Pricey but worth it. You can talk in conversational volume and hear everything like you are standing next to each other.

Bill Roosa · Jan 2, 2016

OK I'm missing something. You own a sailboat but can't hear your spouse. Presumably this is for docking or anchoring when you are at opposite ends of the boat. The wife and I have figured out how to anchor without much more than hand/arm signals and docking is pretty much a learn it the first time and you are done (communication wise).
I'm thinking that you need to work on your team skills and who is responsable for what and then train/practice so you don't need so much communicating.
I personaly think it is awsom to watch a couple dock a boat with out so much as a word because both know what to do, when to do it and what the other is doing so if something does go amiss they correct for it or sound off with a short "missed my mark" type statement.

Sailgunner · Jan 2, 2016

Bill Roosa said:
OK I'm missing something. You own a sailboat but can't hear your spouse. Presumably this is for docking or anchoring when you are at opposite ends of the boat. The wife and I have figured out how to anchor without much more than hand/arm signals and docking is pretty much a learn it the first time and you are done (communication wise).
I'm thinking that you need to work on your team skills and who is responsable for what and then train/practice so you don't need so much communicating.
I personaly think it is awsom to watch a couple dock a boat with out so much as a word because both know what to do, when to do it and what the other is doing so if something does go amiss they correct for it or sound off with a short "missed my mark" type statement.

Hand signals work but the good headsets are better. We also use ours when I have to go up the mast and we can talk in a normal voice.

seadaddler · Jan 2, 2016

I have the less $$$$ ear muff type set from I think it was cruising solutions for many years with no problems and use 9 volt batteries so just put some electric lub on the battery connections and they are great.
Nick

Crazy Dave Condon · Jan 3, 2016

So often I hear about electronics and wonder to myself. Do we not want to get away from that rat race which is too fast and live simply. I enjoy living in the mountains and watching the birds and hear them chirp or wanting to listen to the leaves crunch when a black bear goes past but I could keep on without loud music bearing down upon me.

Bill Roosa hit it on the head that those electronic ear muffs. There are those times when a couple need to know what the heck to do without head pieces for example docking in port to get out of the way of a hurricane fast approaching with all the other boats coming in and people yelling on the dock. What about being caught in a bad storm like a hurricane trying to tell someone what to do vs. learning and knowing what to do with instinct. A few seconds of discussion could mean loosing your life or loosing a boat or both when you have to instruct someone on how to do it in a bad situation. I choose learning together without having to go thru discussion.

As a dealer I would take the time to teach systems, docking, handling and so forth more so than all other dealers and insisted the couple to include the wife to listen and learn. The wives would ask why. I would ask if your husband or child fell overboard what would you do. That generally ended the discussion and the wife would learn. I taught my wife to dock sailboats. Once bringing around three boats on the Pamlico, one captain fell injuring himself and had to transfer off that 44 footer onto another sailboat. She went ahead and docked that boat very well better than me. Now do you understand learning vs. being told is important to me that in a situation instinct is better than taking the time to instruct. Take the time to learn that boat vs. being instructed.

Bill Roosa · Jan 3, 2016

Well Nodac, the boat is only 40 ft long. If it was a cruse ship I'm think those things would be great. I guess I'm of the opinion that I would not use these things if my wife was in the kitchen and i ran out of TP in the bathroom either. Perhaps it is very noisey on their boat due to the motor or radio,or he is trying to teach his crew (admerable), I don't know but I think you are missing the point. This is another gadget that takes us away from the concept of sailing simply and, in a pinch, results in safety issues when someone has to spend time communicating (or worse does not know that the other party is making a bad decision) what to do or what is going on. The more you can standardize things and responsabilities the safer and simpler your sailing.
BTW I do have a smoke flare in the emergency locker and it is an outhorized way of signalling.

Crazy Dave Condon · Jan 3, 2016

Bill, you and I are alike. I assume you are still in the same marina on base.

seadaddler · Jan 3, 2016

Nodak
I have ear muff not the ones from cruising solutions but will get back to where I got them as soon as I get back home
some time tomorrow.
They were about maybe $50 I think and yes make things so easy with out yelling and my hearing sucks to begin with and
happy wife happy life and hand signing is good but the ear muffso much better
I know and so does Nodak know all about handling a sailboat
and been sailing for a lot of years but when wife ask we obey and that is why they go sailing so much with us.
We all started out with hands signing but found out the marriage savers really do make it so easy .
Thanks to all.
Nick

thinwater · Jan 3, 2016

I really hate this term (marriage saver). To me, it implies a whole range of wrong thinking.

Guys:

Have a plan before you start. Communicate. Take as long as required to be clear, even if that means drifting for a few minutes. I usually start to explain the approach at least 5 minutes ahead.
If anything changes, consider aborting and re-planning.
Never expect the person to do anything they are not easily capable of. Not you, them.
Never assume they know the things you know. Do you know everything they know?
Learn to do ALL of it single handed. That will teach you how to ease the boat into any situation with minimal need for any help you are fortunate enough to have.

Wives:

Learn to drive and let him go up front. If you are not interested in learning to drive, well, then you get stuck going up front.
If your cannot stand a loud noise, even when there is no anger in it, either get over it or stay home. Sometimes there is background noise and we aren't coming to whisper in your ear. So don't blame it on us.
If the explanation is not clear, ask for a repeat. Don't accept "it'll work out," you'll see," or "we'll figure it out." Well, maybe sometimes.
If you don't understand docking, read up. Or accept that you are just along as a guest and feel a little guilty about that. Didn't actually want to go cruising? Reasonable enough. But that is a completely separate question. A head set aint' going to solve that.

---
Not that any of this applies to the OP. I just hate the term, like nails on a chalkboard.
---
But really, I have no use for them, even for free. Hand signals are easy. If it seems complicated or physical, I let her drive (there is nothing manly about steering) and I go up front.

===

LuzSD · Jan 4, 2016

I prefer a partnership where we both know all jobs, and trust each other to punt if need be. Each time out has different variables, so each provides better and better thinking on your feet skills. Never ever considered this type of electronics but have seen it..... To each his own.

I dislike the description of marriage savers too.......but I also would offer the following with a few small

changes.

Gals

Have a plan before you start. Communicate. Take as long as required to be clear, even if that means drifting for a few minutes. I usually start to explain the approach at least 5 minutes ahead.
If anything changes, consider aborting and re-planning.
Never expect the person to do anything they are not easily capable of. Not you, them.
Never assume they know the things you know. Do you know everything they know?
Learn to do ALL of it single handed. That will teach you how to ease the boat into any situation with minimal need for any help you are fortunate enough to have.

Guys

Learn to drive and let her go up front. If you are not interested in learning to drive, well, then you get stuck going up front.
If your cannot stand a loud noise, even when there is no anger in it, either get over it or stay home. Sometimes there is background noise and we aren't coming to whisper in your ear. So don't blame it on us.
If the explanation is not clear, ask for a repeat. Don't accept "it'll work out," you'll see," or "we'll figure it out." Well, maybe sometimes.
If you don't understand docking, read up. Or accept that you are just along as a guest and feel a little guilty about that. Didn't actually want to go cruising? Reasonable enough. But that is a completely separate question. A head set aint' going to solve that.

seadaddler · Jan 4, 2016

That is why they are called savers and you are making it too hard and work,you mean well and yes good to have a plan and
we do discuss what needs to be done before hand but ear muffs just makes everything so easy and prevents mistakes.
Remember everyone has their own way of doing things and what works for one may not work for others.
But if it is working it doesn't need fixing
Amen

Scott B · Jan 4, 2016

"Marriage Saver" ??? I'm sure that expression was coined by the powerboat crowd....

This thread is too funny. It reminds me of the anchor wars of several years ago or the coffee threads of drip vs coffee press vs percolator....

Back in the days, charts and sextants worked perfectly fine, then came gps & chartplotters and made life much simpler. Signal flags worked fine until vhf.

We anchor out every weekend and a couple weeks per season. When we first got the boat 8 yrs. ago, we learned hand signals, my wife learned to drive the boat ( she sets, I haul ) and successfully anchor almost 100% each time...... When something just doesn't go quite right and there just isn't a hand signal to match what exactly is going wrong, a head set would be ideal to easily talk to one another and "communicate" what needs to be done... Nothing wrong here, just using technology that is now available that was not "back in the days"

Crazy Dave Condon · Jan 6, 2016

Yeah but back in the good old days you are able to still keep going. When all electronics are out, how would one navigate along the coast. Yes in the good old days a simple A M radio with a state highway road map to include the Chesapeake Bay (Virginia) I could triangulate myself with the cross plot of two radio signals. The old RDF?
Just remember in any situation, both need to know in the event of situation of any kind what to do without the prescence of electronics

topcat0399 · Jan 6, 2016

You guys gave me a great idea - when the Admiral and I aren't on speaking terms and we have to perform a maneuver such as docking we can each have a halyard for running up signal flags....

Kings Gambit · Jan 6, 2016

This is the one we use!!

Gene Neill · Jan 6, 2016

My wife and I really only have one "hand signal" for each other, that we use when verbal communication breaks down.

ttac · Jan 6, 2016

We have the new set from Crusing Solutions ( My Team Talks ) and we love them! Much better then the old Marrage Savers.
They have a volume control, can also blue tooth your phone in to it so your phone can stay below deck, no wires to snag. And very comfortable to wear.
Dean

Sailgunner · Jan 6, 2016

ttac said:
We have the new set from Crusing Solutions ( My Team Talks ) and we love them! Much better then the old Marrage Savers.
They have a volume control, can also blue tooth your phone in to it so your phone can stay below deck, no wires to snag. And very comfortable to wear.
Dean

I think is the type of feedback Nodak was looking for.