When Should Medical Conditions Prevent Sailing -- Mate (or Self Even)?

[Biobob Catalina 27]

My wife who has been a nurse for over 30 years, changed to hospice nursing a year or two ago, The biggest difference for her was in an ICU area, their job was to keep the person (body) alive almost at all costs, hospice nursing is to allow a person to go with dignity. One of the best things one can do is to help the person live what they have left, time wise, in the manner that gives them the most dignity and still let them experience life as fully as able. Yes, most of her clients have a very short time left, but for those who can still do things, we sometimes have to accept risks. I do take one of her clients out on our boat, he likely won't see another boating season but he sure is loving this one.

 

[rardiH36]

Original PO here.

Thanks all for the responses so far. All given with good insights and preparation. Actually I have thought about posting about this for many months. But only did so today.

Yes it is a difficult dilemma for me. But also my wife has had on-going life altering/threatening conditions for 30 years. So that I recognize is affecting my stance. She is an exceptionally resilient person.

I think though I will wait until tomorrow to take it all in before summarizing and updating again.

However I would like to mention, as some of the respondents also have, that I also can first-hand appreciate how life events can affect one's outlook. Here's the story. While road riding my bicycle nine months ago last October, a SUV driving in the opposite direction made a sudden left turn across the road into my path. The driver did not see me. I though noticed his eyes shift even as the SUV's wheels turned and I hit my brakes harder than I ever had on a bicycle. If I hadn't, for sure I would have been T-boned or would have crashed into the SUV's side. Those scenarios actually might have resulted in a better outcome than what did eventuate. I was moving about 20-25mph. I think what happened is when I realized I had braked enough to avoid the collision and was about ready to release the brake levers, there was no longer enough rim momentum and the front brake pad locked on the rim and freezing the wheel. Within a split second, I was over the handle bars and hit the pavement full on the top of my head with the rest of my body inverted straight up with feet pointing at the sky. After a moment or two on the pavement, I took inventory of myself. All was still functioning. Except what felt like very strained neck muscles. I scolded the driver for being careless then let him go without exchanging information. After deliberating whether to continue my ride, I did decide to ride the five or so hilly miles back home. Taking off my helmet, I observed that the Styrofoam "padding" was full of fissures. So I knew I must have hit pretty hard. I put a cold beer on my neck then drank it while watching the 49'ers lose on TV. Did the same with second beer and watched the 49'ers lose even more. Then told my wife we should get into the Prius and drive to Kaiser Hospital to have my neck checked out at ER. The admitting doctor also initially thought the same... strained trapezius muscles of the neck. But then he also said that "if I wanted" he could order a CT scan. My choice was yes. Revealed were that C1 and C2 vertebrae were broken. (Same two apparently as Christopher Reeves). Kaiser's Northern California spine injury team at another hospital immediately started to analyze the exact nature of the injury. Not too long after getting this news, I began to lose consciousness and went into shock for a while. Fortunately the breaks were considered stable and I had no damage to ligaments, tendons or the discs. RX was confinement to a rigid C-collar for 5 months. I was only in the emergency room for four hours.

Obviously my normal activities were curtailed. But even the next day I was moving about the house and several days later resumed walking around the neighborhood and doing stationary bicycle sessions. Even drove my wife to the emergency room a week later for an on-going condition that was causing concern.

During the neck recovery period, I made some decisions about my future activities. As some of you have said, its important to keep charging. But what I am letting go is road bike riding. I was worried about the danger long before my accident. Too many friends and acquaintances have had their own bike injuries that have required surgeries to repair.

And although its been a 40 year sport for me, I have decided to stop skiing.

It's no longer worth the risk to my otherwise strong and healthy life to continue these activities. At 64, I won't be bouncing back as quickly/fully as 30 year old might after a broken and torn whatever. I can still do a lot. The broken neck vertebrae have recovered strong (so I am told), but will never be "original" strong again. Two seasons ago, I still would aggressively go down the black diamond mogul fields. Now a hard post neck injury crash on the slopes might result in a nasty outcome. The risk/reward ratio is now skewed to the risk side. (Admittedly, over the last few years, I was becoming a little bored with skiing anyway.)

I will maintain my frequent/energetic tennis, walking, hiking, dedicated bike path riding (to/from my boat) and a slew of other physically demanding pasttimes ... Including sailing on San Francisco Bay.

We all want to keep charging for as long as we can. But still, some adjustments/sacrifices can make the difference between living a robust life for many many more years. Or being injured over the long term if health limitations are not factored in.

 

[Gunni]

Rardi;
If it matters, I also made the calculation and gave up road bicycling, skiing and motorcycling for most of the same reasons you did. Miss em all. A prioritization of risks. Hopefully you can both stay in sailing for all the rejuvenating benefits.

 

[Daveinet]

I would strongly suggest getting a trimaran or cat. Those are going to be much more stable, and much less likely to slip and fall. Secondly, since those boats are designed to sail level, the seats face forward. A good sized cat will have a very open cockpit. So much so, you could probably custom bolt in a chair, with padding in all the right places, and strap her down to it. OK, so that would be worst case scenario, but you could go to that extreme and make it work. You may need to add extra grab rails.

The thing about cats is that because the pontoons are narrow, they do not lift as much going over waves. They tend to punch through, so you have a lot less motion than in a monohull. Its really very different.

 

[kimelmore]

I say put her in some sort of protective gear. Give her some sort of harness to hold onto and let the ferry wakes come on thru. She shouldn't have to give up something that gives her such pleasure ( and your companionship ) just because some Doctor has the nerve to question what you do for fun. You aren't asking her to Roller Derby.

 

[Benny17441]

I also gave up road cycling as traffic has gotten too bad and drivers seem less proficient, but I substituted it for single track mountain biking. Since then I have taken a couple of falls but the dirt is actually rather soft. I still keep my road Cannondale to ride in closed paths.

 

[capta]

I'm with the majority here, it's your wife's call. After all, any of us could be seriously injured at any time in the bath or on the front steps. In her place I wouldn't let anyone wrap me in cotton balls or bubble wrap just because something might happen.
I shall not lie on my deathbed regretting the things I DIDN'T do!

 

[sailnewbie]

Here's how I see it, let her sail, obviously you can solo sail and don't need help so get her aboard and get her comfortable, with her drinks,snacks, phone whatever in arms reach and do your thing. I would much rather my wife be in my view to where if something was to happen I could help, rather than something happening at home and she has to lay there with out help. Let her sail or sale the boat.

 

[Daveinet]

I would also add that I have a medical condition that affects and could put limits on what I can do. But, I adjust. I've chosen the boat I chose, because it has facilities. I no longer sail my Hobie Cat. I bought a motorhome several years back because it enables me to travel, which would otherwise be difficult. You still do everything you normally would do, but do it differently. Make the changes and enjoy life. Make it work. Don't just stop or take chances. Fix the risk. These are the battles to be won in life.