The intimidation of inanimate objects

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Jan 22, 2003
744
Hunter 25_73-83 Burlington NJ
Just so we all have it straight, here is the official hieracrhy or taxonomy on this crucial and distinctly masculine subject: THE INTIMIDATION OF INANIMATE OBJECTS. Stage 1. Primeval grunts and groans. 'Grrrr.... Errraghhhh.... Er-ugh! Er-ugh!' Women back away, stop asking if they can help. Stage 2. Curse words. The above, plus 'Sh*t! Son of a b*tch! G*d-d**n it! F***!' etc. Women block ears, leave room, get kids out of earshot. Stage 3. Excessive force Any or all of the above, plus use of pry bars, braker bars, extension handles, mallets, body weight, feet, etc. Women start looking round for any better-qualified help– silently. Stage 4. Unrestrained violence. ALL of the above, plus jumping, kicking, swinging wild uncontrollable strokes with hammer or sledge, forfeiting of all concern for breaking something or incurring major financial burden in mad desire to MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN! Women phone 911– then possibly undertaker or divorce attorney. J Cherubini II
 
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Brian Pickton

Me man, you nut

Dec.6, 2000 Dear J Thanks for the smile. She Who Must Be Obeyed thought I was the only sailor employing this known scientific technique on recalcitrant inanimate objects. Mind you I usually start the sequence with a statement defining the issue to be resolved like, "Me man, you nut," which I find always helps clarify my thinking. Brian Pickton@BeneteauOwners.net Aboard the Legend, Rodney Bay St. Lucia
 
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Carl and Juliana Dupre

Stage 5

Stage 5 - Woman solve problem. Quietly. Carl & Jule Dupre s/v Syzygy
 
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Colin Campbell

Stage 5 explained!

Woman sells boat! No more boat, no more problem!
 
Jan 22, 2003
744
Hunter 25_73-83 Burlington NJ
Stage five

Newly unattached woman applies Liquid Wrench, turns nut easily, uses lithium grease on reassembly, and sails boat to BVI, finding unattached Tom Cruise-lookalike, with preference for older sun-worn women in swimsuits, serving very large strawberry dacquiris on Jost. End of story. See? –man got sense of humour!!! JC
 
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