Even with 20-25knots true wind, if I reef and balance the boat accordingly and waves are not a big issue then I am quite comfortable. It really depends on the sea state.What is the most wind people are comfortable with their mid 30' boats? I have been out a couple times on my 343 in 20+iKTS and it is a bit sporty even with deeply reefed sails.
Also, how close to a run do you get with the swept back spreaders?
How close to run? Well, I really enjoy genoa on the spinakle pole on one side and main sail with a preventer on the other side. So it's 180 degrees. It feels really nice. But don't try it without a pole or both sails in the same direction. Anything above, let's say 120 degrees, is horrible.
As far as weatherhelm is concerned (which is the initial discussion) the Beneteau 361 also needs to be refeed quite early and the main sail, even a furling one like mine, has really a lot of power. Playing with the traveller and the main sheet is essential.