Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true, than be selfish and worry about my liver." --by Jack Handy I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. --Frank Sinatra An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with fools. --Ernest Hemingway A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. --W.C. Fields When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. --Henny Youngman 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? --Stephen Wright When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven! -- Brian O'Rourke Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. --Benjamin Franklin Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. --Dave Barry Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862! Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser. To some its a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group.
Quotable quotes for the drinkin' (person)
- Thread starter Steve Dion
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A
Andy
OK
Beer Joyce Kiljoy I think that I shall never hear a poem as lovely as a beer. The wonderful stuff Joe's Bar has on tap, with foamy base and snowy cap, the wonderful stuff I drink all day, until my memory melts away. Poems are made by fools, I fear, but only Schlitz can make a beer --Mad Magazine
Beer Joyce Kiljoy I think that I shall never hear a poem as lovely as a beer. The wonderful stuff Joe's Bar has on tap, with foamy base and snowy cap, the wonderful stuff I drink all day, until my memory melts away. Poems are made by fools, I fear, but only Schlitz can make a beer --Mad Magazine
D
David A Anderson
Another one.
Here is a quote from a famous French wine drinker a century, or two (or three) ago. Upon being offered a grape he remarked: "Interesting. I don't think I've ever taken my wine in capsule form before."
Here is a quote from a famous French wine drinker a century, or two (or three) ago. Upon being offered a grape he remarked: "Interesting. I don't think I've ever taken my wine in capsule form before."
C
Claude L.-Auger
And another one yet
Also from a wine drinker: "Wine is good for men, particularly when women drink it !"
Also from a wine drinker: "Wine is good for men, particularly when women drink it !"
K
Ken
Quote on a Mug
In college I was given a mug engraved with the following: "Ale, man, ale's the stuff to drink for fellows whom it hurts to think. So look into the pewter pot, to see the world as the world is not." I sure wish I knew what happened to that pewter mug!
In college I was given a mug engraved with the following: "Ale, man, ale's the stuff to drink for fellows whom it hurts to think. So look into the pewter pot, to see the world as the world is not." I sure wish I knew what happened to that pewter mug!
H
Henry Scurlock
T Jefferson on wine
"I have lived temperately . . . I double the doctor's recommendation of a glass and a half of wine a day and even treble it with a friend."
"I have lived temperately . . . I double the doctor's recommendation of a glass and a half of wine a day and even treble it with a friend."
R
R.W.Landau
P
Paul Akers
B
Bob Carlton
J
Joe
One to live by
"I'd rather be in a boat with a drink on the rocks than in the drink with a boat on the rocks!" Joe C. in NC
"I'd rather be in a boat with a drink on the rocks than in the drink with a boat on the rocks!" Joe C. in NC
P
Phil Decker
Norm Quotes
"Can I draw you a beer, Norm ?" "No, I know what they look like. Just pour me one." "How's a beer sound, Norm?" "I dunno. I usually finish them before they get a word in." "What's shaking, Norm?" "All four cheeks and a couple of chins." "What would you say to a nice beer, Normie?" "Going Down?" "What's new, Normie?" "Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're demanding beer." "What'll it be, Normie?" "Just the usual Coach. I'll have a froth of beer and a snorkel." "What would you say to a beer, Normie?" "Daddy wuvs you." "What'd you like, Normie?" "A reason to live. Give me another beer." "What'll you have, Normie?" "Well, I'm in a gambling mood Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap." "Looks like beer, Norm." "Call me Mister Lucky." "What'd you say, Norm?" "Any cheap, tawdry thing that will get me a beer." "What would you say to a beer, Norm?" "Hiya, sailor. New in town?" (Coming in from the rain) "Evening everybody." Everybody: "Norm!" "Still pouring, Norm?" "That's funny, I was about to ask you the same thing." "Whaddya say, Norm?" "Well, I never met a beer I didn't drink." "Hey Norm, how's the world been treating you?" "Like a baby treats a diaper." "Would you like a beer Mr.. Peterson?" "No, I'd like a dead cat in a glass." "How's life treating you?" "It's not, Sammy, but you can." "What's the story, Mr. Peterson?" "The Bobbsey twins go to the brewery. Let's cut to the happy ending." "Hey Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you." "I know, if she calls, I'm not here." "Beer, Norm?" "Have I gotten that predictable? Good." "What's going on, Mr. Peterson?" "A flashing sign in my gut that says, 'Insert beer here.'" "Hey Mr. Peterson, Jack Frost nipping at your nose?" "Yep, now let's get Joe Beer nipping at my liver, huh?" "What's going on, Mr. Peterson?" "Another layer for the winter, Wood." "Whatcha up to, Norm?" "My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall." "How's it going Mr. Peterson?" "Poor." "I'm sorry to hear that." "No, I mean pour." "How's life treating you, Norm?" "Like it caught me sleeping with its wife." "Women. Can't live with 'em ... pass the beer nuts." "What's going down, Normie?" "My butt cheeks on that bar stool." "Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?" "Alright, but stop me at one....make that one-thirty." "How's it going Mr. Peterson?" "It's a dog eat dog world, Woody and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear. "What's the story, Norm?" "Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer." "How's about a beer, Norm?" "That's that amber sudsy stuff, right? I've heard good things about it!" "What's going on, Mr. Peterson?" "The question is, `what's going 'in' Mr. Peterson?" A beer, please, Woody." "Can I pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?" "A little early isn't it, Woody?" "For a beer?" "No, for stupid questions."
"Can I draw you a beer, Norm ?" "No, I know what they look like. Just pour me one." "How's a beer sound, Norm?" "I dunno. I usually finish them before they get a word in." "What's shaking, Norm?" "All four cheeks and a couple of chins." "What would you say to a nice beer, Normie?" "Going Down?" "What's new, Normie?" "Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're demanding beer." "What'll it be, Normie?" "Just the usual Coach. I'll have a froth of beer and a snorkel." "What would you say to a beer, Normie?" "Daddy wuvs you." "What'd you like, Normie?" "A reason to live. Give me another beer." "What'll you have, Normie?" "Well, I'm in a gambling mood Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap." "Looks like beer, Norm." "Call me Mister Lucky." "What'd you say, Norm?" "Any cheap, tawdry thing that will get me a beer." "What would you say to a beer, Norm?" "Hiya, sailor. New in town?" (Coming in from the rain) "Evening everybody." Everybody: "Norm!" "Still pouring, Norm?" "That's funny, I was about to ask you the same thing." "Whaddya say, Norm?" "Well, I never met a beer I didn't drink." "Hey Norm, how's the world been treating you?" "Like a baby treats a diaper." "Would you like a beer Mr.. Peterson?" "No, I'd like a dead cat in a glass." "How's life treating you?" "It's not, Sammy, but you can." "What's the story, Mr. Peterson?" "The Bobbsey twins go to the brewery. Let's cut to the happy ending." "Hey Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you." "I know, if she calls, I'm not here." "Beer, Norm?" "Have I gotten that predictable? Good." "What's going on, Mr. Peterson?" "A flashing sign in my gut that says, 'Insert beer here.'" "Hey Mr. Peterson, Jack Frost nipping at your nose?" "Yep, now let's get Joe Beer nipping at my liver, huh?" "What's going on, Mr. Peterson?" "Another layer for the winter, Wood." "Whatcha up to, Norm?" "My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall." "How's it going Mr. Peterson?" "Poor." "I'm sorry to hear that." "No, I mean pour." "How's life treating you, Norm?" "Like it caught me sleeping with its wife." "Women. Can't live with 'em ... pass the beer nuts." "What's going down, Normie?" "My butt cheeks on that bar stool." "Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?" "Alright, but stop me at one....make that one-thirty." "How's it going Mr. Peterson?" "It's a dog eat dog world, Woody and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear. "What's the story, Norm?" "Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer." "How's about a beer, Norm?" "That's that amber sudsy stuff, right? I've heard good things about it!" "What's going on, Mr. Peterson?" "The question is, `what's going 'in' Mr. Peterson?" A beer, please, Woody." "Can I pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?" "A little early isn't it, Woody?" "For a beer?" "No, for stupid questions."
G
Glenn Bevensee
Darwin, and Beer.
I believe this is credited to Cliff, of "Cheers" fame... *** In the wild, the lions always attack the weakest, and slowest of the herd. This makes the rest of the herd faster, and overall helps the herd survive. Beer attacks the slowest brain cells, which why you're always smarter, after a few beers...
I believe this is credited to Cliff, of "Cheers" fame... *** In the wild, the lions always attack the weakest, and slowest of the herd. This makes the rest of the herd faster, and overall helps the herd survive. Beer attacks the slowest brain cells, which why you're always smarter, after a few beers...
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