Old joke . Just in time for the holiday

[Ross]

BAD Parrot
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The
parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.

Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious
and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to
change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only
polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could
think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot.
The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the
parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation,
threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the
freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked
and screamed.
Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard
for over a minute.

Fearing tha t he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened
the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out
onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I
may have offended you with my rude language and
actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my
inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do
everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a
dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very
softly, "May I ask what the turkey did?"


HAPPY THANKSGIVING (Early)

 

[Billbeard]

Thank you Ross
I enjoyed this so much I E-mailed this to everyone I know
Happy thanksgiving
Bill C

 

[Freedom77]

Loved it!!!
A young man felt bad because his mother lived alone and far away from him. He was in a pet shop one day and asked the owner for some advice on a pet for his Mom. The owner told him he was in luck. He had a parrot that spoke seven languages fluently. He bought the avian marvel and had it shipped to his beloved Mom. He called several days later.
"Mom, did you get the bird I sent you?"
"Yes, it Vas delicious."
"Mom, that bird spoke seven languages!"
"Zo, vhy didn't he Zay Zomething?.

More...
A priest was looking for a pet that he could keep in his small room behind the parish. He went to a pet store and the owner said,
"Padre, I got just the thing for you!"
He produced a parrot. The parrot had a gold chain attached to his left leg and a silver chain attached to right leg. "Okay, Father pull the gold chain." He did so. The Parrot recited the Lord's Prayer perfectly. The priest gasped in awe. "Pull the silver chain Father." The bird said the 23rd Psalm verbatum.
The Priest heard a heavenly choir and new he had to have this magnificent creature. He paid for the bird and as he was leaving the pet store asked, "What happens if I pull both chains at the same time?" The bird said, "I'll fall on my ass stupid!" Fair Winds and Full Sails...