New Financial Terms for 2008

[JonBill]

New Financial Terms for 2008

CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use

To borrow a line from Readers digest, "Laughter is the best medicine".
And we investors need lots of medicine these days!
Kind Regards,
JonBill

 

[Ctskip]

Thanks for the funnies.
Or are they ?
I hope you don't mind, but I sent them to some family back home for their enjoyment.

Keep it up,
Ctskip

 

[John Nantz]

Quadrillion (dollars)

And another new commonly used word: Quadrillion.

Quadrillion is a number followed by 15 zeros. And even though a zero stands for "nothing", when they follow a number they mean something, and fifteen of 'em means a heck of a lot!

Quadrillion, as a number, is really difficult to fathom.

With the national bailout of those who made bad get-rich-quick investments, and the letting the schisters that sold everybody a bill of goods off the hook, they had to add a new digit to the National Debt Clock.

Link to an Associated Press article: http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5iiPw_tglRSoNHLEBU6rOVlBiZbnQD93P59G82

When was the last time you heard someone say "We're the richest nation on Earth."

Somehow "richest nation" and a national debt in the range of "quadrillion" don't seem to go together.

 

[Ctskip]

Re: Quadrillion (dollars)

I guess it all depends on what one considers wealth. My Dad considers his wealth to be numbers in the check book . I consider wealth to be numbers in my address book.

Hey , If we can forgive the indebtedness of other nations we can certainly forgive ours to other nations as well. What are they going to do? Take over our deli-marts? Gas stations? Buy Wall street? Maybe they'll buy my house. Want a nice house in the burbs? It's only a thing, and it's only a thing, if you make it a thing.

Keep it up,
Ctskip