I'm with
@Ward H . If you are going to the Metedeconk River, Manasquan Inlet is the place to enter. Barnegat Inlet is too far south, unless, of course, you're coming from the south. But, reportedly, you are coming from the north. I doubt there is much difference between the 2 inlets. Both have jetties on both sides, both have to be approached correctly & both will have current and significant boat traffic. Manasquan is a major sport fishing hub. You will see some really expensive sport fishers going in and out and they don't really show much consideration. You will be waked! I think you will find more sport fishing traffic at Manasquan, and I'm not sure you can get much rest between the inlet & your destination. I haven't been in the canal in a sailboat. I tried it in my ski boat once going against the current from Bayhead (the head of Barnegat Bay. It was a disaster. We were swamped over the bow twice by the standing waves. We turned tail and retreated in a hurry, with a lot of unwanted water in the boat. Coordination and timing with the bridges may be tricky!
Barnegat Inlet isn't as scary as many people say, except there are probably times when it lives up to it's reputation and you don't want to be there then. Saturday, Sue & I were sailing and within 15 minutes we heard 2 reports over Channel 16 about incidents in Barnegat Inlet. One was a Formula powerboat swamped and sinking in the middle of the inlet with 4 people apparently in the water. The other was a stern-drive runabout that was on the jetty rocks. It was being pulled off by Sea Tow and CG didn't need to get involved. Sue said that she's not going out the inlet. I reminded her how easily she already has and you can't judge the danger by idiots on a Saturday afternoon!
If you are not in a hurry, you can enjoy a nice sail going by Manasquan Inlet and enter at Barnegat Inlet. You can anchor at Barnegat Light, which is a very popular anchorage for transients. You can wind through Oyster Creek channel and sail again in the bay. It is a pleasant trip from Oyster Creek to the Metedeconk River and will take about 4 hours, maybe less. You'll pass under one low-stress bridge opening at Route 37 & also the Mantaloking Bridge. At Rte 37 there are actually 2 bridges. The older, westbound bridge is higher & fixed, called the Tunney Bridge. The newer, east-bound bridge, is the bridge that must be opened for you and it only opens on a half-hour schedule when there is sailboat traffic. I believe it's the Mathis Bridge. They are side-by-side. Don't call it by the wrong name or Rte 37 Bridge. I think you may not get an answer. It should be called the Mathis Bridge or the Thomas A Mathis Bridge to get an answer. They'll tell you the next scheduled opening. The depth gets constrained to the channels as you get north towards the bridges (you are passing Toms River at that point) and the depth is far more constraining north of the bridges to the Metedeconk, but we have sailed in some fairly wide areas there with 4' draft. You won't have any trouble in Oyster Creek Channel as long as you stay within the markers. There is one area where the channel has been dredged in a straight line while Navionics and other charts show an older, more winding diversion. The channel is marked with red & green numbered buoys and they are correct. Trust the markers.
Ward is right. DO NOT follow the powerboats when you are in the marked channels. Some surprisingly large boats are planing thru 3' to 4' depth outside the channels because they know the conditions. If you follow them, you WILL run aground. The Bay is shallow and has many areas where lack of depth can get you. As long as you pay attention to the contour lines on the charts and pay CLOSE attention to marked channels, you will be fine. Lose your focus at the wrong time and you may need Sea Tow!