I Need Some Boating Jokes!!!

[Mark]

Hi Everyone!I am hosting our Power and Sail Squadron Annual meeting tomorrow night, and I could use some fresh material. Does anyone have any good boating (power or sail) jokes or stories? If you have a funny (clean) joke please pass it along.Thanks a million in advance.Markps: Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

 

[Henry Scurlock]

here's one

The navy admiral retired and hired his orderly of over twenty five years to come with him. The admiral told the orderly that even though he would now work for him personally, his duties would be exactly the same as they were in the navy. On the first morning of the admiral's retirement the orderly came into the admiral's room and woke him. Then the orderly slapped the admiral's sleeping wife on the behind saying, "Okay, honey, it's back onshore for you!"

 

[Al Sandrik]

This might help....

...or then again it may not! I don't think this counts as "clean" and its a bit long.A businessman was asked if he would fill in and give a speach to a local club the next day. He agreed and was informed that the previously agreed upon subject would be "sailing." Since he only had limited experience with the sport he decided that he would go to the library the night before and research the subject. As he was entering the library his cell phone rang. The caller informed him that they had made a terrible mistake and his subject matter was actually supposed to be about "sex." Since he was already at the library, he decided to remain there and research the new subject. He arrived at home late he didn't wake his wife, and the next day he left for work never informing her of the change of subject. At lunch he gave a great speach on "sex" which was very well recieved by the audience. later that afternoon one of the audience members saw his wife in the store and told her how interesting and informative her husband's talk had been expounding on how he truly was a master of the subject. Still thinking her husband's speach was on sailing she was suprised and remarked, "Jeez, that's amazing. He's only done it once and he fell off at that!"

 

[bob q]

boat joke?

Hey, where's all that water coming from?