How to get your wife (husband) to live on a boat

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jibes138

jibes138

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Jan 27, 2008
3,086
ODay 35 Beaufort, NC
In discussing retirement with my wife I suggested "why don't we move onto the boat, go cruising and seeing the world?" The response "I am not living on a boat."

So those that have wives living on boats, how did you go about convincing them what a great idea this is? Did you have to hire a hypnotist to plant suggestions in their head for instance? Any other ideas?
 
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Steve Dion

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Dec 2, 1999
15,184
Hunter Vision-36 Rio Vista, CA.
1. They have got to want to live on a boat to begin with.
2. Where are you going to store 100 pair of shoes.
3. What are you going to do to replace 27 ft of hanging closet space (just for her).

You would be better off trying to live with a bobcat in a cage for a week than try to persuade her to do this if she does not have the inclination.

Another thought, why don't you go to the hypnotist and see if he/she can get this thought out of your mind! That is what I would do.
 
Tim R.

Tim R.

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May 27, 2004
3,626
Caliber 40 Long Range Cruiser Portland, Maine
Get a boat she/he likes. My wife likes many of hte same things I do so finding the right boat was not too difficult.

Luckily my wife wants to live on a boat and see the world from our little home.
 
Bob S

Bob S

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Sep 27, 2007
1,802
Beneteau 393 New Bedford, MA
How about making each adventure longer. Slowly extend your cruising range. My wife has said the same. This being our third year, I can tell she's enjoying the boat more. I actually got her out for a week! Last season a long weekend was tough.
 
Peggie Hall HeadMistress

Peggie Hall HeadMistress

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Dec 2, 1997
8,939
- - LIttle Rock
My idea of the minimum live-aboard boat

Space for the grand piano and a professional crew of 3, one of whom is a gourmet cook.

I'm negotiable when it comes whether the piano is a grand or a spinet.
 
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Steve Kamp

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May 7, 2004
252
Hunter 38 Little River, SC
While traveling by truck and camper trailer and visiting our son in Florida one summer we were running down US 1 parallel to Indian River/Hobe Sound/Jupiter and she saw some sailboats on the waterway. She perks up and says,"can we do that someday?"
Following events included a car trip to San Fransico/Alameda, looking at marinas and boats, a couple of boat shows and ASA lessons. We then found a dealer who presented us with the purchase of a H-260, an invitation to a pursuit type race, and towing the 260 to every body of water in the Southeast in which it would float.
After 10 days on Florida's St.Johns River between Palatka and Jacksonville, she says to me,"we need a bigger boat."
We have not totally cut the land umbilical, but we do spend three to six months at a time on board "Carolina", sailing from New Bern and cruising from the Chesapeake to the Abacos.
Looking back the camping experience was probably the best indicator of how it would go-- if you can develop enthusiasm for living in a portable 8 x 24 foot box you can deal with the changes in life style imposed by cruising in a similar sized area on the water.
 
Sailm8

Sailm8

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Feb 21, 2008
1,750
Hunter 29.5 Punta Gorda
Living on a boat was my dream (note the my) and my wife said no. Her reason was she needed a home base. I wanted to sell all of our crap and cut the strings. I had to respect her opinion and we compromised. We sold the big house and all of the nonessential crap and moved to a sailing area an a small condo. We have a boat for coastal cruising in the canal behind the house and a group of sailing friends that are always up for an extended sail to say the Bahamas or the Keys. Having other wives around who talk sailing and go sailing has had a huge influence on my wife. She sees something in common and has friends to exchange ideas and stories.
She was right about the home base. As I have matured I have found that it was the camaraderie of being among like minded people doing the things I liked that was my real attraction. I enjoyed the voyage no matter how long or short. Sailors are a great bunch, and for me is a large part of why I sail. (Does that ever sound gay). Anyway we can jump in the boat and go whenever we want and this is almost as good as really doing it. We at least have found a successful compromise.
 
seadaddler

seadaddler

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Dec 19, 2006
5,832
Hunter 36 Punta Gorda
Does She???????

Does she like boating,does she she enjoy spending weekends and the big question is she asking to go or do some more boating if not no chance she is living on a boat unless it is a cruise ship maybe.
If she says I will fly to see the world these are all clues to tell you she is not one of many woman who would no way live on board a sailboat.
I really have to work hard at getting my wife to go cruising for a week or longer even just a weekend is hard these days,how I got her to go cruising for 3 weeks in 2007 is some thing I am scratching my head for every time I ask to go cruising,maybe that's it she did it in 2007 and had agreat time and afraid I will want more and more,so now she does go day sailing with friends and even once in awhile we go for a few days but she can do with out boating if I sold it tomorrow,but insist I keepthe boat so she can send me out sailing for her free time and sanity.
Isn't love just great,save your money and give it up and find a few friends to go cruising with.
Nick
 
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Steve Dion

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Dec 2, 1999
15,184
Hunter Vision-36 Rio Vista, CA.
Steve:

I really do not think we can compare a 24 travel trailer to even a 30-35 ft. boat. We she is pissed off at you, you cannot step outside and take that little walk until someone cools off (unless you really want to "cool off").

Making a commitment to cruising and living aboard is hugh. Maybe a 90ft vessel would help, but I don't know.
 
Ross

Ross

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Jun 15, 2004
14,693
Islander/Wayfairer 30 sail number 25 Perryville,Md.
Last winter we got about seven feet of snow in several storms. The high temperature in Key West was 54 degrees and the high temperature in Bel Air MD was 55 degrees at the same time.. With central heat and a stack of new books and a double bed that she can walk around selling her on living on a boat isn't going to happen.
 
Phil Herring

Phil Herring

Alien
Mar 25, 1997
4,923
- - Bainbridge Island
Having tried this and failed I know exactly what I did wrong. Short of divorce (the most dependable method, assuming you get the boat) here's a few strategies:

Remember this at all times: Take your time. There's no rush.

Plan A: Make sure you have the boat clean and most important, not smelling like mold and stale sewage.

Pick a week when the when the weather is likely to be perfect. Not just good, perfect. 75-80. No heat waves, no rain, no waterspouts.

Don't go anywhere. Sailing is work and diesels are loud and you're selling her on a new home, not sailing. Tie up at a nice dock in a city or some place where she can shop or do things she likes. Invite people she likes to the boat. Have lots of wine. Do a lot of grilling in a way so there aren't a ton of dishes to clean in that tiny sink.

After she has a magnificent week take her to a boat show and lead her to a Hylas 46 or Hunter 50 or Catalina 470 or Beneteau 473.

Plan B: Book a Charter on a 50 footer in the BVI. Take some good friends. Do it in high season when the weather is _perfect_.

Plan C: Waterboarding.

It's very possible none of these plans will work but they're the best shot you've got.
 
Jfelkins

Jfelkins

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Jun 19, 2010
131
Oday 23 Percy Priest TN
One thing I do when I want to get my wife on board is, I do all the work. I cook, I clean, I tote. I make better food camping than I do at home. It might be harder on me but in the long run she associates the good times with the activity. The comments about pacing are also key. When we got married she had a dog that I knew had to go. She wasn't ready to get rid of him. I was patient and not hostile towards the dog. It took me two years but she finally saw the truth for her self and asked me to deal with him. I struck lightening fast and before she got home from shopping that day he was gone (at the no kill shelter).
 
J

jimmyb

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Feb 12, 2010
231
Precison 165 NA
Ooooh boy you are askin for trouble! I find keeping 'em happy pays much better dividends. After the divorce you will find it hard to sail only half that beautiful boat of yours. :doh:

jimmyb
 
Snotter

Snotter

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Sep 25, 2008
615
Morgan 415 Out Island Rogersville, AL
Golly, it is times like this that I am glad to be single.
 
W

Winkfish

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Jul 28, 2010
914
Boston Whaler Montauk New Orleans
Snotter said:
Golly, it is times like this that I am glad to be single.
Click to expand
I'm actually blessed to have a wife who loves sailing, bareboat charters, etc. I don't know about living on a boat (I'm not even sure I'd like to live permanently on a boat).
 
BobM

BobM

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Jun 10, 2004
3,269
S2 9.2A Winthrop, MA
Wow...your Wife goes aboard your boat? We had to make an agreement. My Wife stays home if she doesn't feel like sailing so she doens't feel obligated to go on my account...thus avoiding ruining both our days by making the trip a living hell.
 
wonkodsane

wonkodsane

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Jul 25, 2009
270
Catalina 1989 C30 Mk II Herrington Harbour South, MD
We learned together and love it.

She's a better helmsman than I under sail, where I'm better under power.

Think Fred and Ted. (-:
 
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