My preferred response to heavy winds will vary with the particular boat in question. On a 40+ foot Tartan, I've come in sailing under bare poles with good results. That boat had a lot of free board & a lot of hull windage. On most boats, & especially on boats that are not built like a brick, I generally prefer to reach for a trysail. This guy gives you a general idea of one way to do it -
On most boats, I prefer to not attach the trysail to the track on the mast, but instead just lash the tack in tight above the gooseneck, run a ring or lashed loop around the mast where the halyard connects to the head of the trysail & depending on the boat, I may run the sheet to the boom or I may run it elsewhere. The guy in the video took a long time to get his trysail rigged. On a 35ish foot boat, I've done it in under 3 minutes with one other person helping me. ...in squall conditions
A heavily reefed main & no jib is my plan B on most boats. On some boats, I will run a small jib & no main. It depends on the boat. It depends on the balance of the sail plan. It depends on the geometric relationship between the location of the keel/centerboard & the location of the mast. In very heavy weather, I very much want to maintain weather helm. I also do not want to allow myself to rely on the motor as my only source of propulsion. In heavy weather, (if not racing) I like to have the motor running & a very small amount of canvas up. If the motor quits & you have no canvas up while you are in heavy weather, the quality of your day is is likely to decrease rapidly.
In very heavy conditions, I don't try to sail too close to the wind. I just get through it & go back to pointing better after conditions improve.
When sailing in very heavy weather (trysail is up), EVERYONE wears a PFD, even the guys down below, and anyone on deck MUST be clipped in. Those are the rules on my boat.