My wife can't stand the boat, she hates everything about it. She hates the rigging up, the leaning over in the wind, the rigging down, driving on the trailer. I do everything my self, including sailing alone. She says why i didnt get something different. But i love sailing. The few times she went we fight the whole time. If we bring company im going to make her stay in the trk while i rig & derig. Anyone els same problem?
wifes hatting the boat
- Thread starter jake409
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I don’t have the same problem, but I definitely enjoy it more than my family does. My daughter comes in 2nd, and my wife has been trying to get out as well. My son doesn’t like it at all.
The tough thing is for you to do enough so crew or family don’t feel burdened, yet having them do enough so they’re invested in going out in the first place. One big difference for us is our boat is in a slip, so there is no rigging/ launching, etc. to worry about. Makes things much easier. Any anything that makes the tedious parts of sailing shorter gives you a better chance of reducing stress and having more fun.
That's a tough one...has she always had a distaste for sailing (from day one) or did you possibly do something to scare her off (maybe out in too heavy of weather...?)
I actually had that problem on land (motorcycles) she used to like to ride, but a couple of too fast and furious trips and she was done...never could get her to go again...That's a big part of taking up sailing...something she showed an interest in and something we can do together
Now with the sailboat, I'll be taking it "extremely" easy with her...fair weather sailing only (for the most part) and reefing and very conservative if we do get caught in some "weather"...Much too important to keep her happy for the long term, than to have a little excitement for a short jaunt and lose her approval overall...
Good luck with that and hope it works out for the better...
I actually had that problem on land (motorcycles) she used to like to ride, but a couple of too fast and furious trips and she was done...never could get her to go again...That's a big part of taking up sailing...something she showed an interest in and something we can do together
Now with the sailboat, I'll be taking it "extremely" easy with her...fair weather sailing only (for the most part) and reefing and very conservative if we do get caught in some "weather"...Much too important to keep her happy for the long term, than to have a little excitement for a short jaunt and lose her approval overall...
Good luck with that and hope it works out for the better...
Mine is the same way. I work around it by sailing with friends and soloing a lot. I've gotten a bigger boat so that she will feel more comfortable but have not gotten her aboard yet. There days when she protest less for my sake. I only take her out when the wind is less than 10 kts and the waves under 2 ft. I am careful to keep the heel to a minimum. She enjoys seeing the wild life, but the knowledge that there's a great white out there stalking us still terrifies her. She will not sail to Catalina with me but instead takes the jet boat over and will sleep on the moored boat. She likes riding around in the dink and exploring the harbor. She prefers Avalon to Two Harbors though she has never been to Two Harbors (life is a compromise, as long as I am the one who is compromising.) Things that help ease the tension are rum and coke and a CD of Carrie Underwood, those are compromises I can live with. Most of the guys I sail with have wives that don't participate.
Before mastup storage where I can now launch in about 10 to 15 min., rigging was a real drag especially while she was impatiently huffing and puffing. Fortunately there is a nice strip mall across from the launch where she would shop while I rigged. When ready to shove off I would give her a call and she would walk over to the launch.
We've tolerated each other for the last 33 yrs and somehow manage to make it work.
Before mastup storage where I can now launch in about 10 to 15 min., rigging was a real drag especially while she was impatiently huffing and puffing. Fortunately there is a nice strip mall across from the launch where she would shop while I rigged. When ready to shove off I would give her a call and she would walk over to the launch.
We've tolerated each other for the last 33 yrs and somehow manage to make it work.
I think a good way to get the family involved is to get them in a course so that they understand the parts of a sailboat and the purposes for those parts.
If you can't afford a class, maybe a book/video type course would help.
When I was growing up, holding the old flashlight for dad while he worked on the car was just about the most boring thing a kid could do. If I had understood what he was doing and was given an actual task I'd have been much happier and wanted to help.
Once they (family) learn the hows and whys, take turns being captain, only stepping in if something is going bad. Not following an exact course or making little mistakes is not a big deal.
Understanding will increase the comfort factor and the understanding that healing is not dangerous and sail boats are made to do that. Monohulls anyway!
One thing I've seen (and did when I was starting out) is captains (male owner of the boat) getting frustrated because they themselves were not comfortable and yelling at the crew. Huge mistake.
A friend used to have a sticker next to the companionway on his boat that said "have you flogged your crew today?". When asked, he said it reminded him not to turn into a Captain Bligh and that he was out there to relax.
If it's not fun why do it?
If you can't afford a class, maybe a book/video type course would help.
When I was growing up, holding the old flashlight for dad while he worked on the car was just about the most boring thing a kid could do. If I had understood what he was doing and was given an actual task I'd have been much happier and wanted to help.
Once they (family) learn the hows and whys, take turns being captain, only stepping in if something is going bad. Not following an exact course or making little mistakes is not a big deal.
Understanding will increase the comfort factor and the understanding that healing is not dangerous and sail boats are made to do that. Monohulls anyway!
One thing I've seen (and did when I was starting out) is captains (male owner of the boat) getting frustrated because they themselves were not comfortable and yelling at the crew. Huge mistake.
A friend used to have a sticker next to the companionway on his boat that said "have you flogged your crew today?". When asked, he said it reminded him not to turn into a Captain Bligh and that he was out there to relax.
If it's not fun why do it?
My wife is the same way. I get around it by going by myself. If she wants to come she knows she is welcome but I'm not chasing her. It is my addiction and love so if she can't embrace it then she can except my absents.
About the only thing I stand tall for so I get away with it.
About the only thing I stand tall for so I get away with it.
same here...
but I really learned to like the time I spend either alone or sailing with the guys and few cold ones. The hard part, I think, is that I find myself feeling guilty that I am out having so much fun that I tend to rush back home too soon.
I also find myself getting a bit short tempered during the summer when the wind starts picking up and I become fixated on watching the wind blow the leaves on the trees when I'm with the family and not on the boat.
I do hope to get my 3yr old girl sailing as soon as I can. I hope she falls in love with being on the water. I hope she finds it more interesting than shopping, going to the mall, going out with boys, having sex in cars, ...... maybe I should just lock her in the cabin until shes 27.
but I really learned to like the time I spend either alone or sailing with the guys and few cold ones. The hard part, I think, is that I find myself feeling guilty that I am out having so much fun that I tend to rush back home too soon.
I also find myself getting a bit short tempered during the summer when the wind starts picking up and I become fixated on watching the wind blow the leaves on the trees when I'm with the family and not on the boat.
I do hope to get my 3yr old girl sailing as soon as I can. I hope she falls in love with being on the water. I hope she finds it more interesting than shopping, going to the mall, going out with boys, having sex in cars, ...... maybe I should just lock her in the cabin until shes 27.
I am like timebandit...
Sailing is not my wife's favorite thing but she enjoys going out with me, seeing the wild life and driving the boat. I work the sails. She helps me with the rigging up and down and saves me 30 minutes each time. I keep the healing down to 15 Deg. unless we have the grandkids on board. They like to heal way over and touch the water. MacGregor 26D's are a great family boat.
Lucky Me!
Sailing is not my wife's favorite thing but she enjoys going out with me, seeing the wild life and driving the boat. I work the sails. She helps me with the rigging up and down and saves me 30 minutes each time. I keep the healing down to 15 Deg. unless we have the grandkids on board. They like to heal way over and touch the water. MacGregor 26D's are a great family boat.
Lucky Me!
I know I'm lucky, because my wife loves the boat and everything about sailing. She is happiest when the sails fill, the engine is shut down, and we are in the groove. And she loves adventure, insisted we take the boat to Massachusetts right after we got it. We were living on the West Coast of Florida at the time, and we've done the trip 3 times now. Couldn't have done it without her. My first wife, however, hated the water and all the boats I was involved in. Even complained when I took the kids out for the day. Finally, she said, "You know, it's either me or the boat......"
Mine cannot stand the boat, not because of the water or wind or anything, but because of claustriphobia. At first I found this hillarious, because I see the boat as a means to go anywhere I wish, under the arch of heaven as it were. She sees a cramped cockpit, an even more cramped cabin, and no way to get off after we've left the pier.
After being married 20 years, we respect each others' needs, and as long as I'm not abandoning her every single weekend, we make it work. She has her activities and I have mine, and occasionally we overlap. Our way isn't for everyone, and I dearly wish she'd enjoy it as much as I do, but that's life and one of the reasons we love each other is for our differences - we've very yin/yang, not clones of each other.
I wish you fair winds and understanding women.
To wives and sweethearts. May they never meet.
After being married 20 years, we respect each others' needs, and as long as I'm not abandoning her every single weekend, we make it work. She has her activities and I have mine, and occasionally we overlap. Our way isn't for everyone, and I dearly wish she'd enjoy it as much as I do, but that's life and one of the reasons we love each other is for our differences - we've very yin/yang, not clones of each other.
I wish you fair winds and understanding women.
To wives and sweethearts. May they never meet.
Naw, just one very good girlfriend.:dance:
She gets everything ready, packs the clothes, cleans the boat and all I have to do is get us there.
She may even be a better sailor than me.
AND I am not just saying that because she is standing behind me.:naughty:
And she nevers complains about 170 mph on the motorcycle unless we are behind and then she wants more.
Life is good.
She gets everything ready, packs the clothes, cleans the boat and all I have to do is get us there.
She may even be a better sailor than me.
AND I am not just saying that because she is standing behind me.:naughty:
And she nevers complains about 170 mph on the motorcycle unless we are behind and then she wants more.
Life is good.
Mine always claims she has foot-itish. When we met I had a 17ft., upped to a C22 so the two of us would have plenty of room. Almost immediately she said "if we only had a bigger boat, maybe I'd enjoy it more". I upped to a C27, soon followed she wants a 30 or maybe a 35, then MAYBE she'd enjoy it more. So if I invest more than I paid for our house she might be happier, Okidokey.
Oh, envy sucks...Naw, just one very good girlfriend.:dance:
She gets everything ready, packs the clothes, cleans the boat and all I have to do is get us there.
She may even be a better sailor than me.
AND I am not just saying that because she is standing behind me.:naughty:
And she nevers complains about 170 mph on the motorcycle unless we are behind and then she wants more.
Life is good.
What size boat do you have? Some women are like cats, they resist getting wet. If your boat is large enough she can stay reasonably dry the whole day, that may help. Mine hated sailing in 13' boats. Now that I have sailboats twice as big, she enjoys it a lot more.
It's always something. Learn to compromise and all will work out. (both sides) our house has the opposite issue. We just try to balance things as much as possible and at times do our own thing. Having some informal lessons for the spouse helps them feel more involved and invested. Being in a club environment helps too for the social aspect. SC
Keep the boat, get new wife.
I am in same boat, doing mod to reduce heel, and she is coming around
I am in same boat, doing mod to reduce heel, and she is coming around
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