I have usually made some sort of comment, indirectly about being the skipper during the motor out saftey talk, but probably not enough. You're right that ill have to be very clear about that point from now on, and specifically mention not helping unless instructed to do so, before the lines are ever cast off. I haven't been that direct in the past because like i said, its never even been an issue. People always offer to help the whole time, but usually they don't know enough to even try to start doing things...and the ones that do have experience...know not to just jump in and do things, and still ask what they can do.Before you allow anyone on your boat always make it clear that you're the skipper... aka the boss.... if they want to be the skipper... let them buy a boat and host the inmates.
One more thing.... I get it because you're young... but you really need to be more selective choosing crew, guests and friends. Maybe it's time to save the drinking till after the sailing.
When I worked on tall ships in Florida, for the entire docking or disembarking procedure (including coming into or leaving the marina) it was mandatory silence for all guests, and they were to stay down below or in the center of the deck until instructed otherwise or specifically asked for help. Just like you said, we did't need any kids or their gung ho parents trying to stop a 75ft steel schooner.Glad it turned out okay for you, the boat, and everyone involved. For most of the story (him being a complete jerk) I probably would have done exactly the same as you. Once he threw you off though near a spinning propeller (felony assault), having already threatened your life (in front of witnesses) and having stole your boat (in front of witnesses), I would have been tempted to just swim ashore, let him damage the boat, and call the police. It ended up being fine for you... so in hindsight... your choice was right.... but at that point he was quite certainly an enraged felon, and getting back on the boat could have ended badly. Your boat (or any boat) isn't worth risking your life for... and there's no doubt in my mind that threatening your life followed by shoving you off your own moving boat would be enough to get him in big legal trouble. In hindsight, you have to admit that you were close enough to shore that climbing back aboard wasn't something you did to protect yourself, you did it to protect your boat from him. Luckily it all ended well though, and you could certainly have handled it a lot WORSE than you did.
My wife and I swap back and forth between "Captain" responsibilities while underway, but we're both competent, and both co-owners. And while I DO often offer to let guests (or my kids) "steer" from time to time, it is ALWAYS far from any trouble... light wind... nowhere near a point of sail where they might accidentally gybe... nowhere near shore, or shallows... or other boats... or marinas... or 30 kts of wind. On a calm, sunny day when there's nothing to hit within a 15 minute sail.
I also agree (with other posters) that it is a very good idea to explain some things for safety as newer boaters board... Mostly, my rule is that you should NOT try to be helpful unless it is by following an instruction that I (or my wife) just gave you. The more common example of people trying to be helpful is trying to fend while docking and putting arms or legs between a dock and a 15,000lb boat. I also generally point out what they should do in the extremely unlikely case of me falling overboard... stuff like that. A brief rundown of a few safety tips helps keep them safe, but also subtly reminds them that I'm the guy who knows stuff they never even thought of so I'm the one worth listening to.
well im taking some co workers in two weekends (one of said co worker friends is a competent sailor so i won't have to do everything), sadly for everyone here there should be no drama, as abel will never set foot near a boat with me againWhen are you guys going sailing again? I can hardly wait for a recap....
Either that or just kick him in the shackles.Your friend was embarrassed from the very beginning. You are probably right about the girl too. He'd talked himself up so much that, when it came time to prove himself, there was no way, in his mind, to back down. In his efforts to save face and show that he did know what he was doing, his aggression escalated while he convinced himself that you were undermining him to try and make a fool of him.
Once a situation like that gets past a curtain point, there is no way to see it do anything but get worse. He's running on emotions and paranoia and desperation. His higher order thinking has shut down. It's like he's being attacked and fight or flight responses are all he can do.
Without the threat of imminent damage to your boat or danger to him, your guests or you, the only thing that would work would be to back off and let him know you aren't trying to hurt him. Give him a moment to settle down and recover the blood flow to his brain. Sit down next to him, not face to face, and ask what he needs from you. Explain what you're trying to do. Hopefully, he'd start to see that backing down was the only way to recover for him.
I think as long as you don't first put her in a bucket, it's not considered dumping... I have a sister who will never step onto my boat. If she did, I wouldn't first stuff her in a bucket....I almost threw my sister-in-law into San Diego Bay once. But there was a law about dumping trash within territorial waters. Does that count?
Let me just clarify.Either that or just kick him in the shackles.
as long as the guy is smaller than I am. Otherwise, none violent solutions are always preferable.Frankly, I'd have chucked him off my boat the moment I had to swim out to climb aboard
Reminds me - when we moved up in size from 30' to 40' my wife and I thought we were in a palace. My sister came aboard for an evening to watch 4th of July fireworks, and she says "...I don't know how you guys can go for a week in such a small space". It's tough to get respect from a sister.I have a sister