I think we finally nailed it, especially when presented to the Admiral, she exclaimed....I got you babe!!!
Ha, that's cute, but "nailed it" feels a bit close to the bone.
I might have insisted on one more guideline...
11) Must not invoke the memory of any dead guys tragically killed in a sport they loved.
Now, the Admiral is one fine lady, but tell me, has she been hangin' round any rock legends lately? Maybe singing little songs like, "Y o u 're m y b l u e - s k y y o u 're m y S U N N Y d a y"? Or maybe talking like, "We tied off to the whippin' post", when you know she meant dock piling?
Haaardy haaar haar! - I like your choice!
". . . a n d t h e b e a t g o e s o n . . ."