Its funny Friday!
- Thread starter rgranger
- Start date
Considering the Double Eagle went on to become the most successful party boat in Clearwater for decades to come, not too bad a luck.
-Will (Dragonfly)
-Will (Dragonfly)
A mathematician is having problems with a leaky sink, so he calls a plumber.
The plumber comes over and quickly fixes the sink. The professor is happy until he gets the bill. He tells the plumber, "This is outrageous! You charge more for an hour than I make in a whole day!"
The plumber tells him, "You know, we are always looking for more plumbers. You could become a plumber and triple your salary. Just make sure you say you only made it to 6th grade, they don't like educated people."
The professor takes him up on the offer and becomes a plumber. His salary triples and he doesn't have to work nearly as hard. But after a few years, a law gets passed that all licensed plumbers must have at least an 8th grade education...Not wanting to admit he lied on his application, he signs up for night classes.
On the first day of night school they all attend math class. The teacher wants to gauge the class so he asks the former mathematician, "What is the formula for the area of a circle?"
He walks up to the board and realizes he has forgotten the formula. So he begins to attempt to derive the formula, filling the board with complicated mathematics. He ends up figuring out it is negative pi times radius squared, but he knows that's incorrect, so he starts over, but again he comes up with the same equation.
After staring at the board for a minute he hears one of the plumbers in the class behind him whisper, "Switch the limits on the integral, dummy!"
The plumber comes over and quickly fixes the sink. The professor is happy until he gets the bill. He tells the plumber, "This is outrageous! You charge more for an hour than I make in a whole day!"
The plumber tells him, "You know, we are always looking for more plumbers. You could become a plumber and triple your salary. Just make sure you say you only made it to 6th grade, they don't like educated people."
The professor takes him up on the offer and becomes a plumber. His salary triples and he doesn't have to work nearly as hard. But after a few years, a law gets passed that all licensed plumbers must have at least an 8th grade education...Not wanting to admit he lied on his application, he signs up for night classes.
On the first day of night school they all attend math class. The teacher wants to gauge the class so he asks the former mathematician, "What is the formula for the area of a circle?"
He walks up to the board and realizes he has forgotten the formula. So he begins to attempt to derive the formula, filling the board with complicated mathematics. He ends up figuring out it is negative pi times radius squared, but he knows that's incorrect, so he starts over, but again he comes up with the same equation.
After staring at the board for a minute he hears one of the plumbers in the class behind him whisper, "Switch the limits on the integral, dummy!"
During the Spanish Inquisition, a rabbi, a radical teacher and an engineer were arrested and sentenced to beheading by guillotine.
The rabbi was locked into the blocks and the executioner pulled the lever. Down plunged the heavy blade only to stop just before doing the deed.
The crowd roared, "It's a miracle!"
They let the rabbi go.
Then it was the teacher's turn. Again the blade stopped.
"It's a miracle!" The cry went up again.
Again they let the prisoner go.
Next was the engineer.
He was bent into the blocks for his sentence when he craned his neck around and looked up at the menacing blade.
"Oh! I see the problem." He calls.
-Will (Dragonfly)
The rabbi was locked into the blocks and the executioner pulled the lever. Down plunged the heavy blade only to stop just before doing the deed.
The crowd roared, "It's a miracle!"
They let the rabbi go.
Then it was the teacher's turn. Again the blade stopped.
"It's a miracle!" The cry went up again.
Again they let the prisoner go.
Next was the engineer.
He was bent into the blocks for his sentence when he craned his neck around and looked up at the menacing blade.
"Oh! I see the problem." He calls.
-Will (Dragonfly)
Ha ha ha ha, I get it. They left off "Return of the" and "Attack of the"
Oh man! What a fax pass.
-Will (Dragonfly)
Oh man! What a fax pass.
-Will (Dragonfly)
I was really disappointed. I wanted to see Lion King or Spider Man.
I'm a little disappointed I can't see Spider King and Lion Man. They sound kindof interesting. Maybe they could make a cross over - Spider King Vs. Lion Man - Who will win this epic battle between arachnids and felines?Inwas
I was really disappointed. I wanted to see Lion King, or maybe Spider Man.
Maybe Spider King is a cross between a spider crab and king crab. Maybe they should open a restaurant.
A naval architect and engineer was having an arguement with his friend, an accountant. The architect earned less than half his friend's salary and his friend was suggesting it is a sign of higher intelligence that he made more money, than scienists and engineers. Therefore it was better to go to business school than to get a science or engineering degree. Afterall, everyone he knew from his MBA program made a lot more money than his friend with a science degree.
The naval architect called upon his engineering skills and proved, beyond a doubt, that MBAs were not as smart as engineers.
The engineer wrote a mathematical proof, "The Salary Theorem", to see if his friend was right.
It states that, "Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives, sales people, accountants and especially liberal arts majors."
The accountant agreed with this thesis. The proof goes on, supported by a mathematical equation where
Knowledge = K,
Power=P,
Money=M,
Work=M,
Time=t.
Based on the following two well known postulates that the accountant was always fond of saying:
Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power (K=P).
Postulate 2: Time is Money (t=M).
As every engineer knows: P = W/t.
Since: K = P, then K = W/t,
and t = M, then K = W/M.
Solving for M, we get: M = W/K.
Therefore, as Knowledge approaches zero, money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.
source: Salary Theorem - Math Jokes
-Will (Dragonfly)
The naval architect called upon his engineering skills and proved, beyond a doubt, that MBAs were not as smart as engineers.
The engineer wrote a mathematical proof, "The Salary Theorem", to see if his friend was right.
It states that, "Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives, sales people, accountants and especially liberal arts majors."
The accountant agreed with this thesis. The proof goes on, supported by a mathematical equation where
Knowledge = K,
Power=P,
Money=M,
Work=M,
Time=t.
Based on the following two well known postulates that the accountant was always fond of saying:
Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power (K=P).
Postulate 2: Time is Money (t=M).
As every engineer knows: P = W/t.
Since: K = P, then K = W/t,
and t = M, then K = W/M.
Solving for M, we get: M = W/K.
Therefore, as Knowledge approaches zero, money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.
source: Salary Theorem - Math Jokes
-Will (Dragonfly)
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Cajun jokes, Love 'em
Boudreaux, Thibodeaux, and Hebert were sitting around talking one afternoon after enjoying a little crawfish boil, and the conversation turned to what they would like to have people say about them if they died. Hebert says, "Me, if I could hear what dey are saying while I'm laying in my casket, is dat I was a great doctor and a good family man." Thibodeaux says "Me, I would like to hear dem say dat I was a good husband and a great teacher, and made a difference in da lives of hundreds of childrens."
Boudreaux thinks for a minute and says, "Mais me, I would like to hear somebody say 'Look, he's moving!'
Boudreaux, Thibodeaux, and Hebert were sitting around talking one afternoon after enjoying a little crawfish boil, and the conversation turned to what they would like to have people say about them if they died. Hebert says, "Me, if I could hear what dey are saying while I'm laying in my casket, is dat I was a great doctor and a good family man." Thibodeaux says "Me, I would like to hear dem say dat I was a good husband and a great teacher, and made a difference in da lives of hundreds of childrens."
Boudreaux thinks for a minute and says, "Mais me, I would like to hear somebody say 'Look, he's moving!'
Young girl goes to confession.
Girl: Father I have sinned, my Boyfriend made love to me 7 times last night.
Priest: Go the the market and buy 7 Lemons. Squeeze and drink the juice.
Girl: Will that wash away my sins?
Priest: No, but it will wash the smile off your face.
Girl: Father I have sinned, my Boyfriend made love to me 7 times last night.
Priest: Go the the market and buy 7 Lemons. Squeeze and drink the juice.
Girl: Will that wash away my sins?
Priest: No, but it will wash the smile off your face.
At a bus stop a family with 9 kids and a blind man are waiting for the bus. When the bus comes, the driver says there is only space for 8, so the dad and the blind man decide to walk. During the walk the blind man taps his cane on the ground in front of him to feel where he is going. The dad says “can’t you put a rubber end on to make it quiet“? The blind man responds saying “if you had put a rubber on your end, we wouldn’t be walking”
Soooo..... we have all met a deuterostmic blastopore before.
Deuterostome - Wikipedia
en.wikipedia.org
And we’ve all been one, now and then.Soooo..... we have all met a deuterostmic blastopore before.
Deuterostome - Wikipedia
