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Its funny Friday!

Discussion in 'Ask All Sailors' started by rgranger, Sep 14, 2018. Add this thread to a FAQ

  1. Kermit

    Kermit

    Joined Jul 31, 2010
    5,029 posts, 2,299 likes
    Hunter 260
    US Lake Murray Sailing Club, SC
    Just the facts, Ma’am.
     


    Will Gilmore likes this.
  2. Justin_NSA

    Justin_NSA

    Joined Jul 7, 2004
    5,347 posts, 1,062 likes
    Hunter 30T
    US Cheney, KS
    Yep.
    I do see blank faces sometimes when I reference things from "our" days. It used to not be so often.
     


  3. DAVA390

    DAVA390

    Joined Jul 13, 2010
    932 posts, 145 likes
    Precision 23
    US Perry Hall,Baltimore County
    2 grandsons aboard 9,11 years old. Backed away from the ramp, turn the outboard ,180 spin the boat, " that's my Bat-Turn" ! Kids: " What's that?"
     


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  4. Will Gilmore

    Will Gilmore

    Joined Oct 19, 2017
    4,276 posts, 2,245 likes
    O'Day 19
    US Littleton, NH
    A sailor sails into the harbor late one night after a grueling ocean passage. [​IMG]
    He is exhausted and not looking forward to all the repairs and maintenance work ahead of him, so he takes a walk along the waterfront hoping to find some "distraction" for an hour or two.
    He goes into a local establishment and orders a:beer:when a lady of the evening approaches him.[​IMG]
    "Hey there sailor. You look like you could use a little company tonight. How about I make you a deal?"
    "Yeah? I'm interested. What's tonight's special?";)
    The woman of occupation smiles, sizing up the tired sailor and answers, "How about you pay me five hundred dollars, US, and I'll do anything you want as long as you can say it in only three words."
    "Five hundred dollars is a lot of money. Are you that good?"
    "As long as you can say it in just three words, I will do ANYTHING you want."
    The sailor thought for a moment. His eyes brighten as he says, "Repaint my boat."

    -Will (Dragonfly)
     


  5. Rick486

    Rick486

    Joined Oct 1, 2007
    1,194 posts, 312 likes
    Hunter 44DS
    US Pt. Judith
    She belongs over on that other thread Will.
     


    Will Gilmore likes this.
  6. Justin_NSA

    Justin_NSA

    Joined Jul 7, 2004
    5,347 posts, 1,062 likes
    Hunter 30T
    US Cheney, KS
  7. Sailavie1

    Sailavie1

    Joined Oct 31, 2012
    231 posts, 230 likes
    Hunter 2008 H25
    ca Lake Wabamun
    This little poster has been around my office for a long time and inspired me to persevere through some tough times. I think it is quite fitting for this group and especially for one member in particular.
    B326BA11-5E24-43BF-AF0E-9CD12B1CA1DD.jpeg
     


    Last edited: Feb 21, 2019
  8. Michael Davis

    Michael Davis

    Joined Jan 5, 2017
    993 posts, 477 likes
    Beneteau First 38
    Ca Lyall Harbour Saturna Island
    Love it!
     


    Sailavie1 likes this.
  9. Charlie Jones s/v Tehani

    Charlie Jones s/v Tehani

    Joined Mar 1, 2012
    1,658 posts, 624 likes
    1961 Rhodes Meridian 25
    us Texas coast
    lol Used to have that under the glass on my desk, when I ran a furniture repair shop :)
     


    Sailavie1 likes this.
  10. Will Gilmore

    Will Gilmore

    Joined Oct 19, 2017
    4,276 posts, 2,245 likes
    O'Day 19
    US Littleton, NH
    I've always loved that one.
    We use to have this one on the wall in engineering where I worked for a modular housing company.
    [​IMG]
    While looking for the cartoon above, I came across this one, which seems more appropriate for sailboat owners. [​IMG]

    -Will (Dragonfly)
     


    jssailem likes this.
  11. jssailem

    jssailem

    Joined Oct 22, 2014
    8,313 posts, 3,468 likes
    CAL 35 Cruiser
    US Salem, Moored Port Everett WA
    Sorry I could not wait till Friday.


    No Speak English!


    A German woman married an American gentleman from Virginia and they lived happily ever after in his home town.


    [​IMG]

    The poor lady didn't speak English but was able to communicate with her husband.


    The real problem arose

    whenever she had to shop for groceries.

    One day, she went to the butcher counter and wanted to
    buy chicken legs. She didn't know how to put forward her
    request so, in desperation, she clucked like a chicken and lifted
    up her skirt to show some of her thighs. The butcher got the message and gave
    her chicken legs.


    A few days later she needed to get chicken breasts, again she
    didn't know how to say it, so she clucked like a chicken and
    unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher just a little, small peek at her breasts.
    The butcher understood again and gave her some chicken breasts.


    On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausage.
    Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her
    husband to the store...

    (Please scroll down.)

    [​IMG]



    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    What were you Thinking?


    Her husband speaks English....Hellooo!



    I worry about you!
     


  12. Will Gilmore

    Will Gilmore

    Joined Oct 19, 2017
    4,276 posts, 2,245 likes
    O'Day 19
    US Littleton, NH
    I'm surprised the butcher understood the second request so easily. Not every butcher is so dense. I mean, not every butcher is so perspecacuous. ;)

    -Will (Dragonfly)
     


    Captain Larry-DH likes this.
  13. jssailem

    jssailem

    Joined Oct 22, 2014
    8,313 posts, 3,468 likes
    CAL 35 Cruiser
    US Salem, Moored Port Everett WA
    What? Butchers are just meat jocks, carting quarters on their shoulders and wielding sharp knives?

    They have feelings.
     


  14. Will Gilmore

    Will Gilmore

    Joined Oct 19, 2017
    4,276 posts, 2,245 likes
    O'Day 19
    US Littleton, NH
    What I'm trying to say is, were it I, I'm not sure I wouldn't have needed more than just a hint of what she was asking for. I can be rather dense for things like that. That butcher was very, shall we say, perceptive. :what:

    -Will (Dragonfly)
     


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  15. Sailavie1

    Sailavie1

    Joined Oct 31, 2012
    231 posts, 230 likes
    Hunter 2008 H25
    ca Lake Wabamun
    Two guys were fishing on a lake in their small aluminum boat when one of them hooked something. He reeled in and found an old bottle hooked on the end of the line. When he opened the top, a genie popped out and said, “I would normally grant you three wishes but I am tired and will only grant one, so make it good”. The two guys thought about it for a while and agreed on their one wish.

    “We want you to turn the water in this lake into beer” said the one who hooked the bottle. And poof, the water in the lake turned into beer (Canadian beer, the best kind) and the genie disappeared.

    The fishermen smiled and started to drink the unlimited beer. After some steady drinking they became quite drunk (they were not used to the Canadian beer) and one of them said to the other, “Y, y, you know we didn’t think this through all that well”. “Whaa, what do you mean?” said the other. “Well, nn, nn, now we have to pee in the boat!”
     


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  16. Will Gilmore

    Will Gilmore

    Joined Oct 19, 2017
    4,276 posts, 2,245 likes
    O'Day 19
    US Littleton, NH
    This site is a true treasuretrove of good'ns.
    https://www.funny-jokes.com/humor/stories/sailor_stories.htm
    The Shipwrecked Barrel

    One morning the shipwrecked mariner noticed something floating towards the deserted island that had become his home since his sailboat sank six months ago. As the object came closer, he realized that it was a large barrel. He very soon thereafter realised that hanging on to the barrel was a very scantily clad woman. [​IMG] In fact she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Arriving on shore the woman left the barrel and slowly and suggestively walked toward the sailor. She whispered into his ear, 'I have something you want!' The mariner broke into a run towards to breaking waves yelling, 'Don't tell me you've got beer in that barrel.'

    -Will (":beer:", Dragonfly)
     


    jssailem and Sailavie1 like this.
  17. Tin Kicker

    Tin Kicker

    Joined Mar 8, 2019
    1 posts, 7 likes
    Ericson 32-III
    US Annapolis
  18. jssailem

    jssailem

    Joined Oct 22, 2014
    8,313 posts, 3,468 likes
    CAL 35 Cruiser
    US Salem, Moored Port Everett WA
    Janet was lying in bed one night. Art was falling asleep, but Janet was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting, even in bed."

    Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.

    A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me.”

    Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

    Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my neck."

    Angrily, Art threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed and headed to the bathroom.

    "Where are you going?" Janet asked.

    "To get my teeth!"
     


  19. Will Gilmore

    Will Gilmore

    Joined Oct 19, 2017
    4,276 posts, 2,245 likes
    O'Day 19
    US Littleton, NH
    Funny how, for some couples, a great love story can go from[​IMG] This.

    To
    [​IMG]
    This in just a few short decades.

    -Will (Dragonfly)
     


    Last edited: Mar 15, 2019 at 7:06 PM
  20. jon hansen

    jon hansen

    Joined May 25, 2012
    1,547 posts, 1,078 likes
    john alden caravelle 42
    us sturgeon bay, wis


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