Its funny Friday!
- Thread starter rgranger
- Start date
This bit of wisdom was recently shared....
A husband goes to his counselor, worried about his wife's temper.
The counselor asks, "What's the problem?
The husband says, "I don't know what to do. Every day my wife loses her temper for no reason even when I tell her I’m trying to understand. This scares me."
The Counselor says, "I have a cure for that....it works, so try it even though you may at first have doubts. When it seems your wife is getting angry, take a double shot of Jack Daniel's and swish it in your mouth. Swish and swish, but don't swallow until she either leaves the room or calms down."
Two weeks later, the husband reports to his counselor "That was a brilliant idea. Every time my wife started to get angry, I swished the Jack. I swished and swished, and yes like you said she calmed down. So how does swishing Jack Daniel's in my mouth do that??!!
The counselor said, "The Jack Daniels does nothing. Keeping your mouth shut is the trick!"
The counselor asks, "What's the problem?
The husband says, "I don't know what to do. Every day my wife loses her temper for no reason even when I tell her I’m trying to understand. This scares me."
The Counselor says, "I have a cure for that....it works, so try it even though you may at first have doubts. When it seems your wife is getting angry, take a double shot of Jack Daniel's and swish it in your mouth. Swish and swish, but don't swallow until she either leaves the room or calms down."
Two weeks later, the husband reports to his counselor "That was a brilliant idea. Every time my wife started to get angry, I swished the Jack. I swished and swished, and yes like you said she calmed down. So how does swishing Jack Daniel's in my mouth do that??!!
The counselor said, "The Jack Daniels does nothing. Keeping your mouth shut is the trick!"
A husband and wife were getting some marriage counseling, and the wife had launched into a tirade about her husband's shortcomings. The poor guy just sat on the couch waiting for it to end, but it seemed endless.
Then the therapist got up and walked over to the wife, drew her up to him and planted a big, wet kiss on her lips.
After about ten seconds of this, he let up. The wife was pretty taken aback and just sat back down, dumbstruck.
Then the therapist turned to the husband and said "She needs that at least three times a week".
The husband replied "I can have her here on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, doc!"
Then the therapist got up and walked over to the wife, drew her up to him and planted a big, wet kiss on her lips.
After about ten seconds of this, he let up. The wife was pretty taken aback and just sat back down, dumbstruck.
Then the therapist turned to the husband and said "She needs that at least three times a week".
The husband replied "I can have her here on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, doc!"
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The police stop an old guy in questionable condition at 1 am.
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“What are you doing out so late, sir?” asks the police officer.
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“I’m going to a seminar on ‘The harmful effects of alcohol’,” replies the man.
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“Are you pulling my leg or something?!“ says the police officer, who would hold a seminar like that at this hour?!”
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The man sighs, “my wife.”
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“What are you doing out so late, sir?” asks the police officer.
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“I’m going to a seminar on ‘The harmful effects of alcohol’,” replies the man.
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“Are you pulling my leg or something?!“ says the police officer, who would hold a seminar like that at this hour?!”
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The man sighs, “my wife.”
If I may have one regret in life, it will be that when I’m gone, my wife will sell the boat for what I told her it cost.
@Sailavie1 I would have thought the regret would be that you’ll never know what she sold it for. Perhaps she will make a killing on the boat, take the money and spend it frivolously on something that would annoy you.
Then again what will you care?
Then again what will you care?
@jssailem I like the way you think. With that in mind, I can go to the great beyond with a smile on my face. She deserves to be rewarded for putting up with a wretch like me (but don’t tell her that). 
We are currently on Grand Cayman for a month, and we were at a very upscale retail complex the other day. It has a small marina, and Karen and I caught each other looking at a newer 40-footer motoring by. In unison, we said "do you miss it"? We laughed, and agreed that we did not.
Had a 35 foot Cross trimaran that I built. Had wife and teenage boy aboard. lived aboard and cruised three years. No way I want to maintain a boat like that any more. My 25 is all I need and has handled three aboard nicely.. I did just buy back a trailerable 21. for longer trips on land. But if I was 40 again, maybe I'd feel differently. But I'll be 78 next month- I'll keep my small boats.
Here's my 35 on launch day- I was 40 then
Here's my 35 on launch day- I was 40 then
Ok... I am a couple of days late and a few dollars short (darn Govt Shutdown)...
But this came across my desk this morning and I smiled.
A SPELLING BEE
PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z'S
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
But this came across my desk this morning and I smiled.
A SPELLING BEE
PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z'S
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
It's a Fun Friday thread but today is Monday. Does this attachment work?
Here's an opportunity if ever I saw one.@jssailem I like the way you think. With that in mind, I can go to the great beyond with a smile on my face. She deserves to be rewarded for putting up with a wretch like me (but don’t tell her that).
