Little White Dragon,
Welcome aboard the good ship SBO. Everyone is here to help and these other sailors really know their stuff. I'm mostly here for the free food.
Without getting too out of line, it looks like we are discussing a female/male relationship when we should be considering a male/male relationship. I hope it is not offensive to ask if that is the case. It's not that it really makes any difference, but it is nice to use the right language.
Often, the issues around bringing one half of a partnership into an activity the other half is already competent in is one of control. I have no idea if this is the case here, I'm just making a suggestion as to a direction to look in.
If one person doesn't like to be the one left following the lead of the other, they may resist entering into activities they have to defer expertise in, to the other partner. If such is the case, finding a neutral and recognized expert to help guide you both may be a better way to introduce your husband to this new activity. Allow him to learn on his own, avoid "instructing" in ways that make him feel helpless, secondary or demeaned. Help him keep his personal identity and sense of self-worth intact.
My wife and I struggle with that dynamic all the time. She does not like taking orders any more than I do and it is far easier for her to take a backseat to a neutral expert than let me be the only one calling the shots. I, of course, don't suffer from those same human frailties
. I'm perfectly content to let her be the expert where I am the noob
.
After looking up your boat design and watching a video. The luger is not classically beautiful. She seems to sail quite well, however, and I can't help but wonder if there is a sense of self- consciousness around the boat itself? Perhaps someone has made a crack about the looks of your little yacht that your husband can't get past. Again, pure speculation that I thought I might throw out there for consideration. If something like that is going on, remind him, and yourself, boats are expensive and just owning a boat that sails, let alone sails well, is something to feel proud of. Few of us have everything we ever wanted in a boat, but we have boats and sailors content themselves with working with what they've got. Don't get a different boat just because you may feel it doesn't project the image you might want. Jwing is right on, it just might not be his thing. Only patience and time will tell that.
Congratulations on your new boat and good luck with you exciting quest to enter into the world of sailboat ownership. Please keep us posted and we love pictures.
Welcome aboard.
-Will (Dragonfly)