The admiral says size does matter...

Jul 27, 2011
4,988
Bavaria 38E Alamitos Bay
If it were me, I'd charter a couple of different sized larger boats first for a minimum of 4 days each, about 2 to 4 mo apart; then rehash the situation. Don't commit blindly to a fairly substantial financial obligation.
 

Joe

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Jun 1, 2004
7,999
Catalina 27 Mission Bay, San Diego
Before you dig yourself into a hole...... get her out on the water somehow, someway... because you may find there are other issues... and it won't necessarily be size.

Quite frankly, I can't imagine she won't at least try it once... but then again, I had the same issue with my sister... I ended up tricking her by saying we were just going to motor around the small bay and look at the houses.... I had rigged the boat anyway... of course she wouldn't know that. But, we drove around in the flat water for a while till she got into it... then after taking a peek at the jetty entrance and not seeing anything intimidating I said "hey, let's go out to the end and if it's nice we'll sail, if not we'll turn around" She agreed.... one thing led to another and before you know it we were sailing, I let here steer so she could see how stable the boat was.... no problems... she had fun.

Many non sailing women have a fear of the boat heeling over and capsizing..... once they realize that it won't, they feel safe.... once you show them that you're capable of handling the boat correctly... they feel safe..
 
Oct 29, 2009
49
Hunter 42 Passage Daytona Beach
I ended up with a Hunter 42 Passage after 3 yrs of searching. When I narrowed it down to the Passage I made an appointment with a broker to show the wife several different boats of various sizes and saved the Passage until last. When we entered the Passage we looked at the words came out of her mouth, "I could live on this", the hunt was over.
 

EmmaC

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Nov 16, 2009
10
Hunter 33 Miami
Hmmm, well this 'Admiral' married the Captain in Key West, Fl, we both had sailboats. However, after a quick consideration we kept mine and sold his. Why? Because mine was the bigger boat. He had a Flying Scot and I had a Hunter 33. Then we moved to Miami, loved the Hunter up there too. Four years ago he moved me to Houma, Louisiana and we sold my beloved boat because we had no place to keep her. Now I am ready to return to Florida where I can sail a big boat. Retire is only a couple of years away.

And guys - sometimes the Admiral is a better sailor than you are. Just saying.
 
Feb 26, 2008
603
Catalina 30 Marathon, FL
My wife enjoyed our C22 but suggested we go bigger and keep it at the Jersey Shore as our "Shore House".

It's worked out great for us. Now every so often she'll talk about moving up to a 38. I'm actually trying to discourage this. Extra cost, extra maintenance and I just don't feel the need to go bigger right now. Two years ago maybe - but the longer we're in this boat the more I like it - and you can't discount the fact that it's paid for :dance:
 
Jun 21, 2009
119
Catalina 30 Mk 1, #3335 Midland, Ontario
Man are yall a lucky bunch of guys. My wife has not even stepped foot in my two sailboats. Has no interest in them and I would go big if that would be the problem.
Ah, my situation exactly. My wife is afraid of the water. She freezes when the thought of swimming comes up, won't wade out to where the water is deeper than she is, and most definitely won't allow the boat to heel like a proper sailboat should. She gets catatonic! Stays up on the high side because she's deathly afraid the water going past at seemingly a million miles an hour will suddenly leap out a watery hand and grab her to take her down to the depths like some H2O Krakin! She grabs on to the high-side cockpit winch and hangs on for dear life while I turn up in to the wind and slacken sails. We have come to the agreement it's not for her so I single hand my Catalina 30 everywhere instead. Not an ideal situation, I'd much rather my wife was with me but it just won't happen.
A Catalina 34 would be my boat of choice but if she won't get on a boat without all the drama and fanfare why spend the extra money? C'est la vie...
 
Apr 2, 2011
185
Catalina 27 Niceville, FL
Man are yall a lucky bunch of guys. My wife has not even stepped foot in my two sailboats. Has no interest in them and I would go big if that would be the problem.

My ex-wife was exactly the same way.
 
May 31, 2004
858
Catalina 28 Branford
My wife said "maybe we need a bigger boat" after the first (and only) time she slept aboard our Oday 23. However, I know her better than to take that seriously. She has little interest in sailing more than she does (maybe three daysails a season), and no interest in spending multiple days aboard. My boat is the right size to go daysailing with another couple or the kids, a quick single-handed jaunt after work, or the occasionaly boys' overnight trip. I don't want to have to maintain a floating condo unless my wife is really invested in coming along. And right now, she's not.
 
Apr 7, 2009
4
hunter Legend Toronto
Test Ride

Cheaper to rent for a test, than to buy for a test. No resale problem with a rental. just a thought!
 
May 4, 2013
1
Hunter 25 Smugglers Cove Marina
Go for it. My wonderful wife said just that to me 15 years ago. Standing headroom, hot & cold pressure water, a real galley, a huge V berth (not birth), is very welcoming. For both of you. Enjoy, it works.

As far as birth is concerned, your son was conceived on our Catalina 25, after we found there wasn't enough room to do so on our C22!

Good luck, happy hunting.

It;s worth it to have her with you. :)
Did you just say, "your son was conceived on our Catalina 25?":dance:
 
Jul 28, 2012
79
Hunter 410 San Blas,Mexico
I offer a course on Effect Listening Skills in which the benefits of listening in decision making are discussed. Interested? LOL 20 years ago, a sailor, his wife, daughter and 80lb Lab spent two weeks abound our Cat 22, our last extended trip aboard that boat. It was the whole afventure vs ordeal thing! Things that became readily important were a head with standing headroom and a modicum privacy, births that did not have to be assembled before sleep, a galley that was not designed by a 'idiot' male. Fast foreword to three staterooms, two heads with showers, full galley with good refrigeration and most important a great "living space" where both guests and hosts can have privacy. The whole family's needs met. In today's market, there are lots of good used boats available. My advise is find one that meets your wife's needs and sails to your expectations. You will both quickly learn to love the benefits of the other's needs and as result spend much more time aboard. Good luck, enjoy!
 
Jun 6, 2013
1
Bristol 29.9 Richmond Hill
Size Does Matter to a Wife

So I've been after my wife to go sailing with me forever, she always has some objection, after pressing her (at great peril to myself) she said she would be claustrophobic in the boat. Now she does have a dislike of elevators and other tight spaces, but I explained to her that, yes, my 22 foot sailboat is 'small' but you sail in the cockpit, not the cabin, and as far as sailboat cockpits go the ODay 22's is roomy, not to mention its open air, the horizon and sky are the limit. No dice.

So as I muse over sailboats online or in magazines that I'd like to own, which is pretty much anything plus 30 with standing room for a 6'3" guy, she will look and say "I'd go sailing with you on that..."

So I've discovered that I'm in a particularly interesting situation here, my wife wants me to buy a bigger boat, in fact, she practically insists on it, as I'm seeing it. This isn't about opulence, although I'm sure that does't hurt, she's a former farm girl, likes camping, doesn't mind roughing it. Maybe she sees bigger boats as 'safer'.

Whatever the reason, for the sake of our marriage I feel I must do what is right.

File this under first world problems.

Now I just need a little extra cash...
Remember: No matter how big a boat you own, it will always be just a little too small for the wife. Thirty foot, she wants a thirty five. Thirty five she wants a thirty eight. This can go on forever. I say, stick with what YOU like and enjoy it!
 
Jun 12, 2010
936
Oday 22 Orleans Marina, NOLA
Remember: No matter how big a boat you own, it will always be just a little too small for the wife. Thirty foot, she wants a thirty five. Thirty five she wants a thirty eight. This can go on forever. I say, stick with what YOU like and enjoy it!
I like big boats, I cannot lie. ..

The old axiom of the bigger the boat the fewer times it sails does concern me a bit, but I think it's more about the sailor than the boat. I take the 22 out every weekend that weather petmits.
 

jcb2

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Jun 5, 2012
51
Oday 31 Bayville, NJ
I'm blessed also. When we were young we sailed a 14' Scorpion (Sunfish knock off). Then we got a 19' O'Day Mariner so we could have a bigger cockpit to invite friends, a porta potty with privacy and a place sleep overnight. Then we got a 23' Santana 2023C for the pop-up top, enclosed head, etc. now we have an O'Day 31 with a lot more room for entertaining and comfort. I was content to stay with any of them. Every time we've changed it has been because my wife wanted a bigger boat. I think she's happy now because we both feel that this is our keeper. As I said, I'm blessed too.
 
Feb 21, 2011
74
Hunter 410 Lorain
These posts were sure an eye-opener for me! My wife always carped about the money I spend on the boats I've had. Then I (finally) got my dream-boat - a Hunter 41. Now she just loves it! She finally has a boat that has the cockpit, cabin, berths, and heads she wanted for HER comfort.
And - yes guys - the wife needs to steer the boat! Capt Bill on STARGAZER
 
Mar 19, 2010
30
Hunter 1997 376 Ventura, CA
We had a Hunter 31FT and the wife did not like the galley and the aft birth. We went looking for a bigger boat and set foot on a Hunter 376 and she fell in love with the boat that was the stories end, and I also like the way it handles and the extra room. So just GO FOR IT you will enjoy the time together.
Cheers Gary
 
Feb 29, 2012
37
Hunter 376 Elvina Bay,NSW, Australia
Yes, I had Rosie (My dear Admiral) choose the boat she likes,our present Hunter 376.
However she watched me very carefully when on the last Boat show in Sydney I was really impressed with the latest Hunter 50'+ series, we just sold our house and cashed up and the sales man thought it would be nice for us to upgrade, needless to say we disappointed him!
Must admit the bigger boats are really impressive with all the Gizmo's o/b, but would cost a small fortune ( a lousy 800k $) to obtain.
 
Jan 6, 2010
1,520
I always thought sailing is so much more enjoyable with your wife/girlfriend aboard. I couldn't imagine just having to sail with the guys all the time. Woman bring an calming ambiance by their presence. Maybe try making a deal that if she goes sailing with you, you would join in a passion of hers. Over the years, I was surprised how many wives do not sail with their man. That has to put a dent in enjoying the boat as much.

Pirate,
A previous girlfriend was also terrified of the water so never really had fun sailing. To her credit, she only did this to support my passion but, it showed. It took six months of prodding but, I finally talked her into swimming lessons. Then for the next three months, we hit the beach a lot. Small baby steps got larger & larger.

A month later, she had enough confidence to get off the back of the boat in 20 ft. of water. She was timid at first, but within a half hour made her first circumnavigation around my boat. Magellan would have been proud. I also got her more involved in steering, sail handling etc. & her enjoyment grew. Feeling involved was what did it.

Years later, I wonder how good a swimmer she is today.

CR
 
Apr 11, 2012
324
Cataina 400 MK II Santa Cruz
My wife and I have sailed, and brought up the kids, in a Catlina 30. We upgraded to a 34, which I thought was the ultimate "big boat" for us. We went abord a Catalina 400 and she looked at me and told me that we were going to get one. She liked the interior accomodations (the aft cabin, no more sleeping in a V-berth) that much. Yes, we bought one. Happy wife = happy life.